LOL: Laugh Out Loud (After Oscar, #2)(39)

“Who the hell is that?” Scotty hissed. “The infamous Oscar?”

I didn’t recognize the voice, but I knew who it wasn’t. “No. I don’t know who it is, but it’s not Oscar.”

“Do you have a weapon?” Scotty asked.

I glared at him, gesturing to my 100 percent nude body. “Yes, Scottsman Pinkerton. I have all kinds of weapons up in this bitch.”

Scotty broke into a laugh. “I’ll have you know it’s Scotland Pony Pinker.”

My eyes widened. “No way.”

“Of course not. Shut up and get dressed. You’re going first. Think of yourself as a human shield of sorts.”

We made our way upstairs carefully, Scotty holding on to the back of my pants with a vice grip that gave me a terrible wedgie.

“Let go of my underwear,” I whispered. “You’re chafing my crack.”

“Shh, we can’t hear the bad guys over the sound of your bitching.”

Even though we were about to face our own deaths, I couldn’t help but think of how much fun I was having hanging out with Scotty.

He yanked the back of my shirt, choking me. “Wait! Do your police thing!” he hissed.

“What police thing?”

“Like you did with me. Obviously it works. Try it.”

I turned back and gawped at him. “Dude, I’m wearing sweats and a Snickers Bar T-shirt.”

“What does your shitty fashion sense have to do with anything?”

We were hovering at the top of the basement stairs, staring at the closed wooden door.

“Open it,” Scotty urged.

“We’re going to be shot. You know that, right?”

“It’s Vermont, for god’s sake. At the most, we’re going to be offered Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and lectured on greenhouse gasses.”

Suddenly, the door opened away from us, revealing a huge mountain man with a giant beard the size of a serial killer…’s giant beard.

“Fuck,” I blurted. “We weren’t ready.”

“He’s a cop,” Scotty squeaked from behind me, pushing me forward. “You’re under arrest!”

The two of us glared at the stranger for a beat before something became painfully obvious. The giant mountain man was dressed in a police uniform.

“I think you have that the other way around,” the man said calmly.

Motherfucker.





13





Scotty





Does Roman Burke Have A Cop Fetish?



Maybe I was going to have to wait and get my reciprocal blow job in jail.

And also maybe I needed to stop hanging out with Roman fucking Burke since he was the common denominator in the sum total of police problems I’d had lately.

“Just for this, you’re paying for riding lessons when we get out of prison,” I muttered under my breath as we followed the cop to the kitchen. “And you’re paying my attorney’s fees too.”

Roman responded by turning to me with an indulgent smile on his face and leaning in to kiss me on the lips. “You delight me,” he said.

I stared at him in shock. “Even though I’m getting you arrested again?”

He reached for my hand and held it between both of his. I’d noticed he liked to be touching me most of the time we were near each other, which I loved. I was a touchy person anyway, and around Roman I was practically a salivating skin whore.

He chuckled. “You’re not getting me arrested. That’s one of Oscar’s exes,” he said, nodding toward the hulking man who’d met us at the top of the stairs.

As I watched, Officer Beardy McBeardson helped himself to a beer from the fridge. He was very obviously comfortable in the house as he didn’t even hesitate before grabbing a bottle opener from one of the drawers and tossing the cap into the hidden trash can.

“Careful about glass houses, Roman,” the cop said, tipping his beer bottle toward him. “You dated Oscar too.”

I was very, very confused. “So wait… have you two met before?”

The cop turned his attention my way, his eyes sweeping over me. A slow smile spread across his face. “Nah. But we all know about each other. We’re like a club.”

“And not a very exclusive one apparently,” I pointed out.

His grin widened. “I’m Trevor, by the way,” he said, reaching out to shake my hand. “Nice to meet you, gorgeous,” he added with a wink.

Before I had a chance to fully extend my arm, Roman reached around my waist and pulled me back against his chest with a little growl from his throat.

Trevor threw his head back and barked out a laugh. “What, I can’t appreciate this jewel just because you’re currently wearing him?”

I assumed I was the jewel in question and wasn’t sure how I felt about the description. On the one hand, jewels were pretty and fancy, and I never minded being considered as such. But on the other hand, jewels were items to be owned and possessed, and I wasn’t really down for the idea that I belonged to someone like that. I’d spent too many years being independent to be willing to be considered nothing more than someone else’s possession.

Though the idea of belonging to Roman wasn’t that disagreeable. In fact, I rather liked the idea of decorating his body with my own. Before my mind could get lost in that delicious fantasy, Roman dropped his arm. I wondered if it was because he didn’t want me to feel like someone’s arm candy or because he didn’t want Trevor to get the wrong idea about us.