Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(38)
“Because you love me and you needed an escape.”
“Ah yeah. I do need it.”
“How are things with Matt?”
“We kissed.” I smile to myself.
“You finally did?” she asks, close to bursting with excitement.
“Yeah, tonight.”
“Who started it?”
“He brushed his lips against mine and then was ready to leave when I stopped him and kissed him. He’s going on vacation too so I won’t see him for a week. I had to give it a try and know.”
“Know what?” she presses.
“Know if it would feel right and if what I felt for him was just curiosity or if I actually felt anything for him.”
“And…”
“Yes, it felt right, and yes, I feel something for him.”
“That’s awesome!” she squeals.
“Is it?”
“Yeah! You can finally be with someone you actually have feelings for and be happy.”
“I hope so.” I rub my face.
“I know so. Don’t be a *, and grow a pair. You love him, he loves you, just be together already.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why not?” she sounds confused.
“I asked him to come in tonight for a drink, and he used the excuse that we’d end up spending all night awake and that he didn’t want to press me into trying something I wasn’t ready for.”
“Uh, newsflash, that’s just him being mindful of how you feel and not wanting to press you to actually f*ck when you’re not ready. Not many men would be like that. They’d just try their luck.”
“I guess you’re right. It’s all new to me. I’m usually the one in charge. It’s a weird change.”
“You’ll find your place with him. It’ll all come in due time. Don’t worry.”
“I hope so.
“I know so. Now get some rest. You have a long flight tomorrow, and then we have to party!”
“Fuck me,” I groan.
“Call Matt for that.” She giggles and hangs up on me.
My sister is crazy, but I love her. Even though I’m slightly scared for my sanity with spending a few days with her and her friends, I’m so grateful that she’s accepting me the way I am and not judging me for my choices.
I’m about to put my phone on mute until tomorrow when I feel it buzz in my hands. I check it, and it’s a message from MattTheGod. I chuckle to myself and open it.
MattTheGod: Amazing show and inspiration to masturbate you gave me, babe. Better than porn.
TattooedSoldier81: What do you mean?
MattTheGod: I heard you in the shower :)
TattooedSoldier81: Oh great, just my luck!
MattTheGod: Don’t be embarrassed, babe, I did the same. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve been masturbating, thinking about you for the past few months.
TattooedSoldier81: Really? Why? Why haven’t you said anything?
MattTheGod: Yes, really. Because you’re hot, and I like you. I haven’t said a thing because I wasn’t sure if you would be ready or not.
TattooedSoldier81: Fair enough, I’ve been masturbating thinking about you too. You drive me insane. I want to do things I never thought I would before.
MattTheGod: Next week when I come back. I made you a promise. I always keep my promises.
TattooedSoldier81: I’m looking forward to it.
MattTheGod: Me too, babe. I have to get some sleep. Have a good night, and see you in a week.
TattoedSoldier81: See you in a week. Goodnight, babe.
MattTheGod: Goodnight, babe.
The upcoming week is going to be so long. I never expected to feel this way after just one kiss and want more, need more, and now I have to wait a week. Just my f*cking luck.
May 5, 2016
Thursday
I never thought Nate would be the one to take the lead and kiss the shit out of me. That has to be hands down the best kiss I’ve ever had. I don’t know if it’s because it’s with someone I’m quickly developing feelings for and if it was just meant to be, or because it was Nate’s first kiss and we both took it slow. Either way, it was f*cking mind-blowing.
And to top it all off, hearing him masturbate in the shower and moan my name as he came, that sent me over the edge. I barely had to touch myself before I came hard. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a powerful orgasm.
I intend to keep my promise when I come back from Hawaii. I want Nate. I need him. I need to taste him and know how he feels.
I’m getting hard just thinking about it and right now, I’m not in the position or place to get a hard on.
I’m going through security at the airport to be on my merry way to Hawaii. A part of me is excited to go. I mean a week of fun, parties, and wedding of my two best friends; what more could someone ask for, right? The other part of me wants to stay behind and get to know Nate more, in and out of bed, but mostly in. I want to find out what he likes, how he likes it, how he’ll respond to my touch, to my kisses. Will he enjoy me sucking him? Will it get him hard or will he freak out? Will he want to suck me? Will he let me f*ck him or just want to f*ck me? I can’t wait until the day we get to explore together.
A part of me wishes I had said yes to going in last night and see how things could have gone, but I wasn’t ready. Not because I’m questioning how I feel, but because I knew I wouldn’t have been able to leave today. I would have wanted more, and I would have felt shit either way. If I left him, I’d feel bad, but if I stayed I’d feel bad for missing Haven and Spencer’s wedding. There was no winning, so I took the chicken way out and said no. I was shocked at myself for sticking to it, especially when I heard him masturbating. I wish I could have seen it. That’s such a turn on to see someone masturbate and to masturbate yourself, without touching each other. It’s so hot and such an intimate thing to do together.