Gone (Deadly Secrets #2)(10)

“Who’s we?” Ethan asked long minutes later.

“What?”

“You said ‘while we were at the hospital.’ Who’s we?”

Alec’s chest squeezed tighter. “Raegan.”

“Ah.”

Alec hated the way that one word sounded. Dripping with pity and understanding.

“I take it things with Raegan didn’t go so well,” Ethan said quietly.

Alec’s jaw flexed as he thought of Raegan standing in that hallway, looking gorgeous and broken all at the same time, and how much he’d wanted to wrap his arms around her and console her. “It went fine.”

“Fine,” Ethan repeated. “Which explains why you’re standing out here in the cold, looking like you’re ready to knock over a liquor store.”

Alec scowled. “Fuck you, doc.”

Ethan smirked and slipped his hands back in the pockets of his slacks. “You know, maybe it’s a good thing you saw her. It’s been almost three years since the divorce. You were bound to run into her again at some point. Portland’s not that big a city.”

Three years felt the same as one day, but Alec didn’t tell his brother that. He stared out at the twinkling view again. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Alec.” Ethan’s voice softened. “You have to stop beating yourself up over this. Emma’s disappearance was not your fault. She could have wandered away from any of us. She could have wandered away from Raegan if she’d been the one at the park with her that day. I’m sure in the three years you two have been apart Raegan has realized that. I’m sure she’s forgiven you.”

Alec couldn’t stop the pitiful laugh that pushed up his throat. Or the sharp stab right through the center of his chest where his heart used to be. “That’s where you’re wrong, smart guy. She never blamed me. She said the same damn thing you just did. Right from the start. But that’s the thing.” He looked over at his brother. “I’m the one who can’t forgive her for that. Because no matter what you or she or anyone else says, it was my fault. And she of all people should know that.”

He couldn’t take this anymore. Couldn’t stand here and rehash the past because his chest was on fire. He pushed away from the railing.

“Alec, wait.”

He didn’t. As he headed back into the party he didn’t want to be a part of, he told himself he could get through this night the same way he’d gotten through every night for the last three years.

By sheer strength of will, even if he was holding on to life by nothing more than a fraying thread.





CHAPTER THREE


Raegan swirled her wine and watched the crimson liquid stick to the sides of the glass and then settle in the bottom and still.

That was how she felt. On the verge of something, swirling and waiting.

“Raegan.”

She looked up at the sound of Jeremy’s voice and glanced to her right. “Yes?”

A perplexed expression pulled at his features. “I called your name three times. Are you daydreaming?”

“No.”

“You’ve barely eaten.”

She glanced down at the salad she’d moved around with her fork and let go of her wine. “Oh. Just thinking, I guess.”

She took a bite that tasted like cardboard and tried to smile. When Jeremy only frowned, she knew her smile had come out as a scowl.

“Sorry she’s such a downer,” Jeremy said to Greg Jamison across the table. “She ran into her ex today.”

Shock rippled through Raegan. He was blaming her mood on Alec. Not on the fact that she’d thought she’d found her daughter, only to have that hope crushed at her feet.

Jamison’s eyes widened, drawing Raegan’s attention, and she knew the fifty-year-old anchor was trying to lift his brows, but his forehead didn’t even move thanks to his regular Botox injections. “That’s gotta suck.”

Chloe Hampton, the twentysomething weather girl Jamison was currently dating, tossed back the last of her second wine and set the empty glass down with a click. “Exes are the worst. My last ex burned all my clothes when we broke up. I was pissed. I liked that red cocktail dress more than I ever liked him.”

“That’s because you were sleeping with me.” Jamison chuckled and leaned toward the blonde, his facial muscles barely moving with his expression.

Chloe giggled and rubbed her newly shortened nose against the news anchor’s. “That’s true. Though I still miss that dress. Your wife wasn’t much happier.”

The two laughed. Jeremy smirked.

As conversation at the table turned to the day’s media rankings, Raegan looked over each face, wondering what she was doing here. Jeremy was nice to her, and she enjoyed spending time with him alone—usually—but most of the people he surrounded himself with were as fake as their faces.

Her phone buzzed, and reaching around to where her coat hung on the back of her chair, she pulled it out of her pocket.



8:00 p.m. McClane Anniversary Party



Her heart felt as if it skipped a beat, and her stomach tightened as she stared at the screen.

Alec’s mother had invited her to the party months ago via e-mail. At the time, Raegan had sent a polite thanks-but-no-thanks note, but she’d put it in her calendar anyway. Now, as the reminder flashed, all she could think was . . . why shouldn’t I go? If she went, she could catch Alec before he left. She could show him the research she’d found on that missing kid. She could spend a few more minutes with him. Because God knew the bit of time they’d spent together in that hospital today had not been enough. Ever since she’d left she’d been thinking about him nonstop. About what he was feeling tonight. About how clear his eyes had been. About all the things she’d wanted to say but hadn’t.