Like a Memory(20)

I took the punch from her. I could lie but she would know. Momma knew everything. So, I was honest. “Nate Finlay is engaged to my boss.”

Mom’s eyes went wide. “The boy from that summer?”

I nodded. “Yep, the same.”

“Oh my,” she whispered and her frown matched mine. After all I had inherited it from her.

“Yeah, ‘oh my’ is right.”

“How long have you known?” she asked.

“Since the very first day at work. I didn’t think he remembered me. He pretended not to until this afternoon . . .”

Mom looked mad and interrupted. “Jerk. Goodness. That’s rude.”

I had to laugh. Momma was like talking to a friend. She listened and didn’t try to sugar coat it. We’d faced my cancer together. That made your bond stronger and I thought we were closer, as near to one another as could be.

“He wants to be friends,” I said.

She released a short laugh, as if that were ridiculous and I had to agree with her. At least she wasn’t telling me to give it a try, because my mom was honest and realistic. I loved that about her.

“He’s engaged. You can’t be friends. That’s impossible.”

I nodded.

“Does Eli know?”

I wasn’t sure why she asked that. There was no reason for Eli to know. He would just get overprotective and I wasn’t in the mood for that.

“No. He’ll worry.”

“He loves you.”

“I love him.”

Momma gave a sad smile. “I know.” I could tell by the look on her face she wanted to say more but she didn’t. Instead she took my hand and squeezed it. “One day you’ll know more.”

That didn’t make sense to me. Momma often said things that didn’t. Like she wanted me to figure life out on my own. I didn’t push for an explanation. Sometimes I did, but this time I didn’t, my gut telling me “you don’t want to know.” Right now I had enough to deal with. Like the fact that I knew being Nate Finlay’s friend was a terrible idea from the start. Yet, I was going to do it. Because if I didn’t, I would always wonder “what if it had just been a friendship? It could’ve been one like Eli’s.” I knew I was lying to myself. But cancer had taught me a lot. And the “what if’s” of this world were something I decided I never wanted to have. I wasn’t about to begin with Nate.



Nate Finlay

I WAS LATE coming into work because it had taken me three cups of coffee and about ten pep talks to get me out the damn door. Facing Bliss today wasn’t going to be easy. She hadn’t left me yesterday on a good note. She’d been hurt and angry.

When I opened the back door and heard the familiar voice of my youngest sister talking I froze. What the hell was Phoenix doing here? She was supposed to be in school. Last time I checked she was still a senior. Graduation wasn’t for two more weeks. Bliss laughed and I stalked toward their voices. I didn’t trust Phoenix not to say a bunch of shit she shouldn’t. The girl was an annoying loud mouth.

“ . . . and then we had to tell dad. Ophelia didn’t have enough money for bail . . .” Phoenix finished with her cup of coffee in hand as she gestured theatrically with her other. Both females began to laugh.

I’d never seen my sisters laugh with Octavia. She wasn’t much of a laugher herself. She thought my sisters were silly. I had to agree with her. However, seeing Phoenix so at ease with Bliss was nice. Too damn nice to be comfortable.

“Hate to break up the party but what the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school?”

Phoenix didn’t even jump at the sound of my voice. “Good to see you to big brother. Hope you’re doing well. Yes, I am wonderful. Ready for finals and oh, of course, I’m registered at Washington State.”

I rolled my eyes. This was how Phoenix got the subject off her and made you feel guilty in the process. It worked with most of my family. Not me. Never had.

“I didn’t ask about any of that shit. Why aren’t you in school? Why are you here?”

She turned her attention back to Bliss. “He’s rude. Always has been.”

Bliss softly giggled. This morning I arrived ready to convince her to be a friend to me. Why, I wasn’t sure, because it was probably a stupid idea. But I wanted it nonetheless, like asking to be punched again. And after hours of talking myself into acting, I arrive to find my freaking sister here. Screwing it up for me.

“I need to get back to the window display. I’ll leave you two to visit.” Bliss spoke, then stood, walking away and though I shouldn’t watch her walk, I did because I was a man.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Phoenix said, snapping my attention back to her.

“What?”

She smirked and looked at Bliss’s back then cut her eyes at me. “Please tell me that she,” Phoenix threw her chin at Bliss “has the ability to end this ridiculous relationship you have with Octavia.”

It wasn’t just my mom who didn’t care for Octavia. It was all the women in my life.

“Octavia’s been nothing but nice to you,” I reminded her. She had been nice to all of them.

“Nice, but uppity,” she replied. “There’s always a snarl beneath it.”