Indigo Nights (Nights #3)(72)

“I have nothing that would ever stop me talking with you.”



Dylan

The reality of being apart from Beth for all these weeks had left me starving for her. Not being able to hear her voice, stroke her skin, breathe in the remnants of her baking that permeated her hair was torture. I knew with more certainty each and every day that I was prepared to do whatever I had to in order to win her back. And now here she was, taking the first step toward me. What we had felt so fragile, I didn’t want to push and scare her off, but all I wanted to do was pull her against me so I could feel her heartbeat next to mine.

I resisted. “Let me get rid of my carry-on.” I turned and quickly left my suitcase with the concierge before returning to Beth.

I glanced around the lobby. “Should we go and have some cake? Or we could go for a walk. It’s cold, but sunny.”

“A walk sounds good.”

I smiled, wanting to see in her eyes what she was thinking. Had she come to me knowing how this would play out? Was she going to try to send me home? I had to suppress my impatience, and stop myself from asking her to skip to the heart of the matter. Instead, I gestured to the hotel exit. “Shall we?”

She nodded and stuffed her hands in her pockets. We descended the small stoop, then headed north up Portland Place. We walked slowly in silence, our eyes firmly on the path in front of us. I so desperately wanted to touch her. I’d been hoping for this opportunity for so long and now that it was here, I didn’t want to f*ck it up. I took a deep breath. “I—do you want me to . . . Can I explain?”

“You don’t need to. I’ve heard what you’ve said, and I’ve thought about nothing else—”

Had I lost her?

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked. Her hair fell over her face. I longed to see her eyes, and perhaps forgiveness in them.

“You can ask me anything,” I replied.

“What was lunch like?”

“With Alicia? Honestly?”

She turned to me, her eyebrow raised.

“Sorry, of course. It was okay. Good, even.”

Beth stopped in her tracks and covered her face. I tried to pull her hands away. “Good because I realized how I’d been angry at her for all these years for no reason. I don’t care enough to hate her anymore.” My fingers finally persuaded her hands from her face, revealing glassy eyes. I stroked my thumbs over her cheekbones, brushing my favorite part of her, the beauty spot on her left cheekbone. “And in a way I was even grateful because if Alicia and I had gone through with the wedding, I wouldn’t have met you.”

She tilted her head and closed her eyes, yielding to my touch. My body filled with relief. I allowed myself to hope she believed me.

She sighed and moved away from me, restarting our walk.

I did everything I could to resist pushing her, asking if she forgave me.

“And Raine Media? Did you have anything to do with my contract, or their second offer?”

I pushed my hands through my hair. “No, I really didn’t. I don’t have time to get involved with that kind of detail. And anyway, I’ve seen your videos and tasted your baking. You don’t need my help.”

Beth tucked her hair around her ears as we continued to walk forward in silence.

“I’m learning how to do this, the relationship thing. Alicia and I were kids when we started dating. You know there’s been no one serious for me since then—except you. I’m really sorry, Beth. Please don’t give up on us.”

She stopped again just as a woman walking her Highland Terrier came from the opposite direction. I moved to the side to let the woman pass. I could feel Beth’s stare as I nodded and something stopped me from looking back at her. I was worried about what I might find. I couldn’t bear to see that hurt look in her eyes I’d spotted back in the restaurant when she’d seen me with Alicia. I couldn’t handle it if I saw coldness. So much of her beauty came from her warmth. I didn’t want to be the guy who changed that. “You can’t know how sorry I am,” I said, focusing beyond her shoulder.

She tugged at my lapel and I could resist her no longer. “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered as she gazed up at me, her eyes sad but still warm.

I shook my head. “No, you have nothing—”

She placed her index finger over my lips to stop me. “You’ve made your apology. Now let me make mine.”

She’d done nothing wrong, what did she have to apologize for? My gut clenched. I hoped she wasn’t about to tell me there was someone else.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just run away. I should have stayed so we could talk. But more than that, I’m sorry for being so hard on you. You’ve borne the brunt of a hell of a lot of baggage.” She tugged on both lapels of my coat. “Haven pointed out that I was overcorrecting, and she was right. I was so concerned that what happened with Louis didn’t happen again, so determined not to go back to the weak Beth I’d been before, that as soon as things were anything less than perfect, I threw in the towel.” She slid her hands over my shoulders. Even through my coat, my skin lit up from her touch. I was mesmerized by her beautiful red pout and the way her lips pushed together and out with each word. “The way you’ve treated me . . . you deserved a fair hearing, and I didn’t give you that. I didn’t trust my judgment; I’m sorry for that. I knew you better than I let myself believe.”