Lead (Stage Dive, #3)(26)

“You’re quitting?”

It’d never been so hard to meet his eyes. “Yes, Jimmy. I am. It’s time.”

“You organized all this behind my back.” Not a question, a statement, and a very angry one at that. His usual cool gaze fell to well below sub-zero. It was pure luck I didn’t snap freeze on the spot.

Instead, I nodded, goose bumps breaking out all over my skin.

“When?”

“When did I organize it or when do I finish?”

He jerked his chin. I took it to mean ‘yes’ on both counts.

“The last couple of weeks, and in a couple of weeks,” I said. “Thought I’d spend a few days settling Tom in before I left, making sure everything was okay. Of course there were other candidates, it’s your choice whether or not you hire him.”

“Big of you.”

“But you will need to find someone to replace me.”

“When were you going to tell me, Lena?”

“Soon.”

He raised a brow.

“This weekend … sometime, I was going to give notice. I mean, definitely well before Tom arrived for his interview with you on Monday. You would probably want a chance to prepare, so …” I gave him my most charming smile. No matter what, never actually admit to flailing. “Monday morning at the very latest.”

Color suffused Jimmy’s face.

I cleared my throat. “Back to Tom’s previous experience, which I think it’s important to note, unlike me, he actually has some in a relevant field—”

“No.”

I blinked. “What?”

“No. You’re not quitting.”

“Ah, yes. I am.”

He shook his head just the once, but it was a fierce shake, brutal even. I’m surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. And while I’d known he probably wouldn’t embrace my decision, I hadn’t expected this level of obstinacy. “I’m a secretary, Jimmy. Not an addiction counselor. Fact is, I never should have taken the job in the first place. I’m not qualified, nor am I particularly good at it.”

“I think I’m in a better position to make that call. Hell, Lena. This is ridiculous, what is it you want me to say?”

I shrugged, surprised by his response. “Goodbye, I guess. And if you wouldn’t mind, a letter of recommendation would be nice.”

For a moment he said nothing, just let his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling. The muscles in his neck were thick, veins stark beneath the skin. “What’s the real issue here? You want more money?”

“No. To be honest, you’re probably paying me too much as it is. Not that I’m volunteering for a decrease.”

“Then what?” His gaze bored into me, eyes a lighter shade than his brothers. Jimmy’s eyes were like a cloudless sky, the perfect blue. They were beautiful, but rarely serene. And God help me for even noticing, let alone getting poetic.

“Why do you want me to stay so badly?” I threw up my hands. “Most days you barely tolerate me. Last week you stopped speaking entirely and just grunted at me for three days.” Suddenly you can’t bear for us to be apart? Come on.”

Ben chuckled. “She’s got a point.”

“Later, Benny,” Jimmy said without taking his eyes off me.

“Right. Have fun, guys.” The big man ambled on out, not particularly bothering to hide his smile.

“I just … I got a bit moody last week.” He crossed his arms and said in a rush, “But it wasn’t nothing to do with you.”

“No, of course not. But I have to live with you. So when you get into these moods, it affects me. ”

Further scowling.

“Not that this is about us.” I shook my head. “I mean, there is no us. I don’t know why I even used the word. This decision is just about me. It’s time for me to move on.”

Jimmy’s jaw clenched. “I don’t like change.”

“We’ll make the handover as smooth as possible.”

“I’m used to you being around. We get on okay. Why the f*ck should I have to go through all the trouble of breaking-in someone new just because you’ve got your panties in a twist over something that probably doesn’t even matter?”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I was officially stupefied. Over the breaking-in or panties comments I couldn’t quite say, though really, neither should have surprised me. This was Jimmy in all his glory, rude as f*ck and not a single social nicety to him. At least I was willing to pretend to get along with people the bulk of the time.

“Well?” he barked. When I took too long to answer he tugged his red sweatshirt off over his head, using it to wipe down his face.

“My reasons, which are personal, do matter. Maybe not to you, but they matter to me.”

He looked off to the side, his lips drawn wide in a truly aggrieved expression. Had any man ever been quite so badly treated? No, I think not, according to that face.

“I’ve made up my mind,” I said.

“I’ll pay you twenty percent more.”

“Were you even listening? This is not about money.”

“Fuck’s sake. Fifty.”

I screwed up my nose. “Jimmy—”