Letters to Nowhere(65)

“Well, that’s the truth, isn’t it?”

He peeled his eyes from the road and looked at me for a second before picking up my hand and playing with my fingers. “That’s the truth for sure, but the truth is sometimes the hardest thing for people to believe.”

“Like it might be easier to believe that the coach’s son took advantage of an innocent young girl?” I asked.

Even in the dark I could see his jaw tighten. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“I’d never let that happen, Jordan.”

“I know.” He flashed me a grin. “And I really do need that list of all my potential screwups.”

“I’ll get right on that.” I relaxed back into the seat and closed my eyes. “That was a great first date. Really great.”

His fingers touched the back of my neck, rubbing it gently. “You look so tired. Want me to ask my dad to go a little easier on you?”

“Why? So I can look like a loser in Chicago? No way.”

He laughed. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

When we pulled into the town house complex parking lot, I could see a large figure sitting on the front steps. “Who—?” I started to say as Jordan cut the engine, eyes squinting into the dark.

“Tony,” he answered, letting out a frustrated breath.

“You don’t want to see him?” I asked, wondering if he’d had a fight with him or something or if my talking to Tony alone at that party last weekend bothered Jordan more than he let on. I grabbed his arm to stop him from getting out of the car. “Jordan?”

He turned to face me, looking distracted, his gaze darting sideways toward the front stoop. “Yeah?”

“I asked Tony to find out from his mom where my parents’ accident happened,” I blurted out before I could change my mind. “That’s what we were talking about at his house last weekend.”

Jordan looked completely bewildered, like he was processing too many things at once. “It’s not that. Tony’s just dealing with some shit at home and if he’s here at nearly midnight, it’s not a good sign.”

Now it was my turn to be surprised. “Oh, well, I’ll go hide out in my room so you guys can talk.”

Jordan nodded but didn’t say anything. And when we got close enough to really see Tony, his red–rimmed eyes were the first thing I noticed. I immediately squirmed, if only on the inside. It seemed out of place and awkward for a big guy like Tony to be crying.

Jordan just stepped around him and unlocked the door, letting me pass through first. “You staying over, man?”

“Yeah.”

Even though I wanted nothing to do with watching Tony shed another tear, I was still pretty curious about his drama. Not that I knew him all that well, but so far I had gotten the impression that he was one of those people who was happy all the time. Maybe it was girl drama? But Jordan had said he was dealing with stuff at home. Like family drama. Obviously recurring family drama, if Jordan already knew what was wrong.

Bentley sat on the couch, a stack of papers piled on the coffee table along with his laptop. “Tony,” he said, giving the big guy a nod. “Oh! Hey, Jordy, can you give me that formula again for the budget spreadsheet?”

Jordan turned around slowly, his eyebrows lifted. “You used my spreadsheet? Is it working?”

“Uh–huh,” Bentley said, hitting keys on his laptop. “Well, it was, until I accidently deleted a column.”

I almost smiled at the look on Jordan’s face, a cross between shock and pride. He sat down beside Bentley on the couch and pulled the laptop toward him.

Bentley paused to glance up at me and Tony. “There’s lasagna in the fridge from Mrs. Garrett if either of you are hungry.”

“Sweet!” Tony said, thumping across the wood floors toward the kitchen.

I left all of them alone to have their different bonding time and put on my PJs and got into bed. I could hear Jordan and Tony playing video games in the living room right before I fell asleep a little after midnight.


Jordan,




Here’s your list:




Potential Ways You Can Screw Up Jaren



Stop saying and doing things that make me like you more every day.

I’m not even sure #1 is applicable because I already like you enough to keep me going for a very long time.

I refuse to list any typical boyfriend screwups or human screwups in general (cheating, murder, becoming a sociopath, etc.…) because we are beyond that. Not that those things are forgivable, but I already know you well enough to know that you won’t do anything like that.

We really don’t need this list at all.





Love, Karen




P.S. Everybody screws up sometimes. Mistakes aren’t always deal–breakers.




P.P.S Did you tell Liberty you loved her? Have you ever told anyone that before?





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN





I woke up with a start, having felt and heard myself mumbling the same words over and over…don’t look at me, please don’t look at me… It was my dad’s rolling head again, and it wasn’t nearly as bad if I could keep myself from seeing the part where he opened his eyes and looked at me. When I finally talked my subconscious into moving over and letting my conscious brain take over, my alarm was buzzing loudly right in my ear, and Jordan and Bentley were standing in my bedroom doorway, looking more than a little concerned.