Leo's Chance(37)

Evie emerges from my room dressed and we eat breakfast together, laughing and teasing each other, and it feels normal and so amazingly good. I want to start every day for the rest of my life this way. Every once in a while, my deception comes racing to the forefront of my mind and guilt washes through me but I push it back. Soon…we just need a little more time. Soon.

Our teasing ends with her straddling me on the bar stool as I’m tickling her and nipping her neck and fake growling in her ear. Visions of her grinding down on me on the couch last night, and everything that came afterwards, come back and just like that, I’m ready to take her here, right now, on the bar stool in the kitchen.

I growl one more time for show but loosen my grip, laughing with her.

When she licks the dip at the base of my neck and kisses up to my jaw, I groan. The thought of sinking into her again is at the top of my priority list and I’d love nothing more than to cart her back to my bed and spend the rest of the day there. But she said she was sore… I groan again because I can tell she's turned on too. "Evie, I thought you said you were sore…"

She sighs, sitting up. "I am. Maybe some Tylenol would take the edge off enough...?"

I stare at her for a beat and then burst out laughing, "Christ. I’ve brought a sex demon to life." And I say that with full approval.

She laughs as she’s climbing off of me. I automatically frown at the loss of her body on mine. "Okay, so then what are you going to do with me today?" she asks.

"Ever been to the zoo?"

I think of the first time I went to the zoo in San Diego. I was seventeen and my life was shit at home. But I loved it. For a couple hours, I was a kid, doing something simple that I had never done when I was actually a kid. For a short time, I lost myself in doing something for no other reason than that it was fun. I want to give that to Evie too.

She looks shocked for a second. "Actually, no. You’re gonna take me to the zoo?" A beautiful grin spreads across her face.

I grin back and nod. "Cool. Do you have shoes that’ll work for walking?"

"Yeah, I brought a pair of sneakers."

"Okay, good, I’ll take a quick shower and we’ll get going."

We finish up breakfast and I give her a kiss and head to the shower. I start the water and strip. As I’m turning to get in the shower, I catch a small glimpse of my tattoo in the mirror. If Evie were to come in and I didn’t hear her… I feel a flash of guilt as I do what I have to do. I lock the bathroom door.

When I re-enter the kitchen, Evie comes to me, putting her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest. As she lifts her head and smiles up at me, I kiss her on her forehead, whispering, "My Evie. So sweet." My Evie. Mine.

**********

Watching Evie at the zoo is one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. I watch her more than I do any of the exhibits, a deep peace settling in my soul at being able to give this to her. I wish more than anything I could go back and erase the ugliness of her past and give her the fun, carefree childhood she deserved. I can’t. But I can give this to her now.

I watch her though and it occurs to me that maybe it’s for me too. All those years of feeling so damn helpless, so incapable of making her life better, maybe this is healing for me as well. Perhaps, it’s for me most of all. Because she always had a way of finding her own peace. That same pride that always fills me when I think of Evie’s strength overwhelms me now.

As we’re watching the elephants, Evie keeps her eyes on them as she says quietly, "Elephants grieve like we do. They shed tears and mourn their dead."

I look over at her. "Yeah? How do you know?"

"I read a book about them last year."

"You read a book about elephants?" I raise an eyebrow.

She looks over at me. "Don’t make fun. I try to learn about different things. You never know when the topic of pachyderms is going to come up. I wanna be able to hold my own should a conversation like that occur in a social situation." She grins teasingly over at me and then turns back to the elephants.

"Pachyderms?" I smile.

"Various nonruminant animals… like an elephant, or a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus…"

"Nonruminant?"

"Animals who have single compartment stomachs." She turns to me now, still smiling.

"Why didn’t you tell me you were a walking animal encyclopedia? I would have had you leading this tour."

She laughs. "Not ‘animal,’ just ‘elephant.’ I haven’t made it through any more books in the "Living Creatures" section of the library." She grins at me and the beauty of that full smile turned to me hits me square in the heart.

She shrugs, turning back to watch the big, majestic, apparently sensitive pachyderms as I gaze at her, finding yet another reason why I want to spend a lifetime with this woman. I don’t know anyone else who would check a book out of the library on elephants just to learn something new.

I move around behind her, and pull her back against my front and wrap my arms around her as we watch the elephants for a few more minutes. "You hungry for lunch?" I finally say.

She nods, looking back around and up at me, smiling. "Will you buy me a hot dog?" she asks.

I laugh. "Yeah, Evie, I’ll buy you a hot dog."