God of Malice (Legacy of Gods #1)(107)

It wasn’t until I saw him in danger that I realized he brings out the best and worst in me and I’m addicted to the feeling.

I’m addicted to how he puts me above everything else, how he goes out of his way to make sure I eat—even bugs Anni about it. I’m addicted to the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not looking and how he didn’t listen to my brother’s demands and, instead, chose to stay with me.

I’m addicted to him.

The door swings open without as much as a knock and I startle as Nikolai peeks inside. “Heard Kill nearly got killed. See what I did there? Also, whose head do I have to cut from their body, rip the flesh from, and hang on a stick—

He interrupts himself and fully stalks inside with a rare shine in his eyes. He’s half-naked—I swear the guy is allergic to clothes—and all his tattoos are on full display like a map of destruction. Those, coupled with his massive build, make him intimidating as hell.

At least Killian is easygoing sometimes unless provoked. Nikolai never appears nonchalant—his cutthroat exterior is his true self.

And he’s watching my brother closely, with chilling calculation. “Now, what do we fucking have here? Did a lotus get lost?”

Bran remains still, but his fingers have found their way to his hair again and they’re tugging stronger than earlier.

“Was it this one who hurt our Kill, Gaz?” Nikolai asks slowly, menacingly, and the bulging of his muscles matches the hostile energy.

He’s honing himself for a fight, a quarrel.

Or any form of violence.

My heart beats in an irregular rhythm. Shit. What if Gareth tells him and Nikolai chooses to hurt Bran just to get back at Lan?

Before I can step in to try to smooth out the situation, Gareth says, “No. Brandon and Glyndon drove him here. They found him near their campus. For more details about the culprit, we have to wait for Killian to wake up.”

If I could hug Gareth, I would. And I’m not even a hugger. He got us out of this situation with enough ease to baffle me.

“Is that so?” Nikolai speaks to Bran. “You carried the motherfucker Kill all on your own? I thought you were a dainty lotus, but maybe you’re stronger than you look.”

“I’m going back,” Bran says in a low voice. “Want to come, Glyn?”

“No, I’m staying the night.” If I’d done so from the beginning instead of fighting for useless independence, then maybe none of this would’ve happened.

Or maybe I’m just placating myself.

Bran frowns, but then he nods, tells me to call him if I need anything, then leaves. Nikolai silently follows him and I have a feeling it’s not because he just wants to show him the way out.

Maybe I should’ve gone with Bran, after all.

“You can go if you want. I’ll take care of his meds,” Gareth tells me from his unmoving position on the wall.

“I want to do it.” My voice softens. “And thank you for covering up for Lan just now.”

“I was only leaving the ball in Kill’s court so he can personally deal with the situation when he wakes up. Besides, Niko is the kill first, ask questions later type, so he shouldn’t be privy to any details until a plan is in place.”

“Fair enough.”

Silence prevails for a beat before he says in a quiet tone, “You’re seriously worried about him?”

“You aren’t?”

The air vibrates with the length of his sigh. “No. He made sure to kill that part of me a decade ago when he used my concern to put the blame on me for things he’d done. Spoiler alert, though not really, that’s exactly what he’ll do to you eventually. Any noble feelings you have for him will be twisted, vilified, falsified until they become as dark as his.”

“That won’t be happening.”

“I said that, too, once upon a time.”

“You said, but you didn’t take action, Gareth. I’m not going to pretend that I understand what it’s like growing up with him, but I have a brother who’s similar to him. He tried to destroy everything beautiful in my and Bran’s lives so that we only depended on him and were at his beck and call, but do you see us being like him? Do you see us manipulating, hurting, absolutely discarding our morals just to adapt to him?”

He raises a brow. “Is that supposed to be a jab at me?”

“It’s concern.” My voice softens. “Killian, Landon, and my cousin, Eli, were born different. They don’t have the luxury of feeling emotions like we do, and yes, they’re prone to hurt others without batting an eye because of that, but it’s who they are. It’s not who you are, Gareth. You’re choosing to be like them, and if you see nothing wrong with that, then I feel sorry for you.”

“So you’re saying I should take Killian’s manipulations, blows, and pure fucking hatred and do nothing about it, is that it?”

“No. But you could talk about it. He has beef with you because he feels lesser than you.”

He laughs with a deranged edge. “Are you maybe talking about a different Killer than the one sleeping on that bed?”

“He heard your dad tell your mum that they should’ve only had you. That would automatically make him hold a grudge against you.”

A line appears between Gareth’s brows. “He could be lying to get your sympathy.”