Love Your Life(116)

    “She’s got a point,” he says, looking up as I approach. “Life is a shitshow. But I wouldn’t change it.”

“Do you mean your life? Or mine?” I raise my chin teasingly. “Because my life is not a shitshow, thank you. My life is wonderfully under control.”

“I meant both,” he says, smiling.

“Both our lives are shitshows?”

“Not our lives. Our life.” He hesitates, his eyes questioning. “Our…one joint life.”

Our one joint life. As the words float in the air, I feel a little tingle, because that sounds almost like…Almost like…

“Our one joint shitshow life.” I roll my eyes. “Sounds great. Where do I sign up?”

Matt’s face crinkles in amusement.

“Sorry, should have been clearer. I meant…” He thinks for a moment. “I meant our one joint shitshow, hopeless, hopeful, messy, exhilarating life. With ice cream in the interval.”

“OK,” I say. “Now I get it. Sounds good. The ice cream does, anyway.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He takes hold of my hand, low down, where no one can see, and his thumb rubs gently against my skin. Not wanting to be left out, Harold trots over to rub against our legs, and we both instinctively reach down to pet him.

    “It’s twenty percent off!” Sarika is exclaiming to Sam, so indignantly that I can’t help laughing. Nell and Topher are now having a disagreement about the gig economy, and Nihal is sketching something, nodding politely as Maud makes suggestions. Harold is at my feet. And Matt is by my side. What more could I ever want?

I clasp his hand more firmly and breathe out sharply, listening to the voices, watching the faces. Wanting to save this precious-but-ordinary moment forever.

I don’t know where we’ll go from here, but right now I don’t care. Because I’m here with everything that matters. Our friends. Our loves. Our life.