Intent(76)

Ace and I haven’t even addressed the pink, polka-dotted elephant in the room of Marcia being his estranged mother. She followed us home from the police station the day I found Zoe’s letter, but I was in no shape to get into that conversation at that point. She left to go back to wherever she’s staying and said she’d wait for us to contact her and let her know we’re ready to talk. I’d like to say I’m ready since she’s coming over today, but the truth is, I just want to get it over with once and for all.

“What are you doing up so early? It’s not even daylight yet.” Ace asks, his voice low so he doesn’t wake River.

“Can’t sleep.” I shrug one shoulder.

He kneels in front of me, gathers River in his arms, and takes her back to her bed. When he returns, I expect him to sit beside me and urge me to try to eat, to plan a fun day with River, or something similar to pull me from the deep funk I’ve been in. Instead, he hooks one arm under my knees and slips the other behind my back. Standing, he takes me with him and cradles me in his arms as he carries me back to our bedroom.

He carefully places me on the bed, controlling his movements as if I’m a china doll he’s afraid he’ll shatter, and climbs in to spoon me from behind. He slides his arm over my body until his hand is underneath my ribcage and he pulls our bodies together, as close as he can get us. “I’ve been a terrible husband these last few days and I’m so sorry. Please tell me I’m not losing you, because it feels like I am.”

His words strike a chord, his tone is so sincere and pained, and his embrace is so warm and welcome. How quickly I’d forgotten how much I need him and to feel him close to me so that I feel safe and whole myself. “You’re not losing me, Ace. I’m not exactly happy with how you handled this, though. I’ve been very open with you about my past—everything that happened with Bobby, my inability to get pregnant, and my pathetic attempt to get Bobby to marry me. Losing my mom and my non-relationship with my dad. I’ve shown you all of me, but now I wonder if I know you at all.”

“You know me better than anyone, baby. I swear I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. Lily asked me one day if I’d told you the whole story. Like I told her, there have been many times I wanted to tell you just so you’d understand my past, but the whole thing is such a sore topic it instantly puts me in a bad mood. I selfishly didn’t want to bring it up and put a damper on the new life we’re creating.”

“You are exactly what I want and need. I want to get lost in you so the outside world can’t touch us. But I can’t do that if I don’t really know you. You have to let me in, too. Shielding me from everything that makes you you won’t work for either of us.”

“Do you regret marrying me now? Do you feel like we jumped in too soon?”

“No, that’s not what I’m thinking at all. Are you? Do you regret how fast we got married?”

He squeezes me even tighter. “No, baby. Never. I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough. You’re right, I should’ve told you, included you, and let you see the good and the bad alike. I don’t want to wake up one morning and find all your stuff gone with no trace of you. Forgive me, baby.”

“Don’t ever do that to me again. You said we’ll get through this together. We do it all together, Ace. It’s an all-or-nothing deal.”

“You’re absolutely right. I swear, you’ll never feel left out of my life again. You are my life now and nothing is more important to me than you are.”

“Don’t leave River out.”

“I’m not. I’d give my life to protect River. But, as much as I hate to think of this, one day a man will come along and she’ll leave to create a life with him. So, while I get to keep her for many wonderful years, you’re mine for eternity.”

“That apology definitely helps your case.” I sniffle and wipe my eyes.

“Are you okay, Layne? I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve just had a lot of my shit thrown at you at once. Then all this happened with Zoe. I know you’re devastated over the adoption.”

“It’s not just about the adoption,” I admit. “I’d unofficially adopted Zoe, too. I love her like she’s my own. How could she just up and leave with no thought of how it would hurt me?”

“I don’t know for sure, but of course, I suspect Margot has a lot to do with this. Especially with what you heard her say to Zoe. Matt is on top of things, though. We may have a small-town police station, but he’s still good at his job. There are only so many places a very pregnant girl can hide.”

“That’s the other concern. She could go into labor at any time now. Who will be there to help her?”

“Don’t do that to yourself, baby. I’m already worried enough about you that I’m ready to take you to the doctor myself.”

“Tell me what happened between you and Marcia, then. Let me in to all of your life. And help take my mind off Zoe while you’re at it.”

He sighs heavily, preparing himself to relive whatever happened to drive them apart. “Mom didn’t like Margot from the start. She thought Margot was a spoiled, mean girl who thought she was entitled to everything because she came from a prominent family. She tried to dissuade me from dating her from day one. Of course, by then I was a grown man and made my own decisions. The more Mom pushed one way, the more I went the other. Because I was bullheaded and stupid.