Left Drowning(90)

“Were you going to break up the wedding?” he asks with a hint of amusement.

“Maybe.” Now I’m embarrassed. “Maybe not. I don’t know.”

“I missed you, Blythe. Jesus, I missed the hell out of you.” He tightens his hold on me. “I don’t want to be away from you, not again, but this summer vacation idea is ridiculous. We can’t just all blow off life and congregate for the summer. Who does that?”

“We do. You said it once. ‘What’s a little risk now and then?’”

“You remember everything, don’t you?”

“I do.”

He strokes my back while he thinks and while I silently will him not to let go.

Finally, after what seems like forever, he shouts to the group, “Okay, people!” I wait, wondering what his final decision will be. He pulls me tighter and yells, “Let’s do it!”

“Hot damn!” screams Sabin, who whoops and runs straight to us. He grabs Chris by the face, and plants a slurpy kiss on his brother’s cheek. “Not getting married is the smartest thing you ever did. But you have to ride next to the smelly drunk girl. Shotgun!”

Things move surprisingly fast once the decision is made. James and I trail the Shepherd siblings back to their hotel and within minutes they’re back outside dragging down their suitcases. Of course, Estelle’s is impressively large. Clearly I’m still drunk, but as we pull out of the hotel parking lot, I feel dizzy and not just from the drinks. It has only taken twenty minutes for the entire course of my summer to change dramatically. Not just mine, either—every one of us is taking this leap together.

I’m happy that Sabin and Chris decided to pile into the car with me and James. Sabin is up front and I am in the middle seat in the back, with Jonah’s front half on my legs and Chris on the other side of me. Eric has good company with Estelle and Zach in the other car. He’s trailing us, driving the big Volvo SUV that was Estelle’s birthday present this year, after Chris apparently freaked out and decided her sedan wasn’t safe enough to drive in the Wisconsin snowstorms.

As naturally as breathing, Chris puts his arm over my shoulders. I slump into him and rest my hand in his lap. He folds our hands together and kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes. The alcohol is probably making this reunion seem falsely normal. Maybe I am too foggy to realize how weird this is. I recognize that we have careened into very new territory, obviously, yet being with him is what I have wanted more than anything, so it feels somehow right. At the moment, I don’t care what this is or what it might become. Above everything else, I have my friends back.

Sabin still has possession of my thermos, and I hear him rattling through my bag of little bottles. “Where are we going, by the way? I don’t even know where this house of yours is.”

James changes the radio station. “Bar Harbor. It’s about five hours from here.”

I feel Chris tense. “We’re going to Maine?”

“It’s okay, Chris.” Sabin’s voice is reassuring. “We’re going to be far north. Don’t stress.”

I rub my face against Chris’s chest. “Why?”

He rubs his thumb over the top of my hand. After Sabin turns up the radio, and he and James are engaged in conversation, Chris tips his head down to mine. “We lived in Maine for a while. I wasn’t planning on going back again.”

Hearing this makes me realize how many details of our lives Chris and I have never shared with each other. There are huge gaps in the basic information I know about him. In retrospect, there are reasons for these gaps. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“The fire was in Maine?” he confirms.

“Yes.”

“For some reason, I always assumed you’d been vacationing with your parents in Massachusetts. The Cape, I imagined. This is the first time that you’ll be there since? And you can deal with it?”

“Yes. I can do this. It’s going to be easier now.” I hold his hand tighter. “How could I not know you’re from Maine?”

“We did live all over, and we were only there for about four years. Nowhere near Bar Harbor, though.” He reaches the hand from my shoulder to scratch Jonah’s ears. “Good dog, huh?”

“He is.”

“A sweet boy for my sweet girl.”

I close my eyes again and rest against Chris. I absolutely adore him. “I’m kinda drunk, and I have to go to sleep, but first I have to tell you a secret.”

I feel him laugh lightly. “Okay, go.”

“You can’t tell anybody.”

“I promise.”

“I tried to run a marathon this year. Actually two.”

“Yeah? That’s amazing.”

“I said tried. I can’t do it. I can do a half marathon, but not a whole f*cking one. I tried one outside of Boston last October and one in Virginia in March. I wanted to qualify for the Boston Marathon. That’s the one I want, and I can’t get it. I suck.”

“You don’t suck. I think you’re amazing for even trying.”

“I can’t do the speed, I can’t do the distance. I’m not cut out to be a runner. I make myself get out there anyway, but I’m no good.”

Chris smoothes back my hair. “You’re more than good.”