Left Drowning(105)

James and I go downtown for lunch. He doesn’t want to talk about Estelle anymore, and neither do I. My brother is obviously terribly embarrassed, which I get, so I don’t press him on the issue, but he looks better as the afternoon goes on. Being with me seems to help him, so that is a good thing. Just as we finish lunch, I get a text from Chris. He is taking Estelle to Seal Cove, and asks if he can take Jonah. I tell him of course. Jonah loves that trip. Chris and I have been there a few times. It’s a magical walk down a mossy, rocky path to the cove, and on lucky days, you arrive at the beach to see tons of seals sunning themselves on the rocks. I hope today is a lucky day.

But I know that it’s starting. The storm. The one in the increasingly dark sky and the one on the ground.

James and I take one of the touristy boat rides through the harbor. He is one of the volunteers who helps raise the giant red sails. Despite what has happened with Estelle, he is able to smile into the bits of filtered sun that hit his face as he pulls on the thick rope that soon flaps loudly in the wind. I am very lucky to have him back in my life. I take a video of him with my phone and then have him pose with the ship’s mascot, an enormous black Newfoundland.

I want to delay going back to the house, so I persuade James to walk through busy downtown Bar Harbor. We get ice cream and browse in the bookstore. I buy him some clothes for school from one of the sporting goods stores, even though he insists it isn’t necessary. After we’ve exhausted the hilly streets and nearly every store, James stops me. “Blythe. I want to go back. I need to see Estelle. Make sure she’s okay.”

“Of course.” So I take us home.

I pull the car up to the house and put it in park, but James doesn’t move to get out. “She’s probably angry at me for telling.”

“No, she won’t be. You did exactly the right thing. Did it help to talk to Chris?”

“Yeah. I still don’t understand, but he made me feel better. Do you get it? Why she would … you know, want that?”

“I’m afraid I might, James.” I hand him the keys. “Take Estelle out for dinner or something if you want. I’m going to find Chris.”

But I don’t have to find him because I know where he’ll be. And I’m right. I walk slowly across the upper lawn, down the wooden stairs to the lower yard, and then to the beach and the long dock that stretches into the ocean. Chris is sitting on the end, his feet hanging over the edge, and Sabin is lying down behind him holding a beer can with one hand and petting Jonah with the other. My dog seems to be on high alert, panting and thumping his tail as he looks around.

“C’mere, Jonah.” I clap my hands, and he races down the dock to greet me. I kneel down and scratch the scruff of his neck. “You watching over the boys? Huh? Yeah?” He bounds away and plants himself back next to Sabin.

I step over Sabin, who appears to be sleeping, take off my shoes, and sit next to Chris. He puts his arm around me and kisses me. “Hey.” He sounds as tired as he looks.

“Hey. How are you? And how’s Estelle?”

He sighs. “I don’t know how to answer you.”

“Blythe, Blythe, Blythe!” Sabin thumps the deck with his hand, and I turn around. He is drunk. Really drunk.

I glance at Chris. “I know,” he says. “I know.”

“Hi, Sabe.” I lean back and rest my head on his stomach.

“Where you been today? I missed you, B.”

“Out with James.”

“Oh. First I thought you and Chris were locked up in your room again. I mean, Jesus, you two are like rabbits. It’s never just you and me anymore. But then he came back, and you stayed away.”

“I’m sorry. We’ll do something tomorrow. Just the two of us.” I don’t want to have any kind of conversation with him. I can tell he’s way too drunk to make any sense, and if I say the wrong thing, he could get irritable. “Promise.”

“Okay, B.” He pats my head. “It’s just that I miss you, and you’re missing everything.”

“What am I missing?” I ask lazily. I love Sabin, I do, but I wish he’d go to his room and sleep this off. I want to talk to Chris alone.

“Like, did you even know that Zach and Eric broke up last night? Huh?”

I sit up. “Chris, did you know this?”

“No. Sabin, what the f*ck are you talking about? They couldn’t have broken up.”

Sabin laughs. “Jesus, you two are so f*cking out of it. You haven’t noticed anything wrong? The fighting? The snarky comments?”

Chris and I really have been in our own world.

“Zach’s been on the couch for two weeks. According to him,” Sabin starts as he heaves himself up and slouches forward, “they’ve never even slept together. Can you believe that shit? I mean, they sleep in the same bed, but that’s it.”

“What?” This surprises me. They are so affectionate and loving in public. “That’s why they broke up? That doesn’t sound like Zach.”

“No, dummy.” Sabin finishes his beer. “Eric broke up with him. He says that Zach wants too much of a commitment or whatever. But the good news is that now maybe I’ll have someone to hang out with. Someone who’s not all coupled up and shit.” He reaches for Jonah. “I do have this guy, though. Right, buddy?” He lets Jonah lick his face while he pats him.