Make Me Bad(16)

The alternative—that I’m dreaming about her because I’m harboring feelings—is out of the question now.

By revealing her birthday resolution, by laying every bit of herself on the line for me, she effectively stamped out any potential there was for us. I might not be a complete gentleman, but I’m also not such an asshole that I’d pursue and toy with the emotions of a girl like her. She’s innocent, and not just when it comes to matters of the bedroom. I can’t believe how honest she was with me, a perfect stranger. I could use that honesty against her. A lesser man probably would.

It suddenly feels like I’m her confidant, her accomplice in a daring mission. She wants to change her life and check things off her bucket list. Some might find it a little ridiculous, childish even. To me, it’s daring. So many people wake up and repeat the same things day in and day out. How many have the courage to shake things up? To reject the safety of their routine? I haven’t stepped out of my comfort zone in years, and maybe I need this as much as she does.

Even all of that aside, the final nail in the Ben and Madison coffin was hammered home when she openly rejected the idea of sleeping with me and then followed it up by casually mentioning the idea of doing so with one of my friends.

The thought stings a bit, so I shove it aside and get to work moving boxes.

I’m down there for two hours, tidying the place up. When I’m done, the closet is ten times more organized than it was when I found it. Madison can hardly believe her eyes when she comes down to see it. Eli’s with her, and I could hear them talking and laughing out in the hall. Apparently, they’re good friends, not just work colleagues, and I wonder why in the world he hasn’t tried dating her—or maybe he has? Maybe he’s stuck in the friend zone?

Madison steps inside and spins in a circle with her arms outstretched. “Oh my gosh, Ben! You’re amazing! There’s so much room in here now!”

Eli swoops in and grabs her hands, spinning her around and around. I watch from the doorway, curious about their friendship. They seem so comfortable with one another. He wraps one arm around her back then dips her low and she goes with it, trusting him completely. Her dress slides up her creamy thigh just enough to catch my attention, but then he yanks her back up to stand and they switch.

“Okay, do me! Do me!” Eli says, forcing her arm around his back.

I chuckle then, wondering if he might not be interested in Madison the same way I am.

“Eli and his boyfriend have been taking ballroom dancing lessons,” Madison explains to me over her shoulder.

“I’m better at it than he is,” he confirms proudly.

“Is that one of the things on your list? Dance lessons?” I ask, watching Madison as she’s forced to use both of her arms to pick Eli back up from his courageous dip. His head nearly collided with the ground.

Eli glances between us with a frown as he straightens his shirt. “What list?”

Madison clears her throat and waves her hand. “Oh, I just gave Ben a list of things to do on his first day of volunteering—clean up down here, reorganize the shelves, that kind of thing.” She turns to me and her voice takes on a joking lilt. “Ha ha, no, Ben. No dancing is required of library volunteers.”

Her lie further confirms my suspicion—I really am her only confidant. Not even Eli knows what she’s up to. He nods, buying the terrible lie, but when Madison looks my way again, I arch a brow.

Her cheeks burn red before she looks away.

I like knowing her secrets.

I like seeing how flustered she is now, scared I’ll reveal everything. I won’t, of course, because where’s the fun in that?

We stay down there for a little while. I ask how long they’ve been friends and learn they both sought out jobs at the library right after college. Eli says Madison is great with the kids, patient and enthusiastic. She beams under his praise and then waves it off. “Anyone would do the same. It really is a fun job.”

No, not everyone would do the same.

“So you’ll be with us for the next few weeks, Ben?” Eli asks, giving me a quick once-over.

I nod. “Just until I fulfill my community service requirement.”

“Ben’s a hardened criminal,” Madison quips. “Didn’t you know?”

Eli feigns a damsel-in-distress faint. “As if you weren’t making us all suffer enough already.”

I smile and catch Madison’s gaze on me. She’s been studying me, stealing glances when she doesn’t think I notice. The fact that I’ve caught her sends her into a near tailspin.

“Right, well, the library is closing soon and I still need to go finish a few things,” she says, making a move to exit the room.

I step into her path and glance down at the top of her head. Good thing I don’t have any plans to kiss her because if I did, she’d need a step ladder.

“So we’re still on for tonight?”

She doesn’t meet my eyes as she nods, confirming she’ll be at the party.

I don’t actually think she’ll show.





“I need you on wingman duty tonight,” Andy says, rubbing his hands together like he’s got a plan. “I’m finally gonna go for it with Arianna. I’m not fully convinced she’s into me, into me, but I have it figured out. I just need you to stand there and not say a word. I mean, truly don’t say a word. Act like a bump on a log, and that’ll give me the chance to charm her with my witty conversation skills.”