Hush (Black Lotus #3)(69)

I don’t know where I’m relocating or what my new identity will be, but I need you to let me go. Please don’t try to find me. I don’t say this because I don’t love you. I’m saying it to save you. After you read this letter, I need you to destroy it because no one can ever know that I’m alive.

These past few days were a gift. It was never supposed to happen, but it did, and I will forever be thankful that I have a daughter that fought her way to find me. You are strong and beautiful and smart, and you are destined to do great things. Promise me, you won’t let my mistakes stand in your way.

I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you. There hasn’t been a single second that you haven’t been in my heart. You are irreplaceable and unforgettable. I need you to believe that.

I’m going to take you to the beach tomorrow. I’m going to hold your hand. I’m going to make you smile. And whatever I wind up saying to you, I need you to hold on tightly to those words and carry them with you through your life.

You’re my forever princess.

I love you,

Dad

I drop the paper that’s covered in my tears and fall against Declan. He envelops me and I sob. There’s nothing for me to say, so I let pain devour me. It strangulates and paralyzes, cutting fresh wounds in my soul, marking me with this pain for life.

I want to drown in it.

I want to escape from it.

I’m all over the place.

The vacancy inside of me is about to surpass my body’s elasticity, and I grow desperate to fill the void I fear will be the death of me.

I cling to Declan, slinging my leg over his hip and pulling him against me as we slip down in the bed. Drawing my head back, I look through my tears at his blurred face.

“Breathe.” His hushed voice lulls, and while he wipes the tears that continue to fall, I give myself the time I need to settle myself down.

The pounding of my heart transitions into neediness, I pull Declan’s head to mine and kiss him. He lets me control it, and I keep it soft and move slow. My lips meld with his, and he brings my body in even closer.

I feel a few lingering tears as they slip out and fall down the sides of my face and into my hair.

He rolls on top of me, parting my lips with his tongue and dipping it into my mouth. With my hands getting lost in his hair, I pull him down on me, needing to feel his weight on top of me. We continue to kiss in this new way. There’s no urgency or need for control. Declan drags his lips from mine and runs them down my neck before he breaks the kiss and looks down at me.

I gaze up at him, desperate for this closeness, and make my request.

“Show me how tender you can be.”

I know I’m asking a lot. Declan isn’t one who feels safe when he opens himself up to vulnerability, but I need this. For this moment, I need him to love me in this way—stripped down and free from the barriers he likes to keep on me.

I watch as his eyes soften, and when he gives me a nod, he drops his lips back down to mine. My hands roam freely, something he never allows because I’m always restrained. I slip them under his shirt and feel his abs flex from my touch. We undress each other slowly and soon our clothes are on the floor.

Flesh against flesh, his skin heats mine. He keeps his touches soft, taking my breasts in his hands. His breath ghosts over them and over my puckered nipples before taking one of them between his lips. He sucks lovingly and the sensation causes my back to bow off the bed and into him. My eyes fall shut, and with my hands running along the dips of his muscular arms, I release a breathy moan.

He moves to my other nipple, showing it the same affection before dragging his hot tongue down my stomach. When he reaches the curve of my *, he puts his hands on each thigh and spreads my legs.

“God, I love this part of you,” he whispers in a husky voice.

I move my eyes down to him and watch as he stares at my *. I reach both of my hands down to him and he takes them in his, lacing his fingers through mine. And before he makes his move, he lifts his eyes and fixes them to mine. We watch each other as he holds my hands and dips his tongue into the slit of my *. He sends a sizzling current through my whole body.

He moves painfully slow.

I spread my legs wider as he laps and kisses and sucks. Every movement softer than the one before. He groans from deep inside his chest, and when his tongue slides inside of my body, I can’t hold on. I mewl in pure ecstasy and grind myself over his face, clutching my fingers around his hands. I grow hotter as he sparks the live wire in my soul, the one that incessantly aches for him.

He moves his lips to my thighs, dropping whispery kisses over every inch of my skin as he lets go of my one hand and drags the wet arousal out from inside of me with his finger and uses it to rub my clit.

Our bodies move together and we’re unrushed, unmasked, and completely exposed.

When he finds his way back up to me, I hold his face in mine and kiss him deeply, fusing my lips with his as I glide my tongue along his. He settles himself between my legs, his hard cock pressing against me.

“I want it real slow,” I tell him.

“How slow, baby?”

“So slow I can feel you entering my soul.”

He reaches down and holds himself in his hand.

Never has the sensation been more intense than in this very moment as he pushes inside me.

It’s exquisite.

It’s torturous.