It's a Christmas Thing (The Christmas Tree Ranch #2)(45)

“Nothing’s going on out there,” Rush said.

“Since I’ve already got my coat on, I should probably be getting home,” Tracy said. “Thanks for your company. It’s been a great evening.”

“And I’ll thank you with every scrumptious bite of that leftover chocolate cake,” Conner said.

When Tracy walked into the living room, Maggie and Clara were practicing dance steps in front of the Christmas tree.

“Thanks again for inviting me, Maggie,” she said. “Clara, I’ll see you tomorrow. You can play with the kittens and help me make cookies.”

“And if it’s a good time, I’ll come by after work and bring you the gowns,” Maggie added.

“I know how busy you must be,” Tracy said. “If it’s too much bother—”

“Nonsense, it’ll be a pleasure,” Maggie said. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

“I’ll walk you to your car.” Rush opened the front door for her and lent an arm to help her down the rickety steps. Tracy walked beside him in silence. “Are you all right?” he asked. “If I spoiled a nice evening, I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Tracy said. “If I were a different woman, I’d be thanking my lucky stars for a man like you. But there are things—”

“Hush.” He opened the driver’s-side door and held it while she slipped behind the wheel. “If you were a different woman, Tracy, I wouldn’t be here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he closed the door and stepped back from the car. As Tracy switched on the headlights and drove out of the gate, an aching lump rose in her throat.

Why did life have to be so complicated?

When she undressed that night, Steve’s handsome face smiled at her from its leather frame. It’s only paper. It isn’t really him, she told herself as she buttoned her cotton pajamas. Yet she couldn’t help wondering what her husband would think if he knew she’d been kissing another man—and liking it.

Except for practical things like finances, insurance, and the house, they’d never discussed what she should do after he was gone. Would he want her to spend the rest of her life in mourning, or would he want her to move on and find happiness with someone new?

But no—that wasn’t the question she should be asking herself. It wasn’t what would Steve want her to do. It was what did she want to do?

After turning out the light, she lay in the darkness, remembering the heart-stopping sensation of Rush’s lips on hers. It had been all she could do to pull away from him. But a kiss was one thing. A lifetime was something else. And the most vital question of all lay between them, unasked and unanswered.

*

The next morning brought a drizzling rain, dashing the hope for snow. Before breakfast, Tracy took Murphy outside in her rain jacket. She had to help him to his favorite tree and back inside, where she dried his coat with a towel so he wouldn’t chill.

At 8:30, Rush brought Clara to the front door. “Thanks again,” he said. “Sorry I can’t come in. I’m already late for my first appointment. But I’ll see you when I pick Clara up.”

Then he was gone, splashing water beneath his boots as he strode down the sidewalk. He had barely met her eyes. Had last night made him uncomfortable? But that wasn’t like Rush. He was just in a hurry, Tracy told herself.

Clara made a beeline for the laundry room. Tracy could hear her laughing through the partly closed door. “Come see!” She ran back to Tracy, tugging her hand. “The kittens can climb out of the box! Ginger was the first one, and now they’re all doing it!”

“Wow, they’re supercharged.” The kittens were exploring the laundry room, scampering, creeping, and pouncing. “Where’s Rainbow?” Tracy asked.

“She’s eating.” Clara brightened. “Maybe the kittens can eat some food, too. They’ve all got teeth.”

“Let’s find out.” Tracy had bought a few cans of wet kitten food. In the kitchen, she opened one, scooped out the tuna-flavored mix, and spread it on a small paper plate. Keeping Rainbow distracted, she let Clara set the plate on the floor of the laundry room.

The kittens came running to check out the intriguing new smell. They sniffed, licked, nibbled, and became tiny carnivores. Their little tails quivered with pleasure as they devoured their first meat. “They love it!” Clara was giggling and clapping. “Look, they want more.”

The kittens were licking the paper plate, scratching it with their paws and looking up at Clara. “Can we give them another can?”

Tracy hesitated. “Let’s wait. Too much food before they’re used to it could make them sick. And they’ll still be drinking Rainbow’s milk for a while.”

“Does that mean they’ll soon be ready for new homes?” The excitement was gone from Clara’s voice.

“They still need to stop nursing, and I’m hoping Rainbow will teach them to use the litter box. But they’re growing up. It won’t be much longer.”

“Oh.” Clara picked up Snowflake, held him close to her shoulder, and rubbed her cheek against his velvety white head. She looked as if she were about to cry. “But I don’t want them to go.” A tear trickled down Clara’s cheek. “I thought it would be fun to find them new homes. But now I want them to stay here. And I want them to stay little. Rainbow will be so sad without her babies.”