Love Online(59)

“Sorry. There was a wait.”

“No worries. I still can’t believe you’re here.”

Mallory had given us space, choosing to sit with the others who’d already made it through the line and given their condolences.

My feelings were very revealing. I’d always told myself I was going to lose Ryder, that our lives were too different for things to work out. Yet at this moment, I felt completely sideswiped, devastated, like all of the hope had been sucked out of me—hope I didn’t even realize I’d been hanging on to. So maybe I had thought things might work out with us.

Until now. Now I was terrified of losing him, and my hands were tied. Bringing it up with him would have been an asshole move, given the circumstances.

“Have I told you how happy I am you’re here?” Ryder whispered in my ear before greeting yet another person in line.

I stood by his side for a while. At one point, Mallory approached us and hugged Ryder goodbye. Every second of that hug was painful for me.

Then she left, and I felt like I could breathe—for the time being.

The funeral director came by and told Ryder he’d closed the door to stop anyone else from coming in.

A half-hour later, the line finally came to an end.

Ryder grabbed me by the hand and led me out a side entrance, where a driver was waiting for us. It felt like we were jumping into a getaway car.

The second the car door closed, Ryder buried his face in my chest and started sobbing. It was the first time I’d seen him cry all night. He’d apparently been holding it in and waiting for this moment—when people were no longer watching him—to let it all out. My own tears fell as I held him, his shoulders shaking in my arms.

His crying eventually wound down into heavy breaths. He whispered over my skin, “Nothing and no one can make me feel better, but when you walked in, it was the first time I felt alive again.” Ryder softly kissed my neck. “How long can you stay?”

“I’ll be here for the funeral tomorrow. My flight is the next day.”

“So, who exactly is taking care of Ollie? You said a friend?”

“My friend Camille. She offered. She works with me at Ellerby’s.”

“Is she responsible?”

I smiled at his concern. “Yes. She watched him once before.”

“Whoever she is, remind me to give her a big kiss for allowing you to come to L.A. I could never repay her for letting me have you right now.”

“I’m so glad you wanted me here.”

He once again brought me closer to him. “How could I not want you here?”

“I just wasn’t sure if it would be…too much.”

“There’s only one thing I need tonight, Eden.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to take a hot shower with you, bury myself inside of you, and forget about everything else. You’re all I need.”

For the time being, hearing that was all I needed.

“We can do that.” I held him tighter. “Are you okay?”

Seemed like a dumb question, considering the circumstances, but it escaped my lips before I thought better of it.

“No,” he answered. “It’s gonna be a while before I am. It still hasn’t sunk in.”

“I know.”

“But I’m the best I could possibly be right now with you here.” He straightened up to look at me. “I know you’re probably wondering why Mallory was with me when you arrived.”

You don’t know the half of it.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“Fuck yes, I owe you an explanation.” His tone was insistent. “She showed up at my house out of the blue this afternoon before the wake. She was close to my dad. I hadn’t even told her about his death. I figured she’d find out because it was all over the media. She said she wanted to support me tonight. Honestly, I didn’t have the energy to question anything.” He paused. “She also told me she broke off her engagement, but we didn’t have any time to talk about it. To be honest, having her here was really stressing me out. Then you showed up, and I stopped thinking about it.”

I was happy he was being honest. And I was tempted to confess what she’d told me in the bathroom, but opted not to. I’d be damned if I spent the short time I had with him talking about his ex-girlfriend, who apparently wanted him back. If he knew she still loved him, would he feel differently about her? That question would silently haunt me. My stomach was in knots pondering that, but I’d come all this way to be with him. I wasn’t going to let anyone take this time away from us.

The driver interrupted my thoughts. “Here we are.”

We exited the car, and I looked up at the massive structure that was apparently Ryder’s house.

All I could think was: holy shit.





CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE




* * *





EDEN




It was a place like I’d only seen in the movies.

Surrounded by lush, landscaped grounds and a large, wrought-iron gate, Ryder’s house was breathtaking.

After we entered the tall, dramatic front doors, my shoes echoed as I walked along the marble floors in the entryway.

I’m not in Utah anymore.