Losing Me, Finding You(66)

“Well,” I tell him, glancing over and wishing he wasn't all bruised up. Seems like all my friends are hurtin' because of me. “You were right.” I point at him when he starts to grin. “But if you tell another soul, I swear on my life, I will kick you in the Goddamn balls.”

“She's the one, isn't she?” Gaine asks, and I roll my eyes. I don't buy into that fairytale shit.

“She's something, Gaine. I just don't know what that is yet.” He grabs my arm and stops me before I can get within hearing distance of Kent and Melissa. When I look at his face this time, it's all seriousness and hard, hard choices. What the hell is going on?

“That's not what I wanted to talk to you about, Austin. It's about – ”

“Well,” Kent says, appearing from out of f*cking nowhere like he always does. There are no shadows around, but maybe since the air is so damn gloomy, the bitch can just materialize from anyplace in this stupid one-horse town. “While you two ladies were busy gossiping, I hopped on my phone and found us some places to stay.”

“Places?” I ask, turning to Kent with a raised brow. Gaine just stands there quietly and scowls. “You mean, as in separate hotels?” The pale wraith of a man shrugs and doesn't look all that concerned. I point out that our group hasn't split up like that in almost three years and how bad it might be if Bested by Crows were to come into town and find us scattered.

“It's that,” Kent begins as Melissa moves up to join us. She looks even less like herself today, paler, less flirty. Plus, she's not wearing a lick of makeup. I can't ever remember seeing her like that before. “Or go somewhere else.” He levels me with a stare that says that isn't a f*cking option. Now that Kent knows how big this deal is, he isn't going to let us back out of it. I glance away and focus on Amy straddling my bike. She's got a book in her hand already. Where it came from, I'm not sure, but as I watch her, she tucks a strand of hair behind one ear and gives me another rager. Goddamn it. I don't make any move to hide it. If Kent or Gaine has a problem with my hard-on, they can go f*ck themselves. “That's what I thought. There's a small inn on the south side of town were we can host a good portion of the group, whoever it is that isn't … ” Kent pauses and gives Gaine a sour look. “Participating in any business activities would best be housed there. Across the street, there's a motel for another group and just down the block from here.” Kent points his spindly finger back towards the direction we rolled into town. “Is a bed and breakfast where you're going to stay.” He pauses and pretends to think for a moment, but I already know what he's going to say. “It's a big, old, rambling house with a porch swing and,” Kent pauses to throw a sickly smile my way. “It's right across the street from the Fort Clinton National Bank.”



Chapter 46

Austin doesn't seem all that happy when he walks back to the motorcycle and gives me a tight-lipped smile, but I'm ecstatic when I find out we're staying in a small bed and breakfast that's housed in a building more than a decade old. It's got enough character to give Sali Bend a run for her money, and a clawfoot tub in the bathroom that I can already imagine Austin and I sitting in together.

If I ever see him again, that is.

He disappears as soon as we check in, leaving with Kimmi and moving down the hallway like there's a cloud hanging over his head. I watch him go and wonder for the millionth time what he's up to. I'm leaning against the doorway to our room (which is quite beautiful incidentally) when Mireya walks by and notices me staring at Austin's head as it bobs down the stairs and out of sight, followed close behind my Kimmi's red-orange waves.

“I wouldn't be surprised if he was banging her, too,” Mireya drawls as she slinks past me, duffel bag slung over one of her shoulders. I stare at her and am glad to see that for every bruise I've got on, she has at least one to match.

“Why do you say that?” I ask her, not wanting to play into whatever game she's trying to trick me into, but unable to resist the niggling memories of Kimmi touching Austin's arm, whispering in his ear, touching his … his crotch. Maybe he thinks I didn't see him when he was stalking through the lounge towards me and Gaine, but I did.

Mireya shrugs and scoops some of her black hair back with her fingers.

“Because he's never once told me what he does or where he's going, not once. In a decade.” Mireya emphasizes the word, just so I can't forget for even a single moment who was here first, who has more history, more stake in this claim. Still, possession is nine-tenths of the law, and I'm the one who has Austin now. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

“Never?” I ask, wondering if I could live with that, if I could watch him disappear everyday and not know what he was doing or where he was going. I was laboring under the idea that he would tell me sooner or later. My stomach flip-flops and I feel sick.

“Never,” Mireya says, and then she moves off down the hallway and slams her door behind her. I wait for awhile hoping I'll see Gaine or Beck walk by, so I can have someone to talk to, but I don't see anyone else. As far as I could tell, there are only a few of us staying here: Austin, Mireya, Kimmi, a girl named Margot, Kent and Melissa, and of course, me. I wonder how we were chosen or if there was some sort of lottery or something that I don't know about. The inner workings of Triple M are still a complete mystery. I mean, I've only just now figured out that the phrase flying one's colors means wearing your jacket or vest with the patches on it. I wish someone were around to fill me in. No, no, not someone. Austin. I wish Austin were around.