Life In Reverse(86)

MY UNUSUAL EPISODE on the Ferris wheel didn’t deter Riley in the least. Since then, he’s tested out one plane, two remote control helicopters, and a crazy light-up toy whose name I can’t recall. After being wowed by the dinosaur from Jurassic Park, he’s finally found his heaven in the superhero section. Ember and I follow behind as he browses up and down the aisle.

“That was so weird, what happened earlier.”

Ember gives me a sideways glance. “I think you had a panic attack.” She digs her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “I used to get them a lot after Zack died.”

I pick up a model of Superman to examine it before tucking it back on the shelf. “It’s never happened before though. I don’t have a fear of heights or anything.”

“It could’ve just been the swaying of the car.” She reaches up to tighten the band around her ponytail. “Kind of like motion sickness.”

“Unca Vance, Unca Vance!” Riley lets out a high-pitched squeal, his little feet scurrying along the floor. “Wook, it’s Mickey Mouse!” I glance up to find a massive display of Mickey Mouse in every size, shape, and variation. “I love Mickeeeeeeeey,” he sings, and my gaze swings to Ember, throat working on a soft swallow.

“Me too, buddy. Me too.”

Ember’s breath catches and her cheeks bloom pink. She turns away, making it impossible to get a handle on her feelings. Meanwhile, I jam my thumbs in my back pockets, struggling to control the urge to take her in my arms. To hold her until she tells me what I want to hear. Except that won’t get me anywhere. Besides, that other guy is in the picture and I don’t know where that leaves me. But I do know I have to go slow with her. I’m just having some difficulty with the execution.

She escapes behind the stuffed animals, eyes lingering on the Mickey Mouse key rings. Her finger rolls over each one, clinking metal against metal. Unable to keep my distance, I shuffle over to her until my front almost touches her back. She still smells like fresh peaches and I steal a moment to breathe her in. I haven’t been this close to her in so long, but it’s not close enough. Leaning in, I sweep her ponytail to the side, my fingers brushing her neck. “You should get one,” I whisper into her ear. “You know you want it.” She swallows, a slight shiver vibrating through her body.

“I don’t really need it,” she answers too quickly, stepping away from me and securing a safer spot next to Riley. “What do you think, Riley?” She rubs his head. “Which Mickey is calling you?”

“This one!” His voice bursts through the tension, making me chuckle.

“You had to pick the biggest one. Didn’t you, Riles? That thing is bigger than you.”

He peers up at me, hopeful, that big smile pushing all reason from my head. “Can I get it?”

I look to Ember and she shrugs, her lips bending as she tries not to laugh. “Okay, Riles. You can get that one.” He immediately pulls it down and twenty other Mickey’s fall in the process. “But you have to carry it,” I tease, as we bend down to pick up the stray stuffed animals and place them back on the shelf. “Okay,” I nudge Ember’s arm, “I’m thinking three and a half hours is good, right? I mean, we did our time here.” Riley is already off drooling at another display of toys and I’ve pretty much had my fill.

“I’ve got an idea.” She perches the last Mickey Mouse on the display. “You want to hear it?”

“If it helps us get out of here.” I wink. “Absolutely.”

She nods toward the escalator. “There’s ice cream downstairs, on the way out.”

“Ah, the lady knows a good bribe.” I call out for Riley and he spins around, disappearing behind giant black ears. “I’m going to pay for that and Ember will take you for ice cream. I’ll meet you guys down there, okay?”

“Ice cweeeeeeeeam,” Riley squeaks, his tongue dashing across his lips. He reluctantly lets go of Mickey, something I can relate to well, and takes Ember’s hand as the two of them ride the escalator to the first floor. I stare after them, trying not to read too much into how f*cking well this day has gone.

By the time I navigate the crowd and detour to the ice cream shop, Riley is running around, dark globs of chocolate smeared on his cheeks. “Chocowaaaaaaaate.” He giggles, sailing across the floor with his arms in the air.

A laugh bubbles up from Ember’s throat. I plop down next to her, giving Mickey Mouse his own chair. “Riley has this thing about exaggerated vowels.”

She glances over to Riley then back to me. “He’s adorable.”

“He’s a sweet kid.” My phone pings a text and I slide it from my pocket.



Chris: I’ve been roaming around this Godforsaken place for a half hour. Where ARE you?



I chuckle and type back.



Me: First floor, ice cream



Chris: Be there in a minute… hopefully



As I look up, I catch Ember peeking at my phone. “Chris is here. He’s been trying to find us and I don’t know why he didn’t text me when he got here.”

“Because he figured he could spot your big head a mile away.” Chris taunts from behind me, and Ember laughs. “Hi.” He strides to the table, offering her his hand. “You m-must be Ember. I’m Chris. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her lips tilt into an apprehensive smile. “Don’t worry. I never believe anything he says,” he throws in. I glare at him with a f*cking retort on the tip of my tongue when Riley hightails it over. He yanks Mickey Mouse’s hand to drag him off the chair.