Leo(A Sign of Love Novel)(50)

I'm also afraid that the reason he's not opening up to me is because he doesn't want to get closer to me and this is his way of holding back.

A week later, on Friday night, we make love ardently, as always, and afterwards, Jake wraps me in his arms, whispering intimate words to me as we drift off to sleep. But in the deep of night, I awaken alone and when I get up to seek him out, I find him standing silently on his balcony, drinking from a glass filled with amber liquid.

"Can't sleep?" I murmur, putting my arms around him from behind.

"Yeah," he sighs, "Thought a night cap would help. Go back to bed, baby, I'll join you in a minute." I notice that his face looks strained.

"Okay," I agree, sleepily, squeezing him and then letting go, walking back to bed alone and a little troubled.

In the morning, he tells me he has a surprise. It's my day off and he's arranged a spa day for me. I'm excited because I've never, ever been to a spa before. I'm getting better at letting Jake treat me, even though it's still a struggle for me. He grins at my excitement and says it's all arranged. He scoots me into the shower and says a car will be here within the hour.

"Enjoy yourself, babe. I'm looking forward to meeting your friends tonight." It sounds nice but he looks nervous and preoccupied and I don't know what to say to draw him out. Maybe he has a lot going on at work. I'll get the spa works today and then I'll do what I can to relax him tonight. I've become pretty adept at that.

"Why are you so good to me?" I ask, bringing my arms up around his neck.

"I love to spoil you. Making you happy makes me happy," he smiles, looking deeply into my eyes.

I shower quickly and then dress in dark gray yoga pants, a white tank and light blue hoodie. I pull my sneakers on and Jake and I eat a quick breakfast of cereal with fruit as I look over the brochure for the spa down the street.

I kiss Jake when the buzzer goes off in his condo and rush down to the waiting car.

I spend an amazing morning and afternoon at the luxurious spa a couple blocks down from his condo, getting the works, facial, manicure, pedicure haircut and highlights and a massage. I love everyone who works with me and I spend the day not only relaxing and being treated, but chatting easily with the people who provide services there.

As I'm walking out of the massage room, getting ready to sign out at the front desk, a blond coming down the hallway almost runs right into me. "Oh, excuse me!" I say, embarrassed.

"No problem," she mutters, stopping abruptly.

Oh my God, it's Gwen. Holy shit! Well, it was a nice day.

"Oh!" she says surprised, "Evie, right?" The look on her face tells me that she's just about as happy to see me this time as she was the last and the temperature in the spa seems to dip several degrees.

"Right. Hi, Gwen. Nice to see you." I try to make my way around her, but she sidesteps in front of me, blocking my escape.

"Funny running into you here. I'm assuming Jake sent you?" she says as if she knows very well that I could never afford to come here on my own dime.

I pull myself up straight. If she's going to make a cat fight out of this, I'm not going to slink away like I have something to be ashamed of. "He did," I say, smiling a fake smile, "He likes to pamper me."

"Right," she says back, smirking. "I'll bet. Listen, Evie, I'm going to be a friend to you here and lay it on you straight. I know you probably think you don't have a lot of reason to trust me considering the last time we met I… exaggerated a few things between Jake and me. But I feel like it might be in your best interest to realize a few things."

I stare at her speechless which I guess she takes as her cue to continue.

"I've known Jake a long time. In all states of… sobriety. He doesn't even know some of the things that he's divulged to me when he was drunk or high off his ass. But, sober or not, it always comes down to the same thing. He'll never love anyone except her. If you think you love him, you should know that he's just trying to turn you into her. I've seen him do it again and again. - he takes a poor little mouse, uses her, gives her nice things, makes her think he has real feelings for her and then throws her away when it becomes obvious that she's not her. You'll never be enough for him, Evie. It's not you he really wants."

At her words, I die a thousand deaths. It's my greatest fear. I'll never be enough for anyone. Not ever. No one ever wants to keep me. Not when it comes down to it. In my life, I've been thrown away again and again by those that I thought loved me. I can't live through it again. I can't.

I push past her, trying desperately to get away from her words, cutting me to the bone.

"He has her picture on his back," she calls after me. "Surely you've seen it?"

I look back at her with wide eyes, mouth open in question and she just laughs. "He hasn't let you see. Typical. Run while you can, honey."

Then she turns and saunters down the hall while my heart shatters into a million pieces. I feel brittle, breakable, like I might crumble right there in the hall of the luxury spa. I walk to the counter, numb, and sign the paperwork. The girl behind the counter tells me that all cost, including tip has been taken care of and that they look forward to seeing me again soon. I smile what feels like a broken smile and walk woodenly out the door.