Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(58)

“Have you?”

“Yeah, but it’s been busy down there.” He moved closer. “I like your hair up like that.”

“Thank you.” Gratitude leached from my pores at his kind words, it was pathetic really. His grip slipped down my arm, fingers sliding over mine until we were holding hands. My muscles unwound, relaxed. I wasn’t alone. My life wasn’t over because Liv Anders had arrived, I would go on.

This was good.

For such a small intimacy handholding packed a punch. Sex was great, but sex wasn’t everything and when it came to Dean, I just wasn’t ready yet. Handholding worked. And it led to more kissing, a little necking maybe, some touching, followed eventually by a bit of rubbing in the right places. The steps leading up to sex should be enjoyed at a leisurely pace, the foreplay of dating and getting to know someone could only be done once so it should be done right.

And Dean was nice.

Jimmy could think what he liked about the word. Nice was nice. It had its place in the warm and fuzzy ways of beginning to feel for someone, and I wanted to feel for Dean. Feeling for him was pleasant, painless, and plausible. Three things I’d begun to appreciate more and more. The days of me throwing my heart and soul at Jimmy Ferris’s feet were done.

A sliver of guilt existed over dating Dean when I had feelings for Jimmy. But if I didn’t want those feelings, if I was willing to work at getting past them …

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“Work junk.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. “I should head back down.”

“Me too,” he said, giving me his lopsided grin.

Which was how we wound up walking hand in hand down the steps toward the recording studio. Right when the guys and company were pouring out of the place.

Jimmy’s eyes latched onto our joined hands and his face hardened. It might have just been me, but I’m pretty sure the temperature in the room rocketed to lava levels.

“If she’s here, she’s working, Dean,” he said, his voice flat and unfriendly.

What the hell?

“Right.” Dean dropped my hand like it had been dipped in poison. “Sorry, Jim.”

“Actually I was just on my break,” I said, despite the fact I’d never actually had an official break since starting with him. He probably owed me quite a few by now.

A muscle jumped in Jimmy’s jawline. “Lena, I asked you to get the info on the interview for next week.”

“It’s waiting for you in the office.”

“I’m not in the office, Lena. I’m here.”

“So I see. Just give me a moment and I’ll fetch it for you.”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Not at all, Jimmy. Anything for you.”

His jaw hardened. “And we can do without you carrying on with your boyfriend during business hours from now on,” he said.

Carrying on? For f*ck’s sake. There was a lot I could say in response, but all of it came with the distinct possibility of putting Dean straight back in the firing line. “Duly noted.”

“Great.”

“Awesome.”

He just glared at me.

Therefore, I got the last word in and I won. Take that, you god damn arrogant tyrannical shithead. I didn’t know if he was jealous or what, but perhaps he’d snap and fire me this time. He certainly seemed angry enough, his eyes promising all sorts of damage. Part of me almost hoped he would, my heart hammering inside my chest. Do it, do it, do it.

“That’s enough,” he snapped.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to.”

True enough. We could read each other far too well at times.

Everyone had frozen sometime during our verbal combat, all the better to watch the carry-on. Even Liv the movie star seemed discomforted by the scene. Her head turned this way and that, eyes wide with obvious confusion.

Then Mal let out a loud wailing noise. “I hate it when mommy and daddy fight!”

The crazed drummer barreled up the stairs in a dramatic exit. If Dean and I hadn’t flattened ourselves against the wall we’d have been knocked over. David choked on a laugh, Ben at least had the good grace to turn his back before he cracked up, and behind them, Taylor and Pam said nothing. The movie star still had the oblivious thing going on. Then her hand crept beneath Jimmy’s arm, her fingers wrapping around his strong bicep and squeezing before her fingers dropped away.

“Jimmy?”

He sort of started, the anger dropping from his face. “Yeah, Liv. Why don’t we go out?”

I could see why the woman had made millions, her smile lit up the room. Fortunate for me and my sensibilities, Jimmy’s face remained more reserved.

“Can I have a word with you first?” I asked him. We needed to clear the air about this handholding business. That, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving with her, of what might happen between them next. I just wasn’t ready. Another minute or two maybe and I’d be fine, if we could just fix this latest fight.

“Not now,” he said.

“But—”

“Not now.” His voice was a whip and it cut through me sure and true.

The guys amusement cut off dramatically.

“Jim,” said David, face serious.