Life In Reverse(56)

This day—I can’t decide if it’s a gift or a f*cking tease. I’d like to believe it’s the former. It has to be—given the way Ember makes me feel. The strange ticking inside my chest. How much she makes me want to laugh—want to smile—want to be present in every moment instead of worrying about what tomorrow will bring.

I’ve tried to stay away from her. To forget the sweet curve of her smile, the simple honesty in her eyes, the funny sound of her laugh. Maybe I need to try harder. Or maybe I should just give up the fight and let the chips fall where they may. Except I’m terrified of hurting her.

“Hey.” Her gravelly voice rescues me from my thoughts. “Where are we?”

I stroke my fingers down the side of her cheek. “We’re home, Mickey.”

She swipes a hand over one of her eyes. “Already?”

“You slept almost the entire way home.”

“Oh.” She slides her feet into her sneakers and lifts her shoulders in a stretch. “I didn’t realize how tired I was.” She squints at the clock on the dashboard. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Just after nine thirty.” Unlocking the doors, I hop out of the car and meet her on the passenger side. “Let’s go, sleepyhead.” I reach down, linking our fingers together. She lifts her eyes to mine with a warm smile.

Awkward silence falls over us as we near the porch. The dim light emanating from the lamppost refuses to hide my unease. I glance away and scuff my foot against the ground, stalling to gather my thoughts.

“I had a—”

We both say at the same time.

“You first.”

“I… this… oh f*ck.” I let out a nervous laugh and hope the f*cking pavement will swallow me whole. “Considering how many books I read, you’d think I’d be better with words.”

“I think you’re doing great.”

I look up to meet her reassuring smile and it gives me courage. “This was the best day I’ve had in, well, as long as I can remember.”

Her face brightens and she nods. “Me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She moves closer until she’s standing in front of me. I bring her hand up to my chest, my eyes drifting to her lips. Because like I thought, one kiss wasn’t enough.

“Good… that’s… really f*cking good.” I fumble, my gaze lingering on the sweet curve of her mouth.

“You love that word, don’t you?” she asks, her breath blowing softly against my chin. Her question throws me off and I tear my eyes away from her lips to meet her stare.

“What word?”

Ember’s nose wrinkles. “The F word.”

Her inability to say it makes me chuckle. “You mean f*ck?”

“Yeah.”

“I do. It’s a great word, really. I love how it can be used in so many different ways. Like a noun for example. As in, he doesn’t give a f*ck. Or an adverb, like, this book is really f*cking interesting. Or even as an adjective, like….” Sweeping my fingers through her hair, I let them slide down the side of her face and cradle her jaw. “You are so f*cking beautiful. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” Her green eyes glitter with what appear to be equal parts surprise and happiness, and her cheeks stain pink. I glide my thumb over the edge of her lip, anxious to taste her again. “That last one is true—”

She cuts me off with her lips, advancing on mine, soft, seeking. She kisses me slowly. It’s the sweetest f*cking kiss, sweeter than I’ve ever been kissed before. Filled with lips and tongue, meaning and desire—and something that makes my pulse rate spike. It makes me hard, too, but I think I could be happy just kissing her like this for a very long time.

She tastes like life.

Like truth.

Like tomorrows.

She makes me believe that maybe these things are possible for me.

A hunger shoots through me and I release her hand to snake my arms around her waist. My palm presses against the small of her back, urging her body closer as her warm tongue tangles with mine. Her peach scent is dizzying and it consumes me as I take control and deepen the kiss, plunging into her mouth. My hand travels up past her spine, her neck, slipping into her hair and tugging at the soft strands. She lets out a breathy moan as her fingers trail over my biceps and come up to frame my face. I shudder, startled by the effect her touch has on me. The way she holds me makes my heart beat way too fast and I don’t know if it’s fear or something else.

I ease out of her mouth, sucking on her lower lip before dropping my forehead against hers. Heavy breaths fall between us, and I don’t have to see her to know she’s smiling—I’m smiling too.

“Vance,” she breathes. “I should probably go in now, or else….”

I’d like the ‘or else’ option. But all that comes out is this one word. “Yeah.”

Reluctantly, I drop my arms and she backs away. “My friend Troy wants to hang out tomorrow night. Avery is going to be there, and I was thinking maybe….” She draws her lip between her teeth then lets it go. “Maybe you could come and bring Julian if he wants?”

“Absolutely.”

She blasts me with one last smile and I wait until she unlocks the door before heading to my car. I’m about to get in when her voice stops me. “Vance?”