Letters to Nowhere(48)

I glanced at Jordan, narrowing my eyes. “You’re a coach?”

“At International Gymnastics camp,” he said. “Three summers in a row.”

I’d been to that camp twice myself, but not since I was ten. The coaches were pretty good there.

“One long exhale?” I repeated.

He nodded. “Try it. It’ll work.”

I stood in front of the low bar, ignoring the camera zooming in. Bentley absentmindedly rubbed his stomach where I had elbowed him three turns ago. I took a deep breath and jumped into my mount again. When it came time for the Jaeger, I allowed the air to release from my lungs as I swung and then let go of the bar at the end of my breath. I could feel it working in slow motion. I saw the bar for what felt like several seconds, though I knew it couldn’t have been that long. And when I caught it, Blair, Ellen, Jordan, and Stevie all cheered.

I was already smiling before my feet hit the ground. Bentley patted the top of my head. “Nice job, Karen! Very nice.”

I caught Jordan’s eye and mouthed “Thank you” to him. He gave me one of his famous half smiles. A girl from the level 5 team was currently holding on to Jordan’s hands, walking up his legs while he flipped her over.

Bentley gave me a nudge from behind. “Beam. Now.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” I said, still grinning.


Coach Bentley,




I am doing a layout Jaeger in Chicago, I don’t care what you say!




—Karen




P.S. thanks for letting me have one more chance



***

I wasn’t sure why it bugged me to all ends to see Stevie dressed in a short skirt and a cute top with her small–but–bigger–than–mine boobs accented by the V–neck while Jordan walked her and Blair around Tony’s house introducing her to everyone.

Several girls recognized Stevie from the televised Olympic trials where they had told her injury story over and over again. That didn’t bug me as much, but having Jordan by her side…I just couldn’t help wondering whether he liked her…really liked her. And the elation I had felt during practice began to fade.

This time, I chose the purple Kool–Aid and some kind of alcohol mix and went through two cups before I started feeling it and tossed my third cup. Jordan was on his third beer, I noticed, not that I was spending all my time watching him or anything. Not that I had an excuse to watch him and count his drinks. Stevie had driven all of us here and she wasn’t drinking, so there wasn’t really anything to worry about.

I kept to myself for a long time until Tony found me and pulled me into the office, away from everyone else. He shut the door halfway and turned on a lamp near the desk. The loud music and voices faded, leaving the hum of near silence flooding my ears.

“All right, Campbell,” he said, looking somewhat grim compared to his usual lighthearted attitude. “You asked for it and I delivered.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Really?”

He snatched a plain piece of paper from the printer and grabbed a pen, nodding for me to come closer. “You know the exit right before the stadium?” I shook my head and leaned closer to look at his drawing. “There’s a gas station with a big sign that’s had the letter missing for like a year.”

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “I do know that area.”

He glanced at me, probably checking my face for panic or a major breakdown, but I was a hundred percent in technical mode. “Okay, so about three miles before that exit, there’s a curve in the road and it’s pretty sharp…”

I watched as he drew lines and wrote down the mile marker from memory. Then he handed me the paper. I folded it carefully and tucked it into my pocket. “Thanks, seriously. I didn’t even think you’d be able to get this information.”

“There you are.”

Tony and I both jumped, looking really guilty and up to something as we turned to face Jordan, who was now standing at the door to the office.

“You’re welcome,” Tony said to me, then he flashed Jordan a grin before scurrying out of the room.

Jordan blocked the door, his eyes on me, waiting for an explanation. “What?” I said, all innocent.

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just wondering where you went. A couple of guys in my class made this cool light show thing for the science fair. We’re about to watch it.”

“You and Stevie?” I said, then I closed my eyes wishing I’d had an ounce of my usual self–control.

“Karen—” he started.

“Come on.” I turned my back to him, heading out the door. “Let’s go watch the light show science experiment thing.”

He dropped the subject of Stevie and followed behind me. I felt Jordan’s arm brush against mine as we walked down the steps to the basement where Tony had the alpha and omega of home theaters. The room was crowded with students and cups and booming voices, but Jordan managed to capture my attention. Standing close behind me, he whispered, “Are you worried about me and Stevie?”

I shrugged and kept my eyes on my two teammates standing across the room, talking to a few of the girls I’d met at the last party. Blair was chugging Kool–Aid mix like someone dying of thirst. “Why would I would be worried? I like Stevie. She’s my teammate.”