Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(30)
He faced me, hands on hips. “Yeah, after our talk today, I wanted to know where you were at?”
“So you accept that ordering me to stay doesn’t actually make it so?”
“Maybe.” He meandered on over to my desk and casually started sifting through the debris. Half of the contents of my purse were scattered across the table, along with a couple of magazines. Oh no damn it, one of them lay open. Shit. I’d already had about enough embarrassment today to last me a decade. Please God don’t let him see.
“Leave my stuff alone please, Jimmy.”
“What’s this?” He picked it up, of course he did. Then he began to read. “Guide to getting over him. Interesting.”
“Well you didn’t just expect me to turn tail and run without at least investigating alternatives, did you?”
He lifted one shoulder. “Pretty much.”
“Great. Your faith in me is heartening. So what have you been thinking about?”
“Your feelings,” he deadpanned, looking up from the magazine.
I took a breath. “Jimmy, I’m impressed. You almost managed to say it in a normal voice this time.”
“I practiced downstairs for a while.” He sat on the edge of my bed, legs spread wide, making himself completely at home. Which I guess made sense to a degree.
“So what about my feelings?”
“You know this isn’t half bad. Some of this advice is pretty sound.” He kept on reading.
“You’ve suffered from unrequited passions yourself, I take it?”
He snorted. “Course not. I always got whoever I wanted.”
“Of course you did.” I bowed my head, properly chided. Shame on me for thinking otherwise. Doubtless he’d left a trail of broken hearts behind him an ocean wide.
“Which was not always a good thing.” The arrogance slipped from his face and he frowned, his jaw taut. He stared into the distance, remembering what, I wondered? When he realized I was watching him, he swallowed, gave the magazine a shake. “We should do this.”
“What? Do what?”
“One. You need to get out and see other people.” He winced. “You’re obviously not so great at getting hookups, so don’t worry, I’ll help you out with that. Two. Try to focus on my flaws.”
“You want me to follow the list to help me get over my crush on you?”
“Yeah, stop interrupting. This is important. Two. Focus on my flaws.” He gave me a cursory glance. “I don’t see you having any trouble with that one. Three. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, needy and or angry.”
I pushed up my glasses. “I see.”
“Yeah. Honestly, it’s really unattractive, Lena. No one wants to see that shit.”
“R-i-ght.”
“Four. A bunch of them sort of rolled into one here, again. Go out with friends. Try something new. Get fit. Pamper yourself. Have fun. Enjoy life. Go on a trip. Paint your toenails, whatever the f*ck. Blah, blah, blah. You get what I mean.”
“Mm.” I nodded.
“That’s pretty much it.”
“And I’m supposed to follow this?”
He gave me a long look. “You said you didn’t really wanna leave, that you liked the job. Prove it.”
I laughed ever so slightly manically. The decision had been made and it hadn’t been an easy one. Backtracking now did not seem wise. “Jimmy, please. It’s just some stupid magazine article probably written by a bored intern on their lunch break. This is not science. It’s not going to fix anything.”
“Then why was it lying open at this page?”
Good question. Strands of black hair hung over his forehead, hanging in his eyes. Without thought, he pushed them back. My fingers itched to do just that, to brush back his hair and sooth his fevered brow. Not that he seemed particularly hot in the temperature sense.
And he thought some wisdom out of a magazine could cure me.
“Never know, Lena. It just might work.” He dropped the magazine in my lap, gaze pinning me to the spot. “And I think you owe it to me to try.”
My chin went up. “I do, huh?”
“I gave you a chance. Gave you this job, and made every effort to accommodate you. Not fair you’d just take off after not even two months without giving it your best shot. You owe me”
“You hired me because you thought I’d be easier to manipulate than another actual counselor and because Mal and David harangued you. Let’s not lose sight of the truth here.”
One thick shoulder rose and fell. “Does it matter? I gave you the job, you said you like the job. Least you can do is give this a chance.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You do that.” A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “I know all about addictions and wanting things that aren’t good for you, Lena. End of the day, it’s up to you to decide whether to take control and fight it or not.”
Jimmy Ferris as an illegal, dangerous, controlled substance. Funnily enough, I could see it. The man affected me on all the levels no matter how much I tried to resist, damn it.
He headed for the door, closing it slowly behind him. “Night.”
“Night.”
# # #
A bang like a shotgun startled me from sleep. I shot up in bed, blinking into the semi-darkness. What fresh hell was this? A blurry shadow stalked toward me.