Fueled(book two)(156)

“It’s all just a misunderstanding. You’re totally blowing this out of proportion and I—”

A knock on the door jolts us from our bubble. It takes me a moment to find my voice and sound composed. “Yes?”

“Teddy needs you in five,” Stella says timidly through the door.

“Okay. I’ll be right there.” I close my eyes momentarily, resigning my soul to this continuous anger and hurt.

Colton clears his throat; his face clearly conflicted between forcing me to hash this out and allowing me to retain my dignity here at work. Reluctantly he nods his head in defeat. “I’ll go, Rylee. I’ll leave, but I’m not letting you run away from this—from us—until I get to have my say. This is by no means over. Understood?”

I just look at him, missing him so desperately but unable to wrap my head around telling him I love him and then him running into another woman’s arms. Unable to accept the ever-changing story about what happened between him and Tawny. I nod my head once, panic fluttering through my body when I realize that as much as I need distance, a part of me is relieved to know that I will get to see him again. It’s a silly thought seeing as the sight of him churns my stomach and causes my heart to hurt, but you can’t undo the addictive haze of love.

Tears well in my eyes as I brace myself when he leans in and places a lingering kiss on the top of my head. Chills dance up my spine despite my initial reaction to pull away from him in self-preservation.

He holds my head to his lips for a moment so that I can’t squirm away. “I had to see you, Rylee. I moved Heaven and earth to get that sponsorship so that I could call Teddy and tell him to let me present today.” My breath hitches at his words. I can feel his throat work a swallow as I drown in him despite the pain he’s inflicting. “It’s killing me that you won’t talk to me—that you won’t believe me—and I’m not sure what to do with how that makes me feel.” He pauses but keeps his cheek against my head, and I know opening up like this is difficult for him. “I can still feel you, Rylee. Your skin. The way you taste. Your lips when you smile against mine. Smell the vanilla you wear. Hear your laugh…you’re everywhere. You’re all I can think about.”

With those parting words, Colton turns and leaves my office, shutting the door behind him without looking back. I nearly cave. I nearly give into the urge to call his name and go back on the promises I made to myself long ago about what I deserve in a relationship. The memory of Tawny in his doorway draws me back to myself. Allows me to keep the slippery hold on my resolve.

I exhale slowly, trying to locate my composure because his words have undone me. They were the words I needed to hear weeks ago. The words I needed to hear in response to telling him I loved him. But now I’m just not sure if they’re too late. My stumbling heart says they’re not, but my sensible head says yes as it tries to protect my vulnerable feelings.

After a few minutes, I stop trembling and freshen up my make-up in time to participate in a smaller conference with the bigwigs from corporate. During the meeting, my cell phone vibrates signaling an incoming text, and I grab it quickly as to not interrupt the conversation. In my fleeting glance, I see the short text from Colton.

Sad by Maroon 5 - x C

I know the song. A man talking about the two paths of a relationship. A man admitting that he chose the wrong one to take. That he never said the words she needed to hear. That he realizes it now that she’s gone.

I take a small victory in knowing he’s affected by the turn of events, but it doesn’t feel good. Nothing about this situation feels good.