It's All Relative(110)

“Isn’t this where Ricardo lives?” Harmony’s voice froze Jessie in place, with one foot on the sidewalk and one still inside. Oh God, she’d forgotten all about the fact that her roommates had been here before.

April scrunched her nose at Harmony while Jessie’s heart started thudding in her chest. “Ricardo?” April asked, confused. Then her eyes widened and she looked over at Jessie. “Oh, the Latin lover one night stand. We picked you up here that night?”

Jessie shook her head and shrugged. Drunken memory loss seemed like her best option. “I really have no idea. I doubt it was the same place.” Stumbling out of the vehicle, she prayed her friends didn’t start putting the pieces together now; she had enough turmoil going on inside.

Harmony leaned over the seat. “No, it was definitely this place. I remember the design on the door.” She let out an undignified snort. “Oh my God, how funny that Kai lives in the same building.” She grinned impishly at Jessie. “Do you think he knows Ricardo? Maybe they’ve run into each other in the hallway.”

April laughed at that and started humming, “It’s a Small World After All.” Eager to end the conversation, Jessie quickly said, “Can you guys take my stuff home?” Still humming, April nodded. Jessie paused a moment to appreciate the friends who had done so much to help her, and not just this morning either. She really was blessed. Giving them each a warm smile, she shook her head. “Thank you, guys so much for doing this. You both really mean a lot to me, I hope you know that.”

April tilted her head, then leaned out the door and pushed Jessie farther away. “Don’t get all mushy on me, I feel guilty enough.” She gave Jessie a quick wink, closed the door, then rolled down the window and blew her a kiss. “We love you too.”

Harmony agreed with her sentiment, then added, “Let us know if Kai is okay. He’s family, so, we love him too.”

Jessie nodded and waved as Harmony pulled away. She had no idea what she’d tell them about Kai. She didn’t want to have to manufacture an emergency, but she couldn’t tell them the real problem. Jessie was stuck in her lie and she really, really hated that feeling.

Walking through the door of Kai’s apartment building, her loud heart started pounding even harder, and her palms grew slick with sweat. Jessie didn’t know if they’d beaten him back here or not. Maybe he’d gotten home much earlier than she realized, and he’d already gone to the airport. Maybe he was already on a plane…leaving her. Woodenly, she shuffled to his door. She stood in front of it, listening for sounds. Something, anything. It was completely quiet though. Holding her breath, she raised a hand and knocked.

No one answered her. She tried again, louder, but still nothing. Feeling desperate, she wrestled with the doorknob, but it was locked. Her rational voice began screaming at her that Kai wasn’t in there so making more noise wouldn’t help anything, but her heart didn’t want to accept the possibility that she’d missed him. Not able to give up, she struck the door with the side of her hand. “Kai!”

“Jessie?”

The sound had come from down the hallway, and Jessie immediately turned toward it. Kai was standing in front of the elevator, staring at her like he was seeing a vision that couldn’t be real. Jessie let out a long, cleansing exhale. He was still here. She wasn’t too late. Emotionally exhausted, she sagged against his door as he slowly approached her. He was still carrying his bags from the trip, so he hadn’t even been home yet; she had beaten him. His face was worn, his eyes heavy with weariness. It seemed that he hadn’t slept at all.

Amazement was in his eyes as he stepped in front of her. “How…? What are you doing here?”

Straightening, Jessie took a step toward him. “You left? You just…left?”

Kai looked away, his shoulders slumping. “I had to, Jessie. I couldn’t stay. Not after…” His gaze on the floor, he pointed at his door. “Let’s go inside.” He dangled the keys in his hand and Jessie stepped aside so he could unlock his place. His body brushed against hers as he opened the door and stepped through, but he still kept his eyes from her.

Her heart hurting, her stomach churning, and fear permeating every cell, Jessie tentatively followed him into his apartment. The apartment. The place where this whole mess had started.

Kai set his bags down in the kitchen and leaned back against the counter with his hands carefully tucked behind him. Still not looking at her, he stared at the floor. As she closed the door behind her, she wanted to cry again. He couldn’t even look at her. Jessie stayed with her back against the door, forcefully ignoring the memory of her back being shoved against that door. Things were so different now than that night, back when he’d only been the elusive “Ricardo” that her friends loved to tease her about.

Her voice warbling, she finally broke the silence in the room. “Kai…?”

She couldn’t say any more than that, but it was enough to make Kai finally look at her. His eyes were wet. “I needed to get away from you, Jessie, because staring at you in that bed…all I wanted to do…was join you.”

Jessie closed her eyes; the words washing over her were as soothing as his hands had been earlier. He hadn’t fled in disgust. He’d fled from desire, from love. Opening her eyes, Jessie wondered if that was any better. His pained eyes confirmed that he didn’t think it was. He shook his head. “I can’t let myself cave into these feelings I have for you. It’s wrong, Jessie.” Kai shrugged, his expression tired and hopeless.