Hothouse Flower (Addicted #4)(18)

His eyebrows rise. “Funny. But love isn’t causing you these problems.”

“How do you know?” I ask.

He extends his arms. “I’m sorry, where are all the guys you’ve been dating while I’ve been sleeping in your f*cking bed?”

“I could be in love with you.” I throw out this line, wondering if he’ll reel me in, but he just gives me a hard stare.

“Are you?” he taunts back, not stepping down from this.

He puts me on the defensive. I want to say yes. But am I in love with Ryke? How do I know? “I’m not sure.”

“Well, be damn f*cking sure about this,” Ryke says, “any love that I f*cking give will never hurt a woman.” He passes the bowl to me, cold in my hands. “Eat your cereal.”

Seriousness blankets the kitchen once more. “You heard my mom this morning.” She bruised my hip she pinched my skin so hard.

“Yeah.” His eyebrows rise. “Fuck your mom.”

“Hey,” I snap.

“Hey what? She’s nothing but cruel to Lily. She fights with Rose constantly. And she treats you like you’re a little f*cking doll she likes to dress up and show off. It drives me f*cking nuts watching you do things you hate just to please other people.”

I’m not a fan of modeling, not when I have to stand still for so long. I just get restless. So I can’t argue against his point. “It’s different when peoples’ careers are on the line. Fashion designers and agents are counting on me. If I can’t fit into the clothes, then I’m not just disappointing myself but I’m hurting them.”

I search his eyes, but all I see is that familiar stone that Lily talks about. She says his brother is ice. All sharp. But Ryke, he’s like the rocks he climbs—just hard.

“Don’t be a f*cking mannequin.”

“I’m not.”

“Really? Because I see a girl who has another person’s thoughts, another person’s desires and dreams.”

“I think that’s a puppet.”

“Don’t be a f*cking puppet then.”

My eyes fall to the cereal. I’ve heard him speak with this conviction before, but this time, it barrels into me like the biggest truth of all. “Maybe after Fashion Week, I’ll tell her how I feel again.” Maybe I can finally stand up to my mom. “Why are you so passionate about this anyway?” I ask, expecting him to say something like because I care about you.

Instead he says, “I’ve been there with my own mother. It’s not f*cking fun.”

He hardly talks about Sara Hale, mostly because of what happened a couple years ago. Mostly because she changed all of our lives. And I’m not sure it was all for the better.

“Eat your f*cking cereal,” he says roughly.

I do. Four spoonfuls later, Ryke looks pleased. I like when he’s satisfied. I like when I do right by all people, but it’s just hard when my mom stands at one end and my sisters, Ryke, Connor and Lo stand at the other.

They outnumber her, but my mom raised me. Isn’t that a trump card?

He watches me eat, making sure that I’m not fibbing. “This cereal sucks,” I tell him on the tenth bite.

“It’s healthy, but if you want chocolate, there’s ice cream in the freezer.”

I practically moan. “Don’t tempt me.”

He almost smiles. “After Fashion Week, you promise you’ll talk to her?”

I nod. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Don’t yeah me twice,” he retorts.

“Why, because it’s redundant?”

He leans close, his arms on either side of the counter, on either side of me. “Because it sounds fake, sweetheart.”

“So if I moan twice—”

He covers my mouth with his large hand, enveloping my cheeks and jaw. “Don’t go there, not tonight.”

I do ride that line a little too much. We tempt and tease each other with knowledge that nothing more can happen. It’s our dynamic.

I finish off most of the cereal, leaving the soggy clumps of granola floating in the milk. “I’m sorry about the garage. I pushed you too far.” I set down the bowl and hop off the counter. He’s right there, not moving from this spot. His hands still on the counter.

I’m closer to him than before.

“No you didn’t,” he says. “If I f*cking wanted to be with you like that, I would have by now. You’ve been eighteen for six months.”

This shouldn’t hurt, but his words knot my stomach, the granola rising to my throat. I swallow it back down. I think wanting is a little different than doing. I thought he wanted to like me, but he knew he couldn’t. But that’s not right. He’s never really expressed any attraction towards me. We flirt sometimes, but he’s never gotten hard or aroused by me.

At least not that I’ve seen.

I want to test it.

I shouldn’t, but I’m curious. I don’t know how else to see if he shares the same attraction. He doesn’t show it in his eyes the way I do.

He’s close enough that all I have to do is wrap my arms around his chest for a hug. He’s my wolf, and I seriously wonder if he’ll bite me today. I don’t think twice. I hug him, and his body goes rigid. I look up, neither of us retracting.