Magical Midlife Madness (Leveling Up #1)(19)

“All he has to do is scoop one up when he’s ready,” she said, glancing around. Her voice reduced to a mutter. “Sure wish it were that easy for me. I might have ta club someone over the head at the end of the night to drag him home.”

I froze with my eyebrows up, eyes wide, and a giddy smile pulled down at the corners. It was my did she just say what I think she said??? look.

I let the laughter bubble out. “Get it, gurl.” I put up a fist for a bump.

She frowned at my hand. “What?”

“She’s sexually dangerous, not hip to the lingo,” Austin said, grinning again, and pushed away from the bar. “And it seems not every woman is looking.”

“Are you talking about her?” I hooked a thumb at Niamh. “Because I definitely looked. I thought it was ridiculous, but I looked.”

His grin finally turned up into a full-fledged smile, his eyes glittering like a disco ball. It boosted his handsomeness ten-fold. The guy was incredibly hot.

“Touché,” he said, not at all phased by my comment, and moved down the bar.

Niamh leaned toward me and murmured, “You didn’t think it was at all ridiculous, sure you didn’t.”

“I was too busy drooling to think much of anything.”

She huffed out a soft laugh and straightened up. “I do appreciate the view. He’d be too energetic for me, but I do appreciate the view. Now, tell me, how much do you remember of your first trip to Ivy House?”





Seven





After talking about all the things I remembered from my first time to Ivy House, Niamh proved to be most excellent at small talk, something that had been sorely lacking on our trip to the bar. She chatted about all things and nothing, her colorful takes on events and her brash descriptions making me laugh more often than not, even when she wasn’t trying. People came by to greet her throughout the night, met me, stared blankly for a moment, and moved on. I wasn’t the most popular new addition.

“How long do I have to be here for them to stop thinking of me as a Jane?” I finally asked as the fifth person in a row left without even offering an excuse. They’d all essentially pivoted away the second they learned who I was and why I was here.

“Just hang around for a while. These people don’t like change.” Niamh finished off her…well, I’d lost count. She’d drunk me under the table and then some. Hell, she’d probably drunk the whole bar under the table. Combined. “They’ve been here for ages and things have mostly stayed the same. Now they have to fit a new face into their list of friendlies. Given most of them are block-headed dopes, this might take a while. Be patient.”

“Patience is one virtue I was never blessed with.”

“Then you’d better invest in mass quantities of alcohol and a good party trick.”

I laughed and the wine buzzed within my head pleasantly, most of the bottle gone. I swayed on the stool. Then swayed back.

Austin’s voice boomed out over the bar. “Last call!”

“Oh thank God.” I leaned heavily against the edge. “I can’t take much more.”

“You need to work on your tolerance. You’re pitiful,” Niamh said, reaching over me for the wine bottle.

“No, no!” I held up my hand. “No, no. I’m good. I’m done. I have to get home at some point.”

“Ah go on. Sure look, you’re almost there. Just a wee drop left. Go on, might as well.” She upended the remainder of the bottle into my glass.

I’d tried to go home three times by this point. Each time the window had eluded me, mostly because Niamh kept refilling my glass before I could get my bill. I was beginning to realize that if I wanted to make a clean getaway, I needed to move much faster.

I closed an eye to look at the empty bottle. It was not the same bottle of wine I had started with, although it had luckily been halfway empty by the time it was put in front of me. It could’ve even been the bottle I had poo-poo’ed earlier. The good news was, I no longer tasted it. Bad news was, cheap wine gave fierce headaches, and tomorrow would be no fun.

“I thought I was good at this. I’ve had a lot of practice.” I blew out a breath, and if that breath had been directed at a candle, the flames would’ve burned the whole place down.

“Not enough practice,” Niamh said as people drifted or staggered out of the bar.

“I need to go.” I took a sip of the wine, swayed, caught myself. I ran the back of my hand across my mouth.

“Finish up. Time to get out,” Austin said, his deep voice filling up all available space.

A moment later, I heard, “You ready to go?”

I jumped and turned at the same time. How had he gotten behind me?

That’s when I noticed the mostly empty bar. Only a few stragglers were left, finishing their last drops. Time had slipped away from me. Paul was rinsing beer mats.

“I’m good. Honest.” I pinched the stem of the glass, intending to push it away. Miraculously, it ended up against my lips. I finished the sip-turned-gulp I did not need. “I’ll do it.”

“Do what? Get lost or fall on your face?” he asked with a wry grin.

“I never fall on my face. On my butt, yes. My side, sure. Down some steps and onto my back? That has happened, yes. But never on my face. I”—I raised my finger—“am a professional.”