London Falling (Falling #2)(32)
Chapter - 8
“Still sulking, I see.” Tripp tugged on my pony tail and sat in the chaise behind me. I twirled around in my office chair, knees tight to my chest, his huge sweatshirt covered me and my legs like a sleeping bag.
“I’m not sulking. I’m thinking.” I tipped my chin up to prove I was perfectly centered.
His eyes assessed me. The moment he saw through my bravado his lips tipped up at one corner. “Yeah, thinking about the sexy Mr. Bond and how you blew it last weekend?” he leaned back and unfolded his long frame onto the tiny chaise. “Why don’t you just call him?” he added for what seemed like the millionth time.
“You know why.” I threw ice cold daggers his way.
This was not the first time in the past week we’d had this particular conversation. My Englishman had been on the regular loop of conversation with my best friend. I could just stay at Dylan’s and avoid Tripp but I didn’t want to do that either.
The client, though sweet, wanted to jump me. Unfortunately, I’d made it perfectly clear in the first couple weeks that I was game for it. Now things were different. I’d changed. Anxiety now filled my head-space when I was at his apartment, giving me the desire to run off to my hideout. Not so lucky for me, I had my very own self-proclaimed six-foot three-inch therapist in residence.
“Bridge, this conversation is tiring.” He yawned for emphasis.
“Then stop bringing it up.”
“I would if you’d stop acting like the dog died!”
“We don’t even have a dog!”
“Exactly. Stop sulking and being down. You chose to ignore him all week. It’s up to you to change that.”
“I can’t!” I groaned, frustrated with the added dose of lying to myself.
“Give me one good reason why and I’ll never ask again.”
Tears swelled and blurred my vision. “You promised, Tripp,” I whispered. “You said we’d never get hurt again. We’d be there for each other…“ The few tears I’d tried to hold back slipped down my cheeks.
“Jesus, Bridge. What the f*ck?” He stood and wrapped me around him as he sat back on the chaise. “I had no idea this was so serious. Forget everything I said.” He took a breath and petted my hair. “I just want you to live a little. There’s nothing wrong with starting a relationship with a man other than me, you know?” His strong arms held me as I thought about his words. “We’ll always be there for one another and I will kill any man who harms you, but dating someone isn’t unusual. Having feelings for the opposite sex is okay. It really is.” The way he worded it made me feel he was convincing himself as much as me.
I laughed into his chest. “Since when did you get all feely-mick-feelerton? Feelings for the opposite sex?” I mocked him, making an ugly face and sticking out my tongue while rolling my eyes. “Really, Tripp?”
He grinned and kissed the edge of my mouth. “Really. According to my sponsor, it’s time for the both of us to make some changes. It starts with us relying on others now and again, and not just one another.” He pointed to his chest then mine.
“I think I read a book on that once,” I said dryly, with an eye roll.
“Be serious. We are completely co-dependent on one another. For everything.”
“But I trust you.” I bit my lip and grabbed a hunk of hair to twirl it around my index finger.
“And I you.” Tripp hugged me tight. “But it’s time we take baby steps. I’ll do it, if you will?”
“You’re not moving out are you?” I stared into his light eyes. There was something there I couldn’t get a good read on. Usually his emotions were all over the place and easy to identify.
Normally, I didn’t need the vocal answers to questions. I knew the answers in the emotions that poured off him. Right now, I felt…nothing. It scared the hell out of me. Heat rolled through me as I pondered the concept that I’d be alone. Without Tripp. Prickles of panic sneaked up my spine and sent gooseflesh to the outer edges of my skin, tickling and uncomfortable.
Tripp cupped my cheeks. “Baby steps, Bridge. Shit, relax, breathe for Christ’s sakes!” I let out a huge lungful of air I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “I don’t know how to start either,” he finally admitted.
That’s why I couldn’t feel anything. I took a deep breath in and out slowly. He honestly didn’t have any emotion tied to the concept of moving forward, moving on. Probably because for so long he believed he’d end up dead in the gutter like his bitch of a mother told him he would. And it actually could have happened had he not cleaned up his act and gotten off the drugs.
“Look, Bridge, I’m not asking you to make a life change here. God knows, I’d prefer to be the only man in your life. But, we know we have to let others in at some point. Now when you’ve got a sexy Mr. Bond of your very own, you might as well take advantage. Hell, if you don’t, I will!”
“I think that new sponsor is helping you.” I giggled and squeezed his hands.
He nodded, pulled me into a standing position and gave me one of his megawatt, model-bright smiles. “I think so, too. How about we go get your client and start filling his house with what he needs!”