London Falling (Falling #2)(29)

We all sat down. I held her hand, trying my best to put all the love and support possible in my touch. “Don’t ever mention Grant to me or my fiancé again. He’s liable to go insane. Hank is very protective of me and our child. I would hope you could support the decision I’ve made to marry and have his baby, Mother. So help me God…“ She choked back a sob. “…you’ll never see or know your grandchild.” She stood up abruptly, pulling my hand. “London, time to go.”

I nodded and grabbed my purse. Daddy stood and took ahold of Pen. “Darling, my darling Pen. I am through the moon over this news. You tell me where to be, what to wear and where to stand. I’ll happily do it.” She nodded, tears pooling in her eyes.

“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered as he hugged her.

“I love you, too. Both of you.” He let Pen go and embraced me. His long arms pulled me into the warmth of his chest. His essence washed over the situation, coating it with love.

“Me, too, Dad. Please talk some sense into her.” I tilted my head to our mother. She squinted. Her irritation clear in the tight way she held her shoulders and pinched her lips together.

“I always do,” Dad laughed.

Aspen and I made our way to the limo. Sadness flowed over me as I hugged her. She cried into my shoulder.

“Why can’t she be happy for me?”

I shook my head and petted her hair. It felt like the finest silk. “You can’t make someone happy who isn’t happy with themselves. She had a plan for you, me and Rio. Wanted you and me to marry some rich, pompous * and have the perfect three socialite kids. Just like she did. Remember how angry she was when she found out James and I were getting married?”

Aspen’s shoulder shook and I could tell her tears turned to laughter. Pregnancy hormones made normally calm people a bit wacky. “She was so angry. You’d just turned eighteen and James claimed he was marrying you and that was that.”

We both giggled as I thought back to that day. James had bought me a thin gold band. Like Hank, he didn’t come from a family with money. Love, but not money. We were both college bound and he wanted us married and living together, going to school and coming home to one another each day. At the time, it was everything I’d ever wanted.

James got down on one knee at an ice-cream parlor the day we graduated high-school. His brown hair had flopped over into his green eyes and he shook it off in that way that made my knees weak. Daddy paid for us to get married in a garden wedding on our estate, much to Mother’s chagrin. She pretended like a perfect actor that day. Daddy made certain she was on her best behavior. There were more people at our wedding that I hadn’t met than had. James and I didn’t care. As long as we had each other, nothing else mattered.

We barely finished college when the accident happened. I was twenty-two, a design school graduate and a widow. Without mother’s knowledge, Daddy paid for my schooling and ensured James had gotten scholarships approved from New York State University. Then it was all over.

Pen and I stayed silent, remembering James. “He was a light in a dark world, London.”

“Yes, he was. My light. It’s still hard to accept he’s gone.”

Aspen hugged me tighter and we both cleared our eyes of our tears. “But you’re moving on, right? Did you have a date with Nate’s brother Collier?”

Collier. I hadn’t seen the gorgeous Englishman in a week. Staying away from him had been harder than I expected. My body yearned for him, for his touch. But I fought it. Had to or he’d get hurt.

“We did. Had a great time, too, but it won’t work.”

She pulled her hair over her shoulder and threaded her fingers through the long blond strands. Her eyes met mine and I quickly looked away. “You had a great time but it won’t work? Why not?”

“Because,” I took a deep breath. “He just…I don’t know.” I shook my head.

“He what? Made you feel something?”

I nodded. “Yeah, too much.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, London. You are not an island. James would not want you to go through life alone.” Her tone was soft and pleading as she gripped my hand.

“I can’t,” I whispered.

“You can, and eventually you will. You don’t have to let your love for James go; but you can’t keep forcing people to stay at arm’s length. It’s unhealthy. It’s been four years now. Time to move on. Let someone in.” Aspen was not only big in business; she had a way of making sense, convincing others to follow her. It made her a great leader in all things.

I shook my head, clearing it, letting the idea of Collier and me float off into the sky. I rolled my eyes. “You’re saying that because you’re happy and in love. Everyone who’s found their soul mate feels that way, Pen. But I already had mine. You don’t get a second shot at it!”

“That is such bull.” Anger and concern seeped into her tone. “When it’s the right person, it will happen. You just wait. Please, just please promise me you’ll try. Let someone in…just a little?” Her gaze pierced mine, pleading and intense.

I wouldn’t back down, the decision had been made. She didn’t need to know that. “I’ll try.”

Images of Collier flashed across my mind. His chocolate brown eyes bored holes into mine as he hovered above me, filling me, completing me in ways I hadn’t wanted or expected.