Make Me Melt(14)

He wondered how the other man would react if he told him that he’d just had Judge Banks’s daughter—the woman he was sworn to protect—in a steamy lip-lock. Or that he’d likely be in bed with her right now if Colton hadn’t chosen that moment to knock on the door. On the other hand, the deputy would probably find the whole thing highly entertaining. After all, he’d met his fiancée, Maddie, after she’d taken him hostage, stolen his truck and his service revolver and then led him on a chase through the Sierra Nevada mountains to Reno. Even after he’d caught her, Colton hadn’t been able to actually arrest her. Instead, he’d fallen in love with her and asked her to marry him. Of course, there had been extenuating circumstances, and even Jason had found himself drawn into helping them.

But he couldn’t see a happy ending for himself and Caroline, not when they came from such different backgrounds. Not when he owed her father so much. Not when he’d bruised her young heart twelve years ago.

He should never have asked for this protective detail. But the thought of letting anyone else take responsibility for her safety had been unthinkable. Quite simply, he didn’t trust anyone to watch over her the way that he would.

“Is something amusing, sir?”

Colton’s words snapped Jason out of his reverie, and he shook his head. “No, nothing about this situation is amusing. I’m just seeing the irony, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?”

That having him watch over Caroline Banks was a little like having the wolf guard the lamb. But he couldn’t say that to his deputy marshal.

“Order yourself some supper, Deputy, and I’ll see you around midnight.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jason drew the food into the room and closed the door, securing the chain and the dead bolt despite the fact that both Deputy Black and Deputy Mitchell sat directly outside. He was acutely conscious of Caroline watching him from the far side of the room. He exhaled roughly, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“About what happened,” he began, not looking at her. “That was a mistake.”

“Which part?” she asked. “Kissing me or stopping?”

He slanted her a warning look. “Caroline.”

“What if I didn’t want you to stop?”

Her words reverberated through Jason, causing his body to harden. She’d felt so good in his arms, and she’d tasted exactly as he’d remembered from all those years ago, like wild honey. But she was no longer an impressionable, innocent girl. She was a woman now, and there was no reason why he shouldn’t take whatever she offered. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want her.


He did.

He also knew that getting involved with Caroline would be a mistake of monumental proportions. After all, she was the precious daughter of his mentor and friend. Judge Banks had spent his life ensuring her safety and happiness. He wanted the best for her, and that didn’t include a guy like Jason. He could still hear her scathing words from that long-ago night—he was gutter trash.

He may have cleaned up his act and donned the veneer of respectability, but deep down he knew she was right. He couldn’t change who he was—the son of a drug addict, born and raised on the crime-ridden streets of Hunters Point. He’d done things that would cause Caroline to recoil in disgust if she ever knew.

Even if he could change who he was, it would make no difference. They lived on opposite sides of the country, and he didn’t do long-distance relationships any more than he did long-term relationships.

“Look,” he finally said, carefully choosing his words, “you’ve had a traumatic day, and you’re vulnerable right now. I won’t take advantage of you that way, not when I’m detailed to protect you.”

“Even if it’s what I want?”

Jason felt a wry smile tug at his mouth. Even now, after all these years, she felt entitled to have something simply on the basis of wanting it.

“I’m not sure you know what you want right now.”

Her mouth tightened, and he could almost see the walls going up around her. She was shutting down, shutting him out. “I want to go home.”

He gave her a tolerant look. “Caroline, you know that’s not possible. Not right now. Maybe in a day or two, if they clear the scene.”

Her chin went up. “What about the beach house? That’s not off-limits, is it?”

He frowned. “The beach house is no safer than the house in Sea Cliff. We have to assume that whoever shot your father also knows about the house in Santa Cruz. Even if we cleared the house, it’s a long drive. Sure you want to make that trip each day?”

“So I could stay there?” she asked, ignoring his question.

Jason didn’t like the idea of returning to the beach house, but there was no reason why she couldn’t return home, either to the house in Sea Cliff, once the investigators were finished processing the crime scene, or the house in Santa Cruz. He had enough men to provide ample security wherever she chose to go.

She stared at him for a moment, then spun on her heel and walked toward the windows. She abruptly changed course and moved to stand near the table.

“Please tell me we can go to the beach house. Even you can see that I can’t stay here,” she said, not looking at him.

With you.

She didn’t say the words aloud, but they hung in the air between them. Jason blew out a hard breath. This was his fault, and he mentally kicked himself. But there was no way he was going to give up the protection detail or allow another deputy to step in and take over. He’d pulled a lot of strings when he’d contacted his counterpart in San Francisco and asked for the assignment. He couldn’t back out now. And in all honesty, he didn’t want to. “The investigators should be done with the Sea Cliff house in a day or so,” he said quietly. “If you want to go to the house in Santa Cruz, I’ll make the arrangements. But for tonight, we’ll stay here.”