If I Only Knew(23)

And so it begins.





Chapter Eleven





Milo





I don’t know why I’m sitting here, wanting to comfort her.

It’s unlike me in every way.

Danielle has a life that I want no part of. She’s a widow, with kids, and it’s clear what type of life she wants to live. She wants the husband to adore her, raise children as a unit—well, that’s not me.

I’m reckless in every facet of my life. I like adventure, sex, and having zero responsibilities. My family likes to say I’m immature, while I would rather say I’m stubborn and smart. Why tie myself down when I was meant to soar?

Stupid really, if you think about it. I would be doing whoever was daft enough to love me a disservice.

Danielle starts to fidget with her hands, and I cover them with my own.

She looks up, and I squeeze a little. “Are you all right?”

It’s clear she’s not, but she nods anyway.

I move my hand back to my lap, pretending I don’t feel a protective urge when it comes to her. She joked about assaulting the bastard sitting on the other side of this railing, but it was me who had to grip the seat to stop myself from doing just that. The opening arguments were hard to listen to. They described Peter sitting in his office at his desk, how he was facing the photos that lined his desk with his family before him. The picture was clear, I would’ve thought I was there, watching this man walk in, raise his gun, and ending Peter’s life. When I saw her tears, I almost went into a fit of rage. It’s ridiculous that a woman I barely know makes me lose control.

But here I am, sitting beside her, wanting to find a way to ease any of her pain.

“Okay, I’d like to call a recess for the day. Trial will resume tomorrow at nine,” the judge says and bangs the gavel.

Danielle shifts to face the three women, including my sister-in-law, behind her. They start to chat, and I sit here, berating myself for thinking any of this was brilliant. I should’ve stayed at the office and worked on outdoing Danielle. I shouldn’t be in a courtroom with her.

I shouldn’t be doing a lot of things that I can’t seem to stop myself from doing.

“Ready?” Danielle asks.

“Yes, of course.” I get to my feet and follow her out.

Immediately, the brunette hooks her arm with Danielle’s and makes her way forward. Nicole and another blonde are at the end. I start to move down the aisle, but someone grips my forearm.

“Can I help you?” I ask Nicole.

“What’s your game?”

“Game?”

The blonde huffs and crosses her arm. “Whatever you’re doing, don’t,” she warns.

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about,” I say.

Nicole takes a step close, and though she’s much smaller than me, she’s quite scary at the moment. “She’s like a sister to me. She’s family.”

“Well, dear sister-in-law, we are as well,” I point out.

“But I like her.”

“I’m wounded.” I clutch my chest.

“Yes, you will be,” she threatens. “Heather is a cop and knows all the best places to bury a body.”

I look over to the blonde who just nods with a smile. “Understood,” I say.

“Good.” Nicole smiles and hooks her arm with mine. “Now that we’ve got that settled, tell me all the dirt on Callum that I can use against him later.”

I laugh hard. “I might just love you.”

She looks up with a grin. “I don’t doubt you will.”

Seems my brother has beat me in yet another aspect of life. He’s found a woman who is clearly amazing.

Nicole and I exit past where Danielle stands, her brunette friend comforting her. I try to imagine how today must’ve felt for her, but I can’t.

This man knew her husband on some level. He was aware that Peter had a wife and family, but because he was facing a possibility of jail time and couldn’t handle his rage, he killed the person who was defending his worthless life.

He’s a pitiful soul.

“Thanks for being here,” Danielle says to her friends.

“Of course we’re here, dumbass.”

Danielle’s lip starts to tremble and a tear falls. “I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t know if I could do it, so if I didn’t tell you, it wasn’t real.”

Nicole releases my arm and rushes to her. “We get it, but you never have to hide with us. If you couldn’t do it, we would’ve stayed at your house and watched movies.”

Fucking hell. Who has friends like this? Not me, that’s for damn sure. My mates were more worried about beer and sex than even asking how I was after my father died. Callum was at university and thought I needed to step up more.

No one understood how it felt or cared for that matter. I was filled with rage at the incident. I wanted justice, answers, for him to come back.

I needed someone to give a damn, but they didn’t. So I got angrier, drank more, and gave the world the middle finger.

I turned out just fine if you ask me.

“I’m so sorry. I love you guys,” Danielle cries harder.

Women.

“I don’t know about all of you,” I say, breaking their tearful moment. “But I think we could all do well with a pint or two?” No one answers. In fact, they stand there as if I’m speaking another language. “You know, we should get pissed?” I clarify.