Leave a Trail (Signal Bend #7)(129)

oOo



My love,



Not even a full day without you, and already I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I’m sitting in bed.

Our bed. Alone. And I don’t know how I’m going to do this. This house, this home is not right without you in it. The kids and I aren’t right without you. They are breaking my heart. To think of them growing up without you is killing me. They need you. I need you. I think I’m all out of strength.



Lilli set the paper and pen aside. She would never send him a letter like that. Never. To the limited extent that she had power over what he had to endure, she would make it as easy on him as she could. She would not make it harder. She turned out the light, slid under the covers, and pulled Isaac’s pillow to her face, breathing his scent deeply. Then, her children asleep and her man far away, she cried into his pillow until the cosmos took some pity on her and let her sleep.





X


The 57th Day



The white Formica tables were bolted to the floor, but the chairs moved. Lilli and Gia sat in chairs next to each other; Bo sat in Lilli’s lap. One table over, Tasha and Show sat. Waiting. Isaac and Len had been away almost two months, and finally, finally they had visitation.

Both Gia and Bo were sitting quietly, wide eyed, overwhelmed by the strangeness of the place. Lilli felt sure it wasn’t the rough men sitting around them with their families. Gia and Bo lived in a world of rough men. But there was an unsettling vibe to the place. A cocoon of suspicion and hostility around it.

It was Saturday, so the visiting room was nearly full. She’d thought they’d have seven hours with them.

After fifty-seven days apart, seven hours felt simultaneously like a world of time and none at all—but by the time they all got through the first-time visitor processing, two of those hours had passed them by. Now, they were all sitting, impatiently waiting. Every time the door opened and a man in a khaki inmate’s uniform walked through, Lilli’s heart nearly went straight through her throat. And every time it was someone other than Isaac, the disappointment dizzied her. Time was ticking. They only had four hours and forty-four minutes left with him.

At four hours and thirty-seven minutes left, the door opened, and a beautifully familiar body filled the space.

Gia leapt to her feet. “That’s Daddy! That’s Daddy, Mamma!”

“Yeah, cara, it is.” Lilli stood, putting Bo down and taking his hand.

The guard at the door let him through, and Gia ran forward. Alarmed, worried that they would be asked to leave if their daughter appeared unmanageable, Lilli hissed “Gia!”

Show grabbed her before she got more than a couple of steps, and they waited for Isaac, with Len right behind him, to make their way to their tables.

Len was sporting a head of short, grey hair and a healing cut across his right ear. Isaac was sporting a fading but still nasty bruise on his left cheek. His eyes were locked with hers as he approached his family.

When he was close enough that it wouldn’t cause trouble, Lilli sent the kids forward, and they both ran to their father, who squatted and clutched them close, tucking their heads to his shoulders, his eyes closed.

Lilli could sense him trying to soak in the feel of them, to try to keep it with him when they left. Show and Len embraced, and Lilli looked over at Tasha, who smiled back. She, too, was holding off for last.

When Isaac stood, he clasped Show hard, and Lilli heard Show say, “I’m not stayin’ the whole time, brother. I’ll leave you with your family. Just needed my own eyes to see you whole.” Isaac nodded as he let him go.

And then there was no one between her and Isaac. He smiled the lopsided smile she loved. “Hey, Sport.”

“Isaac.” Her vision swam. Jesus Christ, she was going to cry.

“Don’t, baby.”

She nodded and swallowed, and then his arms were around her; she felt the strength of his love for her in his thick, iron embrace, and she was fighting the tears again. “Please, Lilli,” he murmured into her hair.

“Come on.”

“I’m sorry.” She reclaimed control just as he lifted her head and kissed her. It was a chaste kiss, for them, a lingering of lips, a soft sweep of his tongue, and then it was over. But her knees were weak. And he was flushed and panting.

“Fuck, baby. Fuck.” He looked over his shoulder at a guard, and then he led her to the table, lifting Bo onto his lap as he sat, and pulling Gia’s chair up against his. At once, Gia leaned on his arm, circling her arms around his bicep. Physical contact with his children was allowed. Lilli could only hold his hand now, until the end of the visit. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed hers, linking their fingers.

Bo reached up and patted his bruised cheek. “Ouchie, Daddy.”

Isaac smiled at his son. “Yeah, little man. But I’m okay. You should see the other guy.” He winked, and Bo nodded in agreement, perfectly certain that the other guy looked much worse.

Lilli wasn’t so sure, and she shot him a look.

“It’s okay, Sport. Just jockeyin’. That kind of stuff’s gotta happen.” He dropped his voice with a conspiratorial smirk. “And you really should see the other guy.”

For a couple of hours, they chatted amiably, Isaac holding close to his family, Len and Tasha holding hands like Isaac and Lilli, Show sitting among them, obviously feeling more and more awkward. Not allowed to bring toys or books into the visiting room with them, Gia and Bo were growing bored along the same trajectory as Show’s discomfort. Even Gia, who’d counted days and then hours before this visit, was running low on patience for sitting and talking. She’d told her father every story she had, described all of her school work, her classmates, and her teacher. She’d regaled him with stories about Kodi. When even she had nothing left to say and was fidgeting in her seat, Show stood.