Forever You're Mine (MINE #4)(5)
A little too much, maybe.
“The day we became friends,” I told him, earning myself a smile.
We’d grown extremely close since then. Cannon knew pretty much everything there was to know about me. Some people didn’t like to talk about their problems. I didn’t share my shit all over the place like others I knew, but I wasn’t afraid to go to my friends for help either. Cannon knew my mother was a junky, who wasn’t really a mother at all. He knew about my older brother Winston, who was on death row. And of course, he knew everything that had happened between me and Dent.
Well, most of it anyway.
“Best decision I ever made.” he said. “Except now, I’m startin’ to regret it.”
My heart took a nose dive. “What? Why?”
“Because maybe if I would have been more persistent, you wouldn’t be with that *, who clearly treats you like shit.”
“Oh, and you think you can treat me so much better?”
“Well for starters, you wouldn’t be cryin’ when you left my bed,” he stated firmly. “Because I would never let you leave,” I grimaced as my stomach fluttered and my chest grew tight.
What was he trying to say? He wanted me to be his? Or he just wanted to f*ck me?
Confused by his words, I rose to my feet to collect our dirty plates. “We both know that’s never gonna happen,” I said depositing the dishes in the sink.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he countered and heat invaded body.
I ignored his statement, knowing full well I didn’t have the voice to tell him it would absolutely never happen. Because the truth was, I wanted it to happen. I’d fantasized about it, dreamed about it. Wondered what it would be like to be the one he desired, the one he needed. But I didn’t want him to use me like he used other women. I didn’t want to be his escape.
I wanted to be his solace.
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
~Elbert Hubbard
Cora wasn’t like other girls. Of course she was beautiful, but she also had this quiet confidence about her along with something else I’ve never been able to name. Whatever it was held my heart hostage. The feelings I had for her grew more and more every day. Almost possessive. I didn’t want to let her out of my sight. I damn sure didn’t want her near him.
Why am I so afraid to lose her when she’s not even mine?
I kept asking myself the same question over and over again, but the answer never came. Probably because I was terrified to acknowledge what I’d always felt for her. Because deep down I knew, it was bigger than either one of us could handle.
It had been a week since her ex had texted her and the voice in my head continued to grow louder day by day. The one that had been screaming since the first time I laid eyes on her. I tried not to think about how bad I wanted her. How her lips would feel on mine. How good those smooth legs would feel wrapped around my bare waist. But it was damn hard to do with her sitting right next to me.
The summer wind poured through our rolled down windows while Dixieland Delight was turned down low. Cora rode shotgun, feet propped up on the dash, long blonde hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. A few thousand strands had escaped, dancing and whipping across her beautiful face.
Fucking beautiful.
She gazed out of the window, a faraway look in her eyes. “You ever think about runnin’ away, Cannon?”
All the damn time.
“Yeah,” I answered, taking a sip from my beer, keeping my eyes on the dirt grooves of the road. “But I know it won’t solve anything.”
Her eyes swung to mine. “You didn’t feel better when you left Alabama?”
My fist tightened around the wheel. “No, hell is not a place you can escape. You carry it around with you.” I told her calmly, trying to keep my voice even but failing miserably.
“Wow…I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say something so deep and profound.” She teased, and it eased the tightness in my chest. She knew she struck a nerve. We’d met at this bridge before. The one where I tell her to jump off because I’m not talking about Alabama or anything else from my past.
Cora shifted in her seat, tucking one bare foot beneath her. “No, you’re right. It won’t solve anything.”
“What are you runnin’ from, babe?”
She scoffed. “My mother, for one.”
Shit, who could blame her, that woman was such a bitch. I’d only met her once and that was enough. Besides the creepy way she eye-f*cked me the whole five minutes I was in her presence, she also treated Cora like shit. And I didn’t like that one bit. They were constantly fighting.
“Why don’t you move out?” I asked.
Cora’s sad eyes fell to her lap. “You know I can’t afford that. Every dime I make goes to Winston’s appeal, and to make matters worse, I haven’t seen him in almost three months since my car is a piece of shit. We write, but it’s not the same.”
“I can take you to see him if you want.”
“It’s almost two hours away.” she informed me.
“So?”
“You would do that for me?”
Why was she so surprised? I would do anything for her.
Well, most anything.