Hard to Fight (Alpha's Heart, #1)(55)

Raide’s jaw ticks and his eyes grow angrier. “What did you think I was going to do? Give you another chance?”

“No, because people like you don’t give second chances. You just do whatever suits you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he growls.

I shake my head. “It means you don’t listen, you don’t care, and you don’t do anything for anyone but yourself.”

His eyes widen and his jaw clenches. “So the last few months I’ve been chasing my sister’s killer, that was all a big, selfish act?”

“It wasn’t then. It is now.”

“What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?”

“You didn’t have me then. You had nothing to fight for. Now you do, and if you go away, that means I’m going to lose the only man I’ve ever cared about. So yes, it’s selfish. It’s selfish of you never to think about those who are going to lose you. It’s selfish for you not to tell the police the truth. It’s selfish for you to put yourself in this position!”

His entire body jerks. “I’m f*cking selfish?” he roars. “What about you?”

“I never said I wasn’t,” I whisper. “God dammit, I never said I wasn’t.” My voice rises. “I’m selfish because f*ck, I care about you and I shouldn’t. I’m selfish because I begged for this job, I told them I could do it, I told them I was good enough and I failed. I failed because I put my needs before my job. I’m selfish, Raide. I never claimed I wasn’t, but at least I can admit it. You just live in your own little world. Did you even care about me? Or was I just some fun on your travels?”

He stares at me. Really stares. Then he leans forward and hisses, “You’ll never, ever f*ckin’ know.”

God damn him. Arrogant jerk.

I shake my head and shuffle back against the wall. I drop my head in my hands and fight back the tears. Fuck Raide. Fuck this situation. This’ll teach me to care about someone who is never going to return the favor. I’m so angry at him. How dare he make me feel like doing my job was the worst thing in the world! My pain quickly turns to rage and I push to my feet, storming over to him.

“You know what?” I screech. “Fuck you, Raide Knox! I was doing my job. I didn’t do anything wrong except fall in love with you, you arrogant prick. I made a mistake but you’re making a mistake every damned day of your life. You’re running from reality. You’re going to put yourself away with blood on your hands because you can’t let go, because you don’t care enough about the people who are still here. So screw you! I don’t regret what I am. I don’t.”

I lash out to shove him, but his hand shoots up and he catches my wrist. He pulls me down so quickly, I’m flat on my back before I realize he’s over me. I gasp and squirm, but there’s no point. He’s heavy and he’s determined.

He leans down close—so close, our lips are only millimeters apart. “You don’t get to pretend you know me,” he rasps, and God, he smells good. “There’s only one thing I’ll be running from when this is finished, and that’ll be you.”

My heart cracks open and I turn my face to the side. Tears leak out and run down my cheeks.

“Fuck,” he mutters.

“Get off me,” I whisper.

“Grace—”

“Now!” I scream so loudly, he flinches. He pushes off me and I scurry out from beneath him. I walk over to the corner and drop down, turning my back to him. My heart is throbbing and my entire world has been tipped upside down. Yes, it’s all my fault, but knowing that doesn’t take away the agony lying deep in my chest. I just want to go home. I want to forget this ever happened, but most of all, I want to forget Raide f*cking Knox.

*

I wake with a start when the door swings open and three men enter. Not one of them is Dean. I look from one to the other and size them up. Two have guns, so that’s not good. One is apparently weaponless, but he’s big and he looks mean. He steps forward, and when the light flicks on, I see he’s got a bald head and seriously black eyes. I shiver and sit up, wrapping my arms around my knees.

I flick Raide a glance, but he’s got his hardened eyes on the three men. “Where’s Dean?” he barks.

“Don’t know who you’re talking about,” the bald man mutters.

What? “He brought me here,” I say softly. “I remember him.”

“No idea,” the man growls, leaning down, “what you’re talkin’ about.”

“That smart son of a bitch,” Raide snarls.

I don’t understand. I must be missing something.

“Now, you two are going on a nice road trip, then a boat trip, then a swimming vacation at the bottom of the ocean.”

My heart leaps. What? My eyes turn to Raide again and he’s staring at me now. He doesn’t look scared, but he certainly doesn’t look too pleased either.

“Dean tell you to do that?” he finally says to Baldy.

“No idea who Dean is. Just got told I need to do this. Girl goes first. I was instructed you’re to watch her die.”

I flinch.

“No idea why you’d be told that. I don’t even f*ckin’ know her,” Raide mutters.

They all raise their brows. “That so?”