Love Your Life(114)

He looked so touched, it was kind of unbearable. Elsa glanced at me and I stared rigidly up at the ceiling, and at last she said, “Oh, yes. Yes. I thought…” She cleared her throat. “I thought, time for a change. We should all be represented. All the family.”

That’s the only time it’s ever been referred to. But whenever we’ve been back to the house, Matt’s lingered in the hall, and I’ve seen him looking at the cabinet and I’ve felt…content. That’s the word. Content.

“Never mind all that!” says Sarika impatiently. “Naked-sauna story!”

“OK!” I take a swig of champagne. “Fine! Here goes. So, as you all know, I was pretty determined about this naked sauna. I was going to own it. I was going to be body confident.”

“Had you waxed?” puts in Sarika.

“Of course I’d waxed! I had a whole plan. I was going to stride in there, stark naked and proud of it. You know? Proud of my body. Proud of being a woman. Proud of my weird veins.”

“You don’t have weird veins,” protests Maud at once.

“Oh, I do.” I turn to her. “Haven’t you seen them? They’re on my—”

“Stop it!” explodes Nell. “Tell us what happened!”

    “Did you see Matt’s dad’s whatsit?” says Maud with a giggle.

“Were you there, Matt?” Sarika swivels to him.

“No,” says Matt. “I got caught up on a call, so I missed it.” His mouth twitches. “Unfortunately.”

“OK.” I resume my story. “So, I was waiting for Matt to finish his call, but at last he told me to go without him. I got down there, and everyone was already in the sauna.”

“Who was, exactly?” demands Nell.

“Elsa, John, and two of their friends. So I got undressed in the changing room.”

“Down to nothing?” says Sarika to clarify.

“Down to nothing.” I nod. “I was pretty hyped up by this time.”

“I bet you were!” says Maud, wide-eyed.

“I even gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. I was like, ‘Ava, you can do this. You can be naked with your boyfriend’s parents. Be proud of your body.’ I had a towel, but I didn’t wrap it round myself, I just trailed it behind me. Then I went to the sauna and I swung the door open with this big flourish, you know, trying to look sassy even though I was totally naked….”

I shut my eyes, because the memory is just too embarrassing.

“And then what?” demands Maud.

“They were all wearing swimsuits.”

“Nooo!” Sarika explodes, and I see Sam choking on his drink. Maud looks speechless, and Nell is laughing so hard, she’s gone pink.

    “It was hideous!” I say. “They just looked at me and Elsa said, ‘You know, Ava, we have spare swimsuits for guests.’?”

“But why were they in swimsuits?” Nell looks almost accusingly at Matt.

“That’s what I said! Why? And Matt told me they’d worn them on purpose, to make me feel more comfortable.”

“I think my mum had told me she was planning to wear a swimsuit,” Matt says, with a guilty grin. “But I forgot to pass it on. Didn’t think it was such a big deal.”

“So what did you do, Ava?” asks Sarika, agog. “Did you sit down? Naked?”

“Yes, actually I did,” I say, lifting my chin.

“Bravo!” Nell applauds.

“I styled it out,” I say. “For eighteen seconds. And then I got up and ran.” I drain my champagne glass. “And now that I’ve totally embarrassed myself, I think I need another one of these. Let me get another bottle.”

My cheeks still flushed with embarrassment and laughter, I head to the kitchen and get a bottle of champagne out of the fridge, while simultaneously replying to Sarika’s WhatsApp of a bikini emoji. Ha ha. She’s so hilarious.

I’m still quite addicted to WhatsApp, if I’m honest. But Matt can talk! He’s in the big WhatsApp group with all of us, and he chats as much as anyone else.

Although I suppose, to be fair, he’s able to compartmentalize a bit better than I am. He can switch off his phone and attend to other things. The other night, Matt was trying to unbutton my shirt while I quickly argued a point with Nell (we disagreed about whether Maud should buy this dreadful car she was looking at). I was just trying to find a car-engine emoji when he flipped out. Before I could stop him, he had grabbed my phone and typed:

This is Matt. I would like to have sex with Ava. Could she stand down from the WhatsApp group for a while please?



Then, of course, a moment later the replies started coming in.

Sure!

Have fun, you two!

How long will you be? Just a ballpark?

Nell, you can’t ask them that!!!

Just did.



Followed by a million eggplant emojis.

I mean, it was quite funny. It was even quite hot, in a weird way.

“Ava.” Nihal interrupts my thoughts as he walks into the kitchen, a dreamy expression on his face. “I’ve been thinking about Harold. If not a robotic leg, what about a new means to communicate? He’s very bright. If we could harness his brain patterns somehow…”