Love in the Vineyard (Tavonesi #7)(91)

His nervousness was contagious. She wished she didn’t fear the path ahead, the path that his words were traveling. She knew the power of a shut-down heart.

“I have always believed that wealth doesn’t truly belong to any single person. Those who have resources have a responsibility. And though my viewpoint is often unpopular in many circles, I believe—no, I know—that wealth is a contract with society, with the world. And when I came here I saw that I could finally make good on that contract. Give back where it counted and share what was bestowed on me in ways that could be meaningful, that improved lives and built strengths. But in my drive to fight back my shadows and feel worthy of such unearned blessings, I let my guilt blind me, make me desperate. And then you came along and cracked open my carefully crafted, carefully guarded world. I wanted to be worthy of you. I acted rashly. Thoughtlessly.”

She opened her mouth to protest, to say that she had played a role in the tragedy he was spinning, but he held up his hand.

“Please, I’m trying to stay on track with my apology. I was very wrong for not respecting your boundaries. For making a choice for you rather than consulting you.” He took her hand and ran his thumb over the back of it and then squeezed it in his fingers. Her pulse skittered in her chest as a smile curved into his lips. “But I was right about your capabilities and about your potential. I have such faith in you, Natasha. I can only see the sky as… the sky as a limit for you. Is that the phrase?”

Her pulse pounded as she watched him struggle for words.

“The sky’s the limit,” she said softly, offering him the words and blushing at his meaning.

“Yes, I see you in a vast sky.” He took her other hand in his and faced her with a solemn look, as if he were fighting back forces she couldn’t see. “I want you to be part of my life, of my horizon and beyond. Oh, my damned English! I want… To hell with it. I love you, Natasha. And I want to do this.”

Hunger flared as his lips crushed hers. No one but Adrian would ever sate the passion he’d awakened.

“Your English is devastating,” she said with a nervous laugh as he broke off the kiss.

“I had to do something to get your attention.”

He had. He’d told her he loved her. She didn’t imagine that he’d do that for every employee.

“You had me with the kiss.”

Their next kiss devastated her defenses.

“I want to do so much more than kiss you,” he said as he bent down and lifted her into his arms.

His heart beat against her cheek, keeping pace with her galloping thoughts. He wanted her to be part of his horizon, he’d said. Maybe she could live with having just a part of him. The way she craved him, maybe she didn’t have much choice.





Adrian carried her into the apartment. His swift kick at the door she’d left open closed it behind them. He glanced around her living space. No couch.

“Bedroom,” she said, already undoing the buttons on his shirt. “To the right.”

In the bedroom, he set her on her feet.

“I want you in my life, Natasha. You and Tyler. I want a future with you as well as a now.”

She backed away from him and put her palms to her face.

“I—” He what? He cursed his timing. What else could he say? Nothing was happening as he’d imagined. As he’d hoped. Sure, they were in her bedroom, but he didn’t only want to be in her bedroom, he wanted to be in her soul.

When she lowered her hands, he saw tears in her eyes. His heart sank when he saw the anguish there. He was too late.

“Adrian…”

“No, Natasha, you don’t have to say it. I have eyes. I can see.”

He wasn’t going to force her to tell him what he could already see in her face.

She narrowed her eyes. “Oh no, not again. This time I will say what I need to say. And you will listen.”

“I’m listening.” He dreaded her words.

“I once told you that all my life I’ve been afraid of my past,” she said, surprising him.

She walked to the window and then spun on her heel to face him.

“But now I know that I had to face my fears so I could put them behind me. Let myself feel the terror and then move on. I don’t believe the past determines the future anymore. I agree with you; now I believe our dreams determine the future far more than the past could ever do.”

He resisted the urge to take her in his arms, to stop the flow of words with a kiss that didn’t want to wait.

“You showed me that I wasn’t broken, Adrian. You helped me not to despise my faults.” She crossed her arms and held her elbows. “You helped me to find the strength to do that. Everything you did bolstered me so I could take steps I never could before. You helped—”

“You did that, not me. You showed that to yourself.”

“Do Italians always interrupt like this?”

“Okay.” He crossed his arms, mirroring her stance. “I’m listening, Tasha.”

“Can’t you for once accept thanks without sloughing it off? What is it about you that runs and deflects when people try to thank you?”

“I…” He searched for the words. His father had said he ran from happiness. Well, he wasn’t going to run now. “It’s just that I—”