Losing Me, Finding You(77)

“I think it's hot,” I whisper and Austin grins, meeting my eyes, searing me with heat, blinding me with feelings I haven't yet fully sorted out but that I intend to work on – even if it takes decades. I smile and he smiles back.

“Good, because, sugar, when I said you were mine, I meant it.”

“So did I.”

We grin at each other and then I watch with my pulse thumping like a wild thing while Austin climbs off the bike and tucks his helmet under his arm, turning to face the Triple M'ers who are waiting patiently to hear whatever it is he's going to say. I think somehow, someway, we all just sort of assumed Austin was the new president.

He doesn't argue the point.

“I'm sorry to say that Kent is no longer with Triple M.” Austin pauses and rubs at the stubble that's decorating his jaw. He doesn't say whether the man is dead or alive. I'm not sure if he even knows himself. I suppose I don't either. I shiver, but I don't think about it anymore than that. Whatever happened, happened. The universe is in control now, and I hate to say it, but the world minus one of those horrible men (especially Walker or Kent) might actually be a better place. “Shit went down and bad things happened.” He shrugs. “But we keep on keepin' on because that's what we do, that's what our group has always done. We've always been here to pull each other's fat out of the fire, and I intend to keep it that way.” He pauses just long enough for Beck to jump in with a wicked smile and a wink.

“So, Pres, where to?”

Austin thinks about that for a moment.

“Well, I figure it's been awhile since we hit the coast, and I think we could all use a vacation.” He watches my face for a moment and his smile turns into a grin. “But first we've gotta go pick up a friend of Amy's.”

“And then what?” Gaine asks quietly, and I swear the entire garage goes silent just to hear what Austin is going to say. He keeps his eyes on mine the whole time, locking me into him, turning my body molten, so that I feel like I'm melding with him, sinking into the leather of his jacket and finding his heart.

“Then,” he says. “We go wherever the wind takes us.”





If you enjoyed this, try the Never say Never Series.


Excerpt Included!


1


Rick is a perfectly nice guy.

But not for me.

Rick is the kind of guy you can take home to your family, show off, and know that at the end of the day, he'll be there for you. I'm not into guys like Rick. I should be, but I'm not. I think there's something wrong with me. I need a guy like Rick to put me on the straight and narrow, to help me stop doing the things I shouldn't be doing and start doing the things I should.

Right now, my back is to a wall and I'm kissing the neck of a guy I don't know. My therapist says it's because I have 'daddy' issues. Like that's supposed to mean something to me. How can I have daddy issues when I barely knew the prick? He didn't walk out on me and mom like my therapist thinks. She thinks that because I've never told her the truth. My dad died right in front of my eyes, called out my name seconds before the light went out of his face and left him cold. That's all I remember about him. Other than that, my mind is a blank, a series of shadowy pictures without words. They don't make any f*cking sense.

The guy I'm kissing unbuttons his pants. I think about telling him to use a condom, but I just don't feel like it. I'm on the pill anyway. He thrusts into me while I'm watching Rick through a crack in the door. He's drinking punch, not alcohol, and smiling with big, wide teeth in a face that's handsome, but not too handsome. Rick's the kind of guy that your friends compliment you on, tell you he's gorgeous, but they never try to sleep with him. The ones they really want, the dangerous ones, the ones with pasts that burn like fire and melt everything around them … Those are the guys that I always seem to fall for. The one I'm having sex with right now is one of those. I don't even know his name.

“I love you,” the guy says over and over, and I roll my eyes. I've heard it before, a hundred times, and I just don't want to hear it anymore. I pretend to have an orgasm, moaning and groaning and scratching his back, and all the while, I'm watching Rick. We have a date tomorrow night that I think I'm going to cancel. I thought maybe I'd take Rick out, see how chivalrous he really was, but tonight, he's wearing khaki pants and a red sweater. I don't date guys like Rick.

The guy I'm f*cking finishes and tells me how great I am. Then he disappears and I don't see him again, not that night or any other. I light a cigarette and leave the room before any of the drunken idiots at the party stumble in and find me there with my panties around my ankles. I step out of them and stuff them in my pocket, aware that my skirt is too short and that my ass is hanging out. I just can't seem to find it in myself to care.

“Hey,” Rick says, intercepting me before I can reach the front door. “We still on for tomorrow night?” He looks me up and down, and I can see that he's curious about my disheveled appearance, my mussy hair and my swollen lips, but he doesn't ask about it. I don't think he even gives it a second thought. Rick doesn't know that girls like me exist. He's heard about them on TV, maybe even masturbates to them, but he doesn't really believe that they exist in this world or any other. I really should keep my date with Rick, go out with him, and grow up.