Frayed (Torn #2)(60)

Carter’s jaws locked as he stared at the woman he was so crazy about. “So if Bass cheats, too, you’re going to dump him?” He bit out. His words were like bullets to Emma.

“Damn you, Mason. That’s f*uking enough! Really, please, she’s already had enough.” I interrupted their little spat. I wasn’t sure what these two had been up to talking all night long, but I wasn’t going to let Carter put doubts into Emma’s brain.

Whatever Carter Mason needed to say or do, he could pick up where he left off in Santa Barbara, but until then, he could just kindly shut the hell up.





***



It had been five days since we got back from our vacation and I was more than antsy since I was going to see Harry tomorrow night. These five days, though, were terrible since thoughts of both Taylor and Harry hounded me day in and day out. My only consolation was that we were now in our new rented house, and just as Lindsey promised, I got to enjoy my morning cup of joe Joe with some nice, hot men as distractions.

Amber came back two days ago and I must say it was the best feeling to see my friend back after so long. She was still the same, sassy and bitchy as ever. Spilling my guts out about what happened wasn’t the easiest thing, but Lindsey was there for me when I couldn’t go on any longer. As to be expected, Amber wasn’t very forthcoming about her situation, although she did promise that she was off her cocaine habit. At that point, Lindsey and I were just more than relieved that she was actually paying heed and had stopped her deadly addiction to drugs.

It was obvious that Amber was still coming to terms with whatever shit she had gone through. I wasn’t going to force the issue, but whenever she was ready to spill her demons, I was always here for her, no matter what.

When Saturday afternoon, rolled in, I was ready to collapse from the nerves I felt about seeing Harry again. The man had booked the Four Seasons cottage for the occasion. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be offended about his lack of sensitivity or to be touched since that place held so many great memories of us together.

Dressed in a cotton baby blue, long dress that matched my eyes and nude, wedge sandals, I strode out of the parking lot of Four Seasons and headed towards the cottage. Had I made a decision? No, I had not, but I had the ring with me. Questions and more questions plagued my mind since Harry and I didn’t get the chance to talk much the last time I saw him. Taylor made sure the man was in no condition to do much of anything.

When I rounded the corner, the first thing I saw was Harry leaning against the cottage door, waiting. He gave me a dashing smile when he saw me walk towards him. “You look beautiful as always.” He greeted me with a big hug before kissing my cheek.

I could see that he still had a few bruises from Taylor’s act of madness, but Harry didn’t even address it. “Do they hurt?” I pointed at the yellowish, bruised spot on his face.

Harry took hold of my hand and guided me inside. “Not anymore. I can’t say I blame him. I deserved each shot.”

That was honest of him to admit that.

He spun me around, his eyes pleading. “I’m sorry, but this is killing me. Do you have an answer to my proposal?”

“No, I don’t. I have so many questions, Harry. How do you think Becka and the rest of the family will react to this? You’re going to be a father soon, for crying out loud. Divorcing Becka and then proposing to me was f*uking insane. Especially after you ended things when you found out I was carrying your baby.” Sighing, I continued. “How do you expect me to trust you after what you’ve done to me? If it wasn’t for Taylor being there, I would be dead by now.”

Harry frowned, as he stood closer. “What do you mean by that, Trista? You wouldn’t have died.” His voice was paper thin, but I heard him loud and clear.

“I was swimming at night. I wasn’t even thinking about suicide, it never occurred to me, but something changed while I was out there. I remembered feeling free of the weight of everything just before I passed out. If it weren’t for him, swimming out to come and get me, I wouldn’t be here today.” Events of that night surfaced in my mind’s eye. The heartfelt concern from Taylor’s eyes, the doubt, the scare, the horror and finally, his determination to make sure I wasn’t stupid enough to attempt it twice.

“God, I feel like a monster. I had no idea you were that far gone with your pain, Trista,” Harry whispered as he tried to read me, but my mind was back in Greece, with Taylor.

“He’s gotten to you. I can see it in your eyes.”

It was impossible not to. Taylor was different, a one of a kind man who marched to his own beat, most of all, he had a heart. This truly magnificent human hadn’t left my thoughts. At. All.

It was him now, the moment Taylor broke through my fa?ade and my barriers, I had no chance in Hades of turning back, no chance to go on with life without him in it. He left himself there, inside my head and with my now willing heart. The decision had been made… weeks ago. I just hadn’t realized that until now. Without qualms, I handed the velvet, ring box back to Harry with a steady hand. “I can’t marry you.” Harry pushed my hand away, not willing to take the ring back.

He gave me a sad, teary smile, but spoke with a calm, clear voice. “Keep it. It was for you. I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

“I’m not taking this with me Harry. Once I walk out of this door, I don’t need any reminder of you, my guilt alone is enough. Tokens from you, I can live without.”