Forever You're Mine (MINE #4)(59)

For good.





Where there is love there is life.

~Mahatma Gandhi





There was no marker, nothing but a large mound of dirt as fresh as the memories flashing through my mind. The cold wind blew through me, howling through the trees and chilling me to the bone.

Why did it still hurt so much?

Why couldn’t I let go?

I knew I needed to move past this, but I just couldn’t figure out how.

Having Winston home helped. It had taken him time to adjust, especially after learning that his little sister was nearly killed for the second time.

Thankfully, Holden was generous enough to give my over protective brother a job, giving him something else to do besides worry about me. So between his income and mine, we could afford to rent an apartment in town. I couldn’t bear to stay at that house anymore.

It was just too painful.

Looking up at the man next to me, my heart clenched in my chest as his comforting hand squeezed mine. I looked back down at the grave, trying to search for one good memory. Something that would give my heart a little bit of peace.

My feet dangled from the bed as I watched her comb her long blonde hair. She colored her cheeks with that pink powdery stuff and painted her lips with that red lipstick I liked so much.

“C’mere, Cora,” my mother said and I hopped down from the bed. I stood in front of my beautiful mama, hugging my teddy to my chest, bathing in her attention. Something she gave very little of.

My mother never spoke as she brushed my cheeks, coloring them the same as hers. She smiled back at me as she lined my tiny lips in red.

“You’re so beautiful. Just like your mama.”

She turned her attention back to the mirror while I hugged my teddy tighter and smiled even bigger, because when I grew up, I wanted to look just like her.

I ran from the room, searching for my big brother. “Winton! Winton!”

I found him in the kitchen, making my macaroni and cheese dinner. I didn’t have a daddy, but if I did, he’d be just like my big brother. Scooping me up into his big strong arms, he laughed. “What is it baby girl? You hungry?”

“Yes!” I answered. “Guess what? Mama said I’m bootiful, just like her!” I exclaimed and my brother shook his head.

“For once she’s right. You’re so beautiful, baby girl,” he said, kissing my cheek. “But your beauty shines from the inside, and that’s the best kind of beauty to have.”

With teddy squished between us, I hugged his neck tight. I loved my big brother so much.

When I grow up, I want a heart just like his.

“Do you miss her?” I asked, looking up at my brother, my protector.

This was the first time he’d been here. Tears shimmered in his eyes and I found it difficult to hold back my own. I didn’t even cry at her funeral, but now being here with him, and seeing the effect her death had on him, I couldn’t hold back. His arm wrapped around my shoulder as he held me close. We stood there in silence, the past smothering us both.

After a while, he released me to place a bouquet of daisies on the grave and grabbed my hand, leading me to the car.

“You ok?” he asked, pulling away from the curb.

I gave him a weak smile. “No, but I will be.”





Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

~Victor Hugo





Growing up, we never had a real Christmas tree. Winston always made sure we had something, but it was small and fake and hardly had any gifts beneath it.

So this year, I was determined to have a real tree, with real decorations and plenty of real gifts. But the best gift of all was sitting across from me with the biggest grin on his face. For the first time in weeks, I was smiling too. This was our first Christmas together in seven years. I got emotional just thinking about it. All he’s been through, all we’ve been through together. He was still adjusting.

We both were.

It was Christmas Eve, and I was making a big dinner tonight. When I asked Winston what he wanted, he said he didn’t care what we had as long as there was mac and cheese. So I’d gone all out and baked a spiral ham, made all the fixings, green beans, corn, potatoes, and homemade mac and cheese. He’d also requested a chocolate cake.

Winston dipped his finger into the batter for the third time since I began mixing. “Stop that!” I scolded.

“This is my first chocolate cake in years, baby girl. I’m a little excited.”

“Well, can you at least let me finish cooking it first?”

“What time is everyone supposed to be here?” he asked, taking a swig of his sweet tea.

“Around 4 or so.”

“You nervous?”

I shrugged, butterflies thick in my belly. “A little. I’m not used to this, you know.”

He nodded in understanding. Neither one of us knew what it was like to have a big family Christmas.

Cannon’s lips met the side of my neck, and just like always, I melted in a puddle at his feet. “Don’t be nervous, baby.” One arm banded around my waist, while his other hand reached around to dip a finger into the bowl. I watched as he placed the tip of his chocolate covered finger in his mouth, moaning around it in appreciation.

I relished the sounds coming out of his mouth. Knowing how close I’d come to losing him, I appreciated the little things a lot more these days.