Make Me Bad(19)

“I’m going, Colten,” I said, suddenly shooting to my feet and accidentally knocking my hip into the table. My Scrabble tiles went flying and my dad’s coffee lapped over the edge of his mug. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I hadn’t caused a scene on purpose, but it still left me looking like a petulant child.

“Fine, Maddie. I’ll take you, but we’re only going to stay for a little while. I have an early shift tomorrow.”

I should have told him that didn’t matter. I didn’t have work in the morning. I could stay at the party as long as I wanted, but I was getting my way, and I didn’t think I needed to push my luck.

I have a complicated relationship with my family. My mom passed away soon after I was born from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which is a fancy name for a heart problem no one even knew about, so it’s only ever been the three of us: my dad, Colten, and me. My brother was already six when I was born, and he was fiercely protective even then. Apparently, when we would go to the playground as kids, he’d hold my hand and help me up the stairs and down the slide. He wouldn’t let bigger kids get within ten feet of me and always made sure everyone knew he was my big brother, there to defend me if anyone got in my way.

In my eyes, I had an idyllic childhood. My dad took Colten and me fishing and camping and hiking. I was outside most of summer and by the end, when school would start up again, I’d have calloused feet, a smattering of freckles across my cheeks, and a few new scars to show off to my friends.

Looking back, I’m not sure when my relationship with them became stifling, but I can see the wrong turns I took. I didn’t move out when I was eighteen. I stayed home and commuted to college. After I got my degree, Dad had just had a mild stroke. It was nothing major, but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone in the house, so I stayed. My dad hasn’t had another stroke in three years, but I still live in my childhood bedroom. I’m under my dad’s thumb and Colten’s protective shield. They mean well. They love me as fiercely as I love them, but it can’t continue like this.

Something has to change, starting tonight.





The party is a little more packed than I expected it to be. Full of beautiful people dressed to the nines, the house is also a lot nicer than I expected. When I heard it was a house party, I pictured plastic red cups and beer pong in someone’s dingy basement. I forget sometimes how high the wealth soars in Clifton Cove. Jake’s house looks like he pulled it right out of the pages of Architectural Digest. It’s metal and glass and hard lines, all designed to showcase the breathtaking views of the water. The sun has already set, but the moon is high and full enough to illuminate the lapping waves crashing on the shore a few yards beyond his house.

He’s done well for himself. My brother told me on the way over that Jake manages a hedge fund. With that on top of his family money, it seems he’ll never want for anything in life. I wonder what that would feel like.

We’re still hovering near the door. My brother, while not exactly touching me, is still making it perfectly clear that he wants me to stay by his side. I might as well have a collar around my neck. He keeps glancing over at me, making sure I’m doing okay. We’re standing in a circle of his friends as they talk about things I really don’t care about. Someone offers me a drink, and Colten chastises him.

His friend laughs. “Last I checked, she’s not a little kid anymore, Colt.”

My brother shrugs off his remark and turns to me, giving in. “You want something to drink, Maddie? I’ll get it for you.”

I look down at the beer in his hand and scrunch my nose. I don’t drink alcohol all that often, but I know enough to pass on the cheap stuff. A few of the women are carrying around flutes of champagne. It feels wildly ridiculous in a setting like this, but then I realize maybe it fits perfectly and the only thing out of place is me.

“I’ll take some champagne,” I say, smiling.

Colten’s friend, Ryan, jumps into action. “I’ll go get you some, Madison.”

“Just bring the bottle,” Colten demands, catching my eye once again. “Never let a guy fix you a drink unless you watch him do it, even Ryan.”

“I heard that, you asshole,” Ryan shouts over his shoulder.

Colten and his friends lapse back into talk about the Astros’ early season, and I give myself the first opportunity to glance around the party and look for Ben. I’m disappointed he hasn’t approached me yet. I wanted him to be pacing at the door, wild with anxiety over whether or not I’d make an appearance tonight.

Of course that’s not the case. It doesn’t take me long to find him. All I have to do is follow the line of adoring fans, the sycophants waiting anxiously for their turn to talk to the king.

He’s dangerously attractive tonight in a white shirt underneath an army green fatigue jacket. His dark jeans and brown suede boots are so effortlessly cool. Of course the whole outfit only works so well because of his tall frame and broad shoulders. His thick hair is styled back away from his face, and his features are more severe than they’ve ever seemed before. I study him intently, realizing I’ve never had the chance to observe him like this. He has a face for fury, an underlying arrogance that could cut straight through you if he wanted it to. His only saving grace is the light amber color of his eyes. They soften him. A little.

His circle of friends makes up the epicenter of the party. While the women here are all beautifully made up, the ones surrounding him are the glitziest of the bunch. Their dresses are daring and hug their tantalizing figures perfectly. I watch two of them edge closer to him, vying for his attention at the exact moment his gaze finally lifts to meet mine. He doesn’t look surprised in the least. In fact, it’s like he’s been aware I was watching him this whole time. If I had any sense, I’d look away now, but it’s like he has me on the end of his hook, caught.