Heartbreaker(25)

“I know, it’s first world problems. This hot famous guy is determined to seduce me,” I admit, not quite believing it myself. “So what can I do? You see, I’m doomed either way!”

“Banged if you do, damned if you don’t,” she agrees.

I throw a pillow at her, then catch sight of the clock on the wall. It’s past seven thirty – and I’m wearing laundry-day shorts and a faded old tank. “Whatever I pick, I have to decide in the next ten minutes before he shows up here, and my will-power goes out the window for good.”

Delilah stops laughing and looks at me seriously for a moment. She pauses, like she’s deciding what to say.

“Spit it out,” I tell her. “I mean it, I want to know what you think.”

Dee sighs. “Is he the reason you’ve been hiding away?” she asks.

I frown. “I’m not hiding.”

“You know what I mean. Hanging back, not getting out there. Being so… careful. I always wondered, but you never seem to want to open up about this stuff, not for real.”

I could argue, but there’s no point. She’s right. I swallow, and look away. “Maybe.”

“Then this could be your chance,” she says. “To do something fun for a change, to take a risk. Put the past behind you, and wipe the slate clean. Maybe it’ll be a mistake,” she adds quickly, before I can cut her off. “Maybe it’ll end in tears again, or hurt like hell. But you’re hurting like this, aren’t you? Wondering ‘what if’. You can’t keep letting life pass you by, Eva,” she continues gently. “And if Finn McKay is your way of getting back in the game, so be it. What have you got to lose? That body won’t stay perky forever,” she adds with a wink. “You may as well show it off while you have the chance.”

I laugh, and go to clear our junk food remains, but her words linger.

What do I have to lose?

Delilah doesn’t even know what she’s saying, but how could she? She thinks we’re only talking about a broken heart here, which would be bad enough. She doesn’t know what else I lost after Finn left, and how a part of me is still aching for everything that could have been.

But she’s right about everything else. He abroke my heart once, but I don’t have to give it to him again this time. Wipe the slate clean. It’s tempting, I know. Whatever I choose, I’ll still be stuck with this echo of my old pain, and if the last few days have shown me anything it’s that the worst part of all is not knowing why he left.

This is my chance to find out why.

I check the clock. Seven forty-five. “Damn,” I curse. “Couldn’t we have figured this out an hour ago?”

Delilah gasps. “So you’re going to do it? Yay!” she leaps up, clapping her hands together. “OK, you go shower, I’ll pick your outfit.” She shoos me up the stairs. “And don’t forget to shave!” she yells. “And I mean everywhere!”



One quick-change, three discarded outfits, and a lightening fast hairstyle later, and I’m just about ready – and so is the flock of butterflies currently fluttering around in my stomach. I’ve changed my mind so many times about what I’m doing that I’ve lost track of any clarity I briefly had. All I know is that I can’t keep trying to avoid Finn. He won’t let me, and I can’t move on in any way without facing this thing between us head on.

Right at eight, there’s a knock at the front door. I freeze, lip-gloss halfway to my mouth. “I’ll go,” Delilah grins, and thunders downstairs. “Hello, big shot,” I hear her greet him, opening the door.

I swallow back my nerves and quickly finish my makeup. It’s just a simple coat of mascara and some concealer to hide the shadows under my eyes, but I still feel like I’m all dressed up, wearing a pretty blue sundress and my denim jacket. As a rumble of conversation comes from below, I can’t help flashing back to that New Year’s Eve. How I pulled my clothes on and slipped downstairs with my heart pounding and my skin tingling with anticipation. Everything before then I could pretend was an accident, just a simple twist of fate. That was the first time I made a clear choice. That I wanted this.

Wanted him.

Now I feel it all over again as I head downstairs. Finn is waiting by the door, and just the sight of him makes my stomach do a slow flip. Damn, he looks good in that pale blue button-down with jeans, so casual and hot. His hair is slicked back and there’s nothing to hide the intensity in his eyes. I feel them on me, drinking me in, and I have to look away and focus on putting one foot in front of the other so I don’t lose my balance and land face-first at his feet.

“Hi,” I gulp, reaching the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey.”

I look up, and get the full force of his sexy smile. All my dreams of self control fly right out the window.

He looks too good to be true.

“Now you kids behave.” Delilah grins, clearly enjoying her moment as the responsible adult in this picture. “Stay out late, go crazy, and don’t have her back by midnight.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Finn salutes, then holds the door open for me. “Ready?”

I inhale in a rush. Nowhere close, but it’s too late to turn back now. My feet are moving like they have a mind of their own, my body revealing what it wants, even as my mind wrestles with the truth. I nod, and step outside.