Intent(77)

“Anyway, the news of Margot’s pregnancy was a shock to both of us, but in different ways. Mom was furious with me. She was convinced Margot would ruin my life. The news woke me up, though. As stupid as it sounds, it made me realize I wasn’t a carefree kid anymore. I was an adult and I had adult responsibilities. And it freaked me the f*ck out.”

I can’t help but laugh at his blunt honesty. He chuckles behind me and I can feel him shaking his head.

“Anyway, I knew I couldn’t turn my back on her or my baby. But I also realized that I didn’t want to marry her, I didn’t want to spend my life with her. I’d be an active part of my baby’s life, I’d give support in any and every way, but I wouldn’t marry her. Most of her pregnancy was spent arguing over that fact. Margot kept pushing for it, and I withdrew from her more and more.

“When River was born, I was in the room. I cut the cord. I held her first. I instantly fell in love with her. And I couldn’t imagine not being in her life every day. Every other weekend and a couple of weeks during the summer wasn’t going to work for me, and I knew it from the second I laid eyes on her. So, against my better judgment, I decided to bite the bullet and marry Margot. Even if I didn’t love her, I loved my daughter enough to sacrifice my life to make hers happy.

“Before I said a word to Margot, I had a long talk with my mom about it. I was sick over it. Even the thought of giving Margot my last name turned my stomach, but I knew her well enough to know she’d withhold my visitation with River as much as she could get away with. Of course, Mom didn’t take my decision very well. She advised me, as my attorney, to wait and test Margot. See exactly what she’d do when she realized I honestly didn’t want to marry her.

“At first, Margot did exactly as I thought she would. She made one excuse after the other to keep me from seeing River. She wouldn’t answer the phone, wouldn’t answer the door, stayed away from home so I couldn’t find them. That only served to piss me off and her plan backfired on her. By preventing me from taking River home with me, that meant she was a round-the-clock babysitter. No breaks. No breathing room. No downtime. Being a single mom was harder than she thought, and she wasn’t cut out for it.

“I was concerned for River’s safety because Margot became even more unpredictable. Honestly, I didn’t know what she was capable of doing, and I just wanted to get my daughter away from her. Mom knew what was happening—there are so many eyes and ears in this small town—and she decided to take action on her own. She worked her magic, took Margot to court, and proved that she was an unfit mother. River was taken away from Margot and brought to me.

“Not that I didn’t appreciate it, but it was all done behind my back. Mom never said a word to me about it first. She didn’t consider how it would impact River, me, or Margot. She just elbowed her way in, took over, and made all the decisions that impacted my daughter’s life and my own life. We had a heated argument, and I ended it by telling her to stay out of my life for good. She moved to New York to work with a prestigious law firm but stayed in touch with Lily.”

“Did you really not want her in your life anymore?” I ask.

“At first, I said it out of anger. But when she moved away, River lost her grandmother and that fueled my anger all over again. Margot had already skipped town—but not before blaming me for why she was leaving. Guilt ate me alive. Apparently, I was a selfish bastard who just wanted his daughter all to himself. River didn’t have a mother or grandparents. Margot’s parents retired to Florida. My mother moved up north. So I closed my heart to everyone except River and Lily. Until you.”

“I’m surprised you gave me a chance, but I’m so thankful you did. And I’m glad you told me what happened. It helps me understand how all the pieces fit together a little better. What I don’t understand is why Marcia never told me about you. She could’ve told me when she offered me the cabin for a few months or during one of our weekly check-in calls. She wouldn’t have had to go into any details. Just a ‘Hey, my son lives next door’ would’ve sufficed,” I reply.

“Another way she manipulates and controls others. Withholding information. You’ve had weekly calls with her the whole time you’ve been here?”

“Mostly. We’ve missed a few weeks here and there. Like this week, obviously.”

“Have you told her about us dating?”

“Yes. Not intimate details, but enough information that there’s no doubt she knew it was you.”

“Lily would’ve told her, too. I’m sure Martha and Ralph called her before the wedding even started.”

“Why would they tell her?”

“They’re my aunt and uncle. Martha is my mom’s sister.”

“Oh my God. How did I not know that? Do I know you at all?”

“Of course you know me. I’m your husband. What more do you need to know than that?” He nuzzles his face into my neck, his lips press against my skin, his tongue tastes me. He turns me over on my back and uses his mouth to explore the rest of my body. I forget all about what we were talking about when I get lost in my husband, in his touch, in his love.



* * *



Ace and River are in the kitchen when I emerge from the shower. Ace is cooking breakfast and River is at the table drawing a picture. She looks up and smiles brightly at me. “Hi, Laynie.”