Leo (A Sign of Love Novel)(61)

I love you, Evie. I'll love you forever.

Your Leo



I sob, hot tears of sorrow coursing down my cheeks as I picture myself waiting for that letter and I picture Leo writing it, still hopeful, still my beautiful boy, up until that very next day.

I want to punch something, to throw something and hear it shatter, to make the sound that should accompany the feeling in my chest.

When I calm down, I sit staring at the wall for several minutes, gathering myself before I pull out the second letter, obviously written recently, in his adult hand.



To my Evie, the one who knew how to love me before I knew how to love myself,

I already told you about how I laid in that hospital bed for six months, reflecting on my life, reflecting on all the reasons that I couldn't stand to be alone with myself long enough to really think about who I was or what I was feeling.

What I didn't tell you was what a central role you played in helping me move towards a place of healing. My Evie, the strongest, purest person I've ever known. A person who was placed in the worst of circumstances in this life and yet selflessly loved and cared for those around her. How was it that someone so full of goodness and light ever even noticed a person like me? How did you see in me - what I was struggling so hard to see in myself?

I kept wondering why, all those years, when you looked straight into my eyes, unflinching, seeing the real me, what made you linger and come back? What made you love me despite who I believed myself to be? I thought about that hour after hour and the only conclusion I could come to was that maybe, just maybe, there was something decent in me, maybe something that was close to good. It was the first time I had ever had that thought and it stunned me just to ponder the possibility.

All those months, staring at the ceiling and staring into my own soul, you, Evie, you were the miracle that I kept coming back to again and again - that all those years ago, you chose me.

Please, please, choose me again.

I will spend my life trying to make myself a person who is worthy of you. I will work until my dying day to give you the beautiful life a beautiful person like you deserves. I will prove to you that forever is not just a word, not just a measurement of unending time, but that forever is a place where I will treasure your heart.

Yours always, Leo



Tears streak down my cheeks as I clutch the two letters to my chest. I sit like that for long minutes, making a decision.

I take a quick shower and pull on jeans and a turquoise peasant top and my brown boots.

I decide to call a cab. I finish putting on some makeup, partially dry my hair and smooth it back into a low ponytail.

When the cab rings my cell phone, I run out and jump in quickly.

I look up the address of Leo's company and give that to the driver. I lean back as the city goes by, my heart beating peacefully in my chest. I feel sure and calm. I feel like all the pieces have fallen into place. I feel like this was always my path, and now I'm finally back on it.

I walk into the huge lobby of the mostly glass building. As I'm walking towards the deskman, I spot an all glass elevator starting its ascent. I see an unmistakable pair of broad shoulders among the group riding the elevator but his back is to me. I rush towards it, looking up at it and catch the eye of a tall, dark haired man who smiles at me. I start waving my hands and pointing at Leo and the man finally understands, tapping him on the shoulder and gesturing out to me. He turns around as if in slow motion and I will never, ever forget his expression, not until my dying day. He is confused at first but as he sees me smiling up at him, I mouth, "I choose you," and understanding dawns and a look of raw emotion like I've never seen fills his beautiful face.

He starts pushing through the people to the front of the elevator and it stops suddenly at the next floor.

Then he’s running towards the escalator nearest him, even though it’s going in the wrong direction.

I run towards it as he starts parting the crowd, leaping down three and four stairs at a time to the yells and disgruntled sounds of the people trying to go upwards.

He doesn't care though. His focus is singularly directed at me as he finally leaps over the railing close enough to the bottom not to hurt himself.

We rush into each other's arms, him spinning me around, his face pressed into my hair as I laugh and cry and continue to chant, "I choose you, I choose you, Leo. Always."

We suddenly realize that people are stopped around us clapping and whistling and he grins at me, his face beaming with love and happiness.

"I love you, Evie," he says, his face sobering.

"I love you, Leo, my loyal lion."

"You still believe that, after everything?" His eyes are wide, looking deeply into mine.

I nod, "Even more. You found the courage to jump through fire for me. You found yourself on the other side, didn't you?"

He looks at me for long moments, "I guess I did. But you were the one holding the ring."

"That's the easy part, my beautiful boy. Believing in you is effortless. It always was."

He continues looking at me, that fire that I love entering his deep brown eyes. Then he grins. "I'm going to take you back to my den and maul you now."

I grin. "Yes, please."

And we walk out the door, hand in hand, into our forever.





EPILOGUE


Seven years later…