It's All Relative(16)

Kai flicked a glance at her then took a sip of his drink. Jessie did the same. As the warm coffee soothed her throat, the feeling of horror in her stomach started to shift into something tragic. She could like this man. A lot. Her night with him had been amazing. But, even if they were the exact perfect match, and last night had been some fated meeting to bring them together, it couldn’t happen. They were related. They shared the same gene pool. Being with him in that way was wrong, taboo. Her friends would be disgusted. Her family would disown her…and him. They’d lose everyone. And she wasn’t sure, but there were probably laws somewhere, preventing and punishing the very thing that they’d done last night. Marriage was certainly out. As were children. That thought made her stomach roil again. God, no, their genes were too similar to ever risk children.

She sputtered on the sip of coffee she’d just taken, and her hand flew to her aching gut. She’d suddenly remembered the forgotten condom in her purse last night. While she was still on the pill and pregnancy wasn’t an issue, it brought that This is too gross to be true feeling right back to her.

Kai stopped drinking and stared at her as she choked on her awful vending machine coffee. “What?” he whispered.

With tears of frustration and revulsion in her eyes, she immediately told him, “A part of you is still inside me.” Embarrassment hit her after she said it, but it was what was churning her stomach at the moment. He had released inside of her. A part of her cousin was currently swimming through her body. Oh God…

Kai’s face turned so pale, Jessie thought he might be light-headed. Closing his marvelous eyes, he inhaled a long breath. “Jesus…” Without opening his eyes, he whispered, “Could you get pregnant?”

She shook her head, but he couldn’t see it, since his eyes were still shut. So he would know they were okay in that sense, she verbally added, “No, I take the pill, but it’s still grossing me out.”

Kai finally peeked his eyes opened and looked at her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t usually… Things like last night aren’t common for me. But, we didn’t know, Jessie. We didn’t know.”

With a heavy exhale, Jessie let her hand drop to her lap. “Things like that don’t happen to me either. I just… You were so…” She swallowed and shook her head. “This is so messed up.”

Looking pensive, Kai ran his thumb around the edge of his coffee cup. Jessie tried to block out the knowledge of the other places that thumb had been recently. Staring down at the thick, blackness inside his cup, he again said, “We didn’t know.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then he lifted his gaze. “You know, it’s not all that crazy.” He shrugged at seeing Jessie’s confused expression. “In some cultures, cousins are arranged to be married. Didn’t Jerry Lee Lewis marry his cousin?”

She wrinkled her nose. “We have the same last name. Sorry, that doesn’t make me feel any better. And Jerry Lee Lewis? Ew.”

Kai laughed, just once, and then released another melancholy breath. “I’m just trying to make this not seem so…”

“Awful,” Jessie whispered.

He shook his head, his eyes trailing over her face. “Yeah, awful.”

They finished their bland cups of coffee, and then Jessie started picking at her cup. Not sure what to feel right now, she alternated between disgust, sadness, desire, and curiosity. Feeling that the last emotion was the one she could entertain the most at the moment, she looked over to see Kai also tearing apart his cup. Their similar habit made her smile. “So…Hawaii? I hear it’s nice.”

“Yeah, it can be,” he said with a smile.

Jessie shook her head, trying not to notice the charm in his boyish grin. “I can’t imagine why you’d come to Colorado. If I lived in paradise, I’d never leave.”

His smile widened as he leaned back on the bench. “Well, once you’ve gone through a couple rainy seasons, you get a different opinion of island life.” He shrugged. “I guess you just get used to the beauty, once you’ve lived in it your whole life.

Jessie bit her lip, and for just a second she let herself think that she would never get used to his island beauty. Shaking her head to clear the troubling thought, she said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to go there.” She laughed. “I used to try and get my parents to visit yours every summer when I was younger. I wanted to learn how to surf so badly. I used to practice on the lawn.”

Kai laughed, but abruptly stopped when what she’d said sunk in. Parents. Family. Cousins. Jessie would have given anything to visit Kai as a kid, and that made everything they’d done last night seem that much weirder. Jessie cleared her throat. Would every topic be awkward? “Well, I hope you’re not too disappointed, living here.”

Kai stared at her in silence for a few seconds. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and full of meaning. “So far, it’s been pretty incredible.” He reached up and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. A lump formed in Jessie’s throat, and her eyes began to glisten as the back of his knuckle lingered on her cheek. Why did she have to be related to him?

Dropping his hand from her skin, Kai returned his gaze to his coffee. Surprisingly, Jessie instantly missed the contact. Voice soft, he told her, “Maybe it’s because I grew up on a beach, but I’ve always wanted to ski.” He looked up at her, and Jessie had to blink several times to clear her eyes. “Maybe you could teach me?”