Fueled(book two)(158)

I raise my eyebrows in agitation, my feathers automatically ruffled. “Guilt will do that to you,” I mutter as I move on looking at other possible gift options.

“It will,” she agrees, “but so will being falsely accused of something.” I peer up from the case of iPods and accessories, meeting her eyes. She reaches out and places a hand on my upper arm. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’m watching his non-stop attempts to get your attention. Shit, he’s been to our house three times in the last week trying to get you to listen to him. I’m not going to lie to him anymore for you and tell him you’re not home. I know you’re scared to let him back in again, but I think that fear might be healthy. The man’s got it bad for you. Just like you do him. Please, keep that in mind.”

I stare at her for a moment and then turn back to the case, needing a minute to digest what the one person that knows me better than anyone else has just said. “I’ll think about it,” is all I can manage. “Am I missing something here? Why are you pushing this so hard when you are the queen of moving on to the next guy when there is the smallest transgression let alone the guy screwing someone else? I just don’t get it.”

“Because he makes you happy. He challenges you. Pushes you outside your comfort zone. Makes you feel again—both good and bad—but at least you’re feeling. How can I not when in the short time you’ve been together, you’ve come back to life again?” She throws a box of cereal in the cart I’m pushing. “I know I’m supposed to side whole-heartedly with you because you’re my best friend, but I’m holding out hope.”

I try and let her words sink in. “You didn’t see what I saw, Haddie. And let’s face it, words mean nothing. One minute he says nothing happened and then the next that it was just a kiss, but you know what? Something did happen, and I’m not just talking about between him and Tawny. I told him I loved him—and the something that happened was him running away and turning to another woman.” My voice cracks on my last words, my resolve weakening. “I understand that he might have issues because of his past—I get that. Running away for a while to figure your head out is one thing, but running to another woman? That’s unacceptable.”

“I’ve never known you to be so hard on someone. To not give him the benefit of the doubt. From what you said, he seems to be as miserable as you are.”

“We’re done here,” I tell her, and I mean more than just the shopping. I don’t want to listen to her sympathize with Colton any more. I roll my eyes on a sigh as Haddie steps in front of the cart to block me.

“A man like Colton isn’t going to wait around forever,” she warns. “You need to figure out what you want or else you’re going run the risk of losing him. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do and say things you never thought you ever would—like forgiving. It sucks donkeys, but that’s just the way it is.” She steps to the side of the cart, her eyes steadfast on mine. “There’s a fine line between being stubborn and being stupid, Rylee,”

“Hmpf,” is all I manage to say in response, pushing the cart past her, but her words hit their target. I blow out a long breath as I fight back the tears threatening and the images that flood my memory. I struggle to figure out where exactly that line is. At what point do I actually open myself up and listen to Colton’s explanations with the possibility of believing him? And at what part of that process do I become stupid for either forgiving or not forgiving him. Am I willing to let the man I love walk away on principal alone?