Last Light(44)

“Uh, the zoo thing is tentative,” I said. “Very tentative. And Seth, that’s different. Nate is … Nate. Nate has a wife, kids…” I trailed off, looking meaningfully at Seth.

“So? Are you implying that I have ulterior motives?”

“Not implying anything.”

“So what’s the problem? What if I do have ulterior motives? You’re gorgeous, you’re funny and smart, and I want to take you out.”

“It’s not happening, Seth.”

“Never?” He glared at me.

“Never. Sorry.”

“Then we’ll be friends. Let me take you to dinner. Bring a friend if you want.”

I could see that Seth wasn’t going to give up, and I was beginning to feel cruel. What could he really do to me over dinner? Nothing, except bore me or hit on me. Or both.

Besides, I didn’t believe Seth really wanted me. To him, I was Matt’s old flame, available yet unattainable, and my resistance was probably fueling his pursuit. Maybe if I gave in to a dull dinner, he’d give up, too.

“Dinner.” I sighed. “Tomorrow night?”

His dark eyes lit up. “All right, tomorrow night.”

“Meet me at Cherry Creek. Seven okay?”

“Seven is fine.” Seth’s face fell. “The mall?”

“Yeah. They have a nice food court. I’ll meet you outside Macy’s.”

I bounded up the steps before Seth could object.

*

“Han, I am so hot for this guy.” My sister fanned herself as she drove. “Like if I were a dude, I’d be gay for this guy. That hot.”

“I don’t think that’s … quite how homosexuality works,” I murmured. My hands twitched on my lap. I was fighting the urge to steady the wheel.

“Whatever, whatever.” Chrissy turned up the music—Goldengrove, of course—and raised her voice to compensate. “Just let me work my magic! You have your—”

She glanced at me as we pulled up to the shopping center. I was wearing a loose turtleneck sweater dress, leggings, and boots. Nothing sexy about it.

“Okay, you have your frock going on there. I’m working this.” My sister gestured to her chest. Her tight leather jacket was unzipped enough to show a line of cleavage. She looked good, as always. Her short hair was styled perfectly, her makeup flawless, her clothes fit snugly.

We laughed as we climbed out of the car.

“I’d pay you to take this guy off my hands,” I said. “He’s creeping on me hard. Which is weird, am I right?”

“Oh, super weird.” Chrissy nodded vigorously. “I mean, Matt—” She didn’t hesitate over Matt’s name. Not once had she given me the pity eyes or the lingering hug, even though this was our first time hanging out since the memorial. Thank God for my sister. “Matt just happened, you know? That shit just went down. It is way too sketchy for his brother to be hitting on you.”

“Thank you. My thoughts exactly.”

Except not my thoughts at all.

My thoughts were more like: Matt is still alive and if he finds out Seth is after me, he will flip the f*ck out and discard anonymity in favor of fratricide.

Chrissy and I strolled into the mall. We talked smack about every other outfit we passed.

“I’ll wear that when I’m reincarnated as a whale,” Chrissy said. I couldn’t help but laugh. Okay, maybe this would be fun. Life at work, the condo, and the cabin was getting insular. Besides, I missed my sister. We got along well in spite of our differences—or maybe in light of them—and she always managed to make me smile.

Plus, when I told Chrissy I needed a buffer for dinner with the lead singer of Goldengrove, nothing could hold her back. The indie group was one of her favorites.

Seth and a bandmate were waiting for us outside Macy’s.

My heart fluttered strangely at the sight of Seth. It’s because I miss Matt, I thought, and looking at Seth is like looking at Matt. Of course.

I recognized the bandmate from my debauched night in New Jersey. He was the drummer, or maybe the bass guitarist.

“You brought … your sister?” Seth smiled at Chrissy.

Seth wore a gray wool coat over a T-shirt and jeans. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail. He almost looked preppy, except his shirt had … a squirrel on it?

“Yeah, this is Christine. Christine, Seth Sky.” I smirked. “Nice shirt.”

“Thanks. Matt gave it to me.”

Annnd now I felt like an ass.

I shuffled around to shake hands with the bandmate, whose name was Wiley. Wiley couldn’t take his eyes off Chrissy. I doubt Chrissy noticed, though, because she couldn’t take her eyes off Seth. Ugh, this already felt like a twisted double date.

Seth wasn’t particularly attentive as we ambled through the food court and studied our options. Chrissy gushed about Goldengrove and solicited a signature, and Seth made amicable noises. “Oh,” he’d say, or, “I see, yeah.”

A passel of teens recognized Seth and Wiley. I braced myself for confrontation—it was never pretty when fans closed in on Matt—but Seth was gracious and talkative. Huh. Why couldn’t Matt be like that?

We ordered gyros from Renzios and Seth paid. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. Laconic smiles, slow graceful gestures, an edge of nervous energy.