Gone (Deadly Secrets #2)(5)
She tried to push out of Jeremy’s arms, but he sighed and pulled her close once more, trapping her in a claustrophobic embrace that made her want to scream. “I’m so sorry, darling.”
Alec’s gaze shifted from the back of Jeremy’s head to Raegan, and the minute their eyes locked and she saw the disappointment in his, guilt rushed in, forming a hard knot in her belly.
She eased out of Jeremy’s arms and swiped at the perspiration forming along her forehead. “Um, Jeremy, this is Alec.”
Jeremy turned on his news-personality charm as if Alec were another mindless viewer, and reached for Alec’s hand. “McClane, right? Saw a spread you did on the refugee situation in Kenya in Newsweek. Interesting choice. The real refugee story’s in Europe right now, don’t you think?”
Alec’s eyes narrowed, and Raegan tensed all over again because she recognized that look as disdain. “I’ve never been interested in reporting what’s popular at the moment.” He dropped Jeremy’s hand. “Who are you again?”
“Oh, sorry.” Jeremy smiled and wrapped an arm around Raegan’s shoulders in what she knew was a possessive move. “Jeremy Norris. Station manager at KTVP.”
Alec’s gaze shot to Raegan, and she winced when she read the you’re dating your boss? disbelief in his eyes.
Raegan glanced at Jeremy, desperate to get out of this uncomfortable situation. “I’m almost done here. Would you do me a favor and get me a water from the gift shop around the corner?”
“Sure.” Jeremy leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Anything for my girl.” He looked toward Alec. “McClane.”
Alec frowned but nodded. “Norris.”
Jeremy finally let go of her and headed back down the hall. Mortified that had all just happened, Raegan swiped at her forehead again and said, “Sorry. I didn’t call him. Someone at the station must have told him why I left work.”
“Yeah.”
Alec’s expression didn’t soften, and his shoulders seemed even tighter than before. Guilt consumed Raegan. A guilt she had no reason to feel.
She looked down at her pumps, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “I, um, was surprised when I came out and saw you. I thought you’d be gone already.”
He glanced down the hall where Jeremy had been. “Kinda wishing I had been.” She winced again as he looked back at her. “Guess I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She almost laughed. She hadn’t been okay for three and a half years. Wasn’t sure she ever would be again. And he had to know that. “I’m a big girl, Alec. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Contrary to what you think, I do. Especially with this.”
Her gaze lifted, and when their eyes met and she saw the regret lurking in his, every emotion she’d endured over the last three years hit her smack dab in the center of her chest until all she knew was loss.
She blinked back the sting of tears and looked away, knowing that, with Alec, there would never be anything but the reminder of that loss, no matter how much she craved something more.
“Well, I’d better go,” she said weakly.
“Yeah, me too.” He stepped back. “Take care, Raegan.”
Cool air washed over her, replacing all the sultry heat she’d felt near him, and rejection—a familiar, bitter rejection—hardened like ice in her belly. One she thought she’d gotten over. One that, even now, chilled her to the bone.
She swallowed the rejection back. Repeated the mantra in her head, the one that had gotten her through the worst of times: Be tough. You can get through this. Even managed to say, “You too.”
But as she turned and walked away, she knew that loss was going to consume her all over again. She just hoped it happened when she was alone tonight and not where anyone could see.
CHAPTER TWO
Alec’s stomach rolled as he waited in the visitor’s room at the Santiam Correctional Institution. The room was big, with a series of tables and chairs littered throughout the space. As it was Saturday, thirty minutes before the afternoon visiting hours were up, several of those tables were occupied by inmates, spouses, and children.
Alec looked away from a woman bouncing a small girl on her knee while she spoke with a man dressed in an orange jumpsuit seated across from her. The woman could have been Raegan from the back. Or maybe Alec was just hallucinating after seeing Raegan at the hospital.
Damn, but he hadn’t needed that today. Hadn’t needed the in-your-face reminder that she’d moved on and he had no one to blame for that but himself. She deserved to find a scrap of happiness in this world, and he had nothing to complain about, considering the number of women he’d dated. But none of his so-called dates ever got close to being serious. Raegan’s relationship with that dumbass Norris had looked serious. That whatever-they-were-to-each-other had looked serious as hell.
The heavy door across the room opened, and a corrections officer walked in with John Gilbert at his side.
Alec tensed, and all thoughts of Raegan faded into the background.
John Gilbert scanned the room with his muddy blue eyes, spotted Alec, and smiled a malicious grin. He was roughly Alec’s height, close to six two, and their eyes were both blue, though different shades. That was where the similarities ended. Gilbert’s skin tone was a shade darker than Alec’s, his hair a dingy brown instead of blond, and he was thin and bony, whereas Alec was strong and muscular. But even without the effects of years of drug use, Alec knew his looks came from his biological mother. A mother who’d cared about him so much, she’d dumped him with this prick and taken off to he didn’t know where.