Forbidden Love with the Marine(51)
“I’d never have imagined you being nervous about anything,” she said in a low tone.
“You’d be surprised,” he murmured, taking a sip of wine to wet his suddenly parched throat. He hadn’t been joking – he was worried as hell. What if she said no? What if he wasn’t convincing enough? What if...
“So what’s making you nervous?” he asked, cutting off those worrying thoughts and perking his eyebrow at her. “Is it about your last trip to London?”
“Uh...something like that. But, you first. Why could you possibly be nervous?” Makayla asked quickly, obviously buying more time.
A smile tilted the corner of his lips, his hold on her slender fingers tightening warmly. “Maybe you already guessed. I’ve not exactly been too subtle about it. I mean here we are, having a romantic dinner in a classy Italian restaurant.”
Blade broke off, snagging a breath. Damn! He’d staked out loads of life-threatening missions on his own; faced the barrel of a weapon face to face more than once, and spent the last ten years living the life that the toughest guys out there only dreamed about but couldn’t survive in. So he should be the last person getting nerves right now. And yet, this wasn’t combat, this was his heart on the line this time. And the woman before him could shatter it to smithereens with just one word.
Looking up at her raptly attentive face, he said simply, “I love you, Makayla. I don’t have any other fancy way to say it. Or to do this.”
He pulled his hand from hers to retrieve a small box from his inner suit pocket. He heard her gasp out loud when he opened the box to reveal a dazzling engagement ring. He placed the open box in front of her and nodded.
“Try it on; see if it fits. It was my mother’s,” he said, grinning. “Okay, just a warning though that trying it on is almost the same as accepting because then I’m going to be really bossy and never let you take it off once you wear it.”
“Oh my God, Blade,” Makayla breathed, staring down at the ring, her fists clenching on either side of her dinner plate. “It’s so beautiful. It’s...perfect.”
“That’s why I’m offering it to the right person,” Blade said quietly, all humor gone as he gazed into her now pale face.
Her expression was pained as she looked up at him and suddenly Blade’s heart stopped because he knew exactly what was coming next.
Chapter Twenty-Three
No, I’m not the right person, Makayla wanted to say; Jessica is. And Jamie.
But her voice felt choked in her throat.
Hearing Blade say he loved her had given her a jab of pleasure-pain that had her feeling ripped in two. She wished she could tell him she loved him too since that was the truth. And yet she’d held back, only to get one more shock when he’d unearthed the gorgeously set diamond ring.
It physically hurt her to look up into his face and prepare to tell him that she couldn’t marry him. And she couldn’t tell him the real reason. She didn’t want him to feel any more guilt than he’d already suffered.
“I’m sorry,” she hushed, trembling inside at the effort it was taking to do this without caving in. “I can’t accept the ring. I can’t marry you, Blade.”
Before he could ask why, she started speaking quickly, ignoring the pain and shock etched on his handsome face.
“I’m...it’s very hard for me to make the decision but don’t think I haven’t taken time to even consider it. I don’t need more time. I’m leaving, Blade. I’ve been offered a higher position in London and it’s a great opportunity for me. I’m going to take it.”
“Tell me this is a joke,” Blade said, his voice toneless.
Makayla had to keep herself from choking on a sob, willing back the hot tears threatening to spill. “I’m not joking. I’ve always only dreamed of getting this chance. I can’t afford to blow it after I’ve worked so hard to get here. The pay’s fabulous and my chances of reaching the top in record time have doubled. I was hoping you’d be happy for me.”
“Oh, I am,” Blade said thinly. “I’m happy you’re set to achieve your dreams. Too bad I thought those dreams would somehow happen to fit me in somewhere. Guess I was wrong.”
“Blade...”
“But maybe I wasn’t so wrong,” he cut in with a musing tone. “I mean, from the start I told myself that I’m not really your type. I was sure this was all just an exciting diversion for you considering I’m no hotshot Wall Street tycoon with four degrees. I’m just a soldier with some pretty f*cked-up issues and who the hell was I to expect you to want to deal with that?”
“Blade, I know you’re mad, but please...”
“I could never be mad at you,” Blade said with far more composure than Makayla had expected and yet she felt chilled by the icy rim within his blue eyes. “I should have known; I had to see this coming but I was blind even though it’s not the first time. I’m used to certain women wanting me to keep them warm in bed but when it comes to making me a part of their lives, they decide they want to go for something better; more conformed to their fancy level.”
“I never thought I was fancy...”
“You don’t have to,” Blade said with a twist to his lips. “It’s just enough that you are. You’re accomplished, ambitious and beautiful. You don’t deserve a man like me; you need one of those country club types with the kind of background to ensure you don’t get embarrassed trying to introduce him to your co-workers and friends.”