Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(77)
Everything he was, I loved, and it left me feeling utterly helpless.
Because if he knew it, if he ever suspected the entirety of the truth, that this wasn’t just some passing fancy? Well, I’d be out on my ass so fast I wouldn’t even hit the ground for three blocks. So I loved him in silence.
In return, he patted me on the head.
“Glad we got this sorted,” he said, his arms falling back to his sides.
I squeezed him tighter.
“I should get back to it. The guys’ll be waiting. But Lena, can you do me a favor?””
“What?”
“Keep the camera. Please. I want you to have it.”
“But it’s so expensive.”
“It’s just money, Lena. Relax. I’ve got more.”
“Well, I’m finding it harder and harder to resist.”
“Then don’t.”
I sighed deep, ever so surreptitiously rubbing my breasts against him (don’t judge me). “Okay, but only because it would be terribly rude not to accept such a generous gift.”
“It’s nothing, really. With my kind of money, it’s a drop in the bucket.”
I studied his face and sure enough, his usual calm, no care demeanor had returned. “Oh.”
“All right?” His feet shuffled, the connection between us suddenly severed. “We good?”
“Twenty G,” said Ben’s deep bass voice softly from somewhere behind me.
“I’m not taking your money again,” answered Mal. “It’s too easy.”
“Fine, forty thousand says they’re through by Christmas.”
“Why are you always betting against true love, Benny? What’s with that?”
“It’s all bullshit,” Ben muttered.
“Ben,” said Jimmy. “Watch your f*cking mouth.”
“Sorry.” Some grumbling from Ben. “Didn’t realize they could hear us.”
“Of course we can hear you, you idiot. We’re not deaf. Enough of this.” Jimmy stepped back, hands gently but firmly disentangling me from him. My grabby hands never stood a chance. He was just too strong, damn it. “Time to get back to work.”
“Wait.” I wrapped my hands around my sides, so they’d feel less bereft. “Did you mean it, what you said before about me maybe trying being Pam’s apprentice on tour?”
“Yeah. She suggested it, so talk to her. She said you had a natural talent and could do with another pair of hands helping her out.”
“But I thought you wanted me to keep working for you as your assistant?”
He drew his lips to one side, in query almost. “Figure you’re gonna probably get sick of that eventually. You’ll get bored. You work with Pam, then you can still work for me and do other stuff as well.”
“So it’ll be like a second job?”
“Sure. Why not.”
“I’ll give it some thought and have a talk to Pam.”
“You do that, and then take the opportunity. It’ll be a great experience for you.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“What about sex?” he asked.
“What about it?”
“I want to have it again. With you.” his voice dropped low. “What do you say?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
He stared into my face, saying nothing for a good long while. Agitated fingers started tap, tap, tapping against the small of my back. Eventually, he said, “We still haven’t gotten each other out of our systems yet, have we? So the original reasons still hold.”
My heart stopped. “We, huh?”
“Yeah.” He paused, sighed. “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
“I guess it is. It’s nice to hear it.”
“So, I think we should do it, try some different positions, and mess around a bit. Might fix things, you never know.”
“You genuinely believe that giving scissors, the butterfly, or dragon a whirl is going to fix things between us?”
His eyes glazed. “Lena…ah, man.”
“What?”
With the motion of his hand, he directed my attention downward. Huh, things were definitely happening in his pants.
“That’s not my fault if you can’t control it. It’s not like it’s attached to me.”
He groaned. “Well, us having sex’ll definitely fix one thing.”
“True.” Whoa, there really was a hell of a bulge behind his fly. And there went my panties. Cold thoughts. Boring thoughts. “But you didn’t react well to good sex with me last time.”
“That won’t happen again. I promise.”
“You do, huh?”
“Absolutely.” He stepped closer. “Boy Scout pledge and all that.”
“You don’t strike me as someone who was in Boy Scouts.”
“I wasn’t. But I can still tie a hell of a knot.”
My mouth opened, but yeah … nothing. Oh, the evil dirty thoughts dancing behind his eyes. I longed to hear all about them in detail.
He grinned. “That’s about the first time I’ve ever seen you lost for words.”
“Shut up.” My face, it felt flambéed. I cleared my throat a few dozen times. “Anyway, I’d just like to take this opportunity to say how awful I personally feel that you enjoyed having sex with me. No really, Jimmy. I’m sincerely apologizing on behalf of my vagina, here.”